SRS I have no Game...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Slickismax, Apr 19, 2007.

  1. Slickismax

    Slickismax New Member

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    A little background...I'm almost 27, make decent money (around 50k/year), recently bought a house (two months ago), and I have some money in the bank. I have only ever had two girlfriends, and only dated a few more then that. I'm a little shy, but I'll approach a girl if I feel the situation is acceptable. Most of the time, I feel the conversation is going really well, but when I ask for their number, or ask if they want to go out sometime, I always get one of these replies: I already have a BF, I'm not interested in dating right now, I'm a lesbian, or they give me a wrong number.

    It has been a real blow to my self confidence getting turned down by every girl I've asked out in the last 5 years. That's right; I haven't been on a date in 5 years! I've tried the whole "don't go looking and you'll find one" thing for a while now, but honestly, I think I could go the rest of my life without a girl approaching me first. I just don't know what to do, and I just bury myself with work and with building my Jeep to keep from feeling depressed.

    I've tried meeting girls at bars, at clubs, at parties, at the mall, at concerts, even at church! I've tried the whole "cocky comedy" thing, but I really suck at it. I either come across as arrogant, or just boring. What can I do to get out of this ridiculously long slump?
     
  2. Madman™

    Madman™ Guest

    seriously, i had the same problem in high school, i could not get anything from girls, now i got a girlfriend they are all after me :(

    did you try online dating?

    homosexual?
     
  3. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Buy the "Mystery Method" and study it.
     
  4. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Just be yourself.

    Here is how it works.

    You can't go out looking and expect to find something. If it's right you'll find the one when your not looking for a SO.

    That's just how it is.
     
  5. Slickismax

    Slickismax New Member

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    I haven't tried online dating, I've always been a bit skeptical. I guess it can't hurt though! And, I would rather die without ever getting any poon again then be gay.

    Mystery Method...going to Borders tonight to pick it up!

    I don't disagree with just being myself, but I guess I just suck at it because I always get a bit nervous when I'm first talking to a girl that I'm attracted to. For the last year or so, I just go and hang out with a few friends, and I always get rejected when I end up in a situation where I'm talking with a girl. I really have stopped actively looking for a girl, but it's always in the back of my mind when I start talking to someone new.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :rofl: ... the day I put on a wedding ring I got 10x more attractive to women. My friend didn't believe me so I took it off and gave it to him and he got a ton of numbers that night.



    OP, I play a lot of volleyball so that's what I used. You can substitute any of your hobbies. Here's what I did. I joined a new co-ed league where I didn't know anyone. I had to drive a bit to get there but it was worth it. I told them I didn't have a team and to just put me on one. Then I showed up and played. At worst I was going to play ball once/wk, at best I'd get a hot single horny chick on my team. It turned out in the middle. I went on one date with a woman from my team and we both knew it wasn't right, but she introduced me to a ton of other women in the league. I went out with a few and ended up seeing one for 3+ years.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I don't think you can buy it in stores. It's a .pdf you can only download.
     
  8. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I play volleyball and love every sec of it in the summer!
     
  9. Slickismax

    Slickismax New Member

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    I will have to try joining a co-ed team of some sorts, sounds like a good way to go!
     
  10. Slickismax

    Slickismax New Member

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    Off to Google I go!
     
  11. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    A co-ed volleyball league is smart. Try to get on an early league and then when ur done kinda hang out and scope things out. Sometimes you will get asked to sub. Best times ever. You will meet a lot of new people!
     
  12. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    there is no better way to meet a girl........ you know she's athletic, you get to see her wearing very little, and if your league is attached to a club/bar then you get to hang out with her after. And if no relationships work out you *STILL* got to play ball.

    win/win/win :bigthumb:
     
  13. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Plus you get to watch her things flop around!
     
  14. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Ladies love that shit
     
  15. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Join the gym.

    Evaluate yourself for anxiety issues.

    Start eating clean, healthy meals.

    Start taking omega 3 and 6 fish and flax oil supplements.

    Be yourself.

    Make yourself better.

    Go on dates. You are getting rejected because something you are doing is wrong.

    I don't know what that is, you probably don't either. But it stems from a lack of confidence.

    Back to step one, join the gym etc. In four months or more, when you are looking jacked after going to the gym every second day and spending (10 minute warm up) hour on weights, rest of that 2 hour total on cardio, you will have immense self confidence, and even better, sexy arms. ;)

    Good luck brother in arms.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  17. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Im not really into the whole virtual thing, if you do anything make sure its something solid within your inner circle of reach instead of something virtual and unnatainable.
     
  18. Last edited by a moderator: Apr 20, 2007
  19. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I'm not sure if it's that I'm safe because I'm married so they let their guard down and flirt, or that they know I won't call because I'm married, or if it's that I'm a challenge because I'm married, but before I got married I *never* would have had a girl write her number on a paper and stick it in my pocket but I've had it happen more than once since.

    Once my wife was standing about 10' away and this other girl knew it (didn't know her, but knew she was my wife) and she slipped her hand in my jacket and put her number in my shirt pocket and played with my nipple for a second and said "call me." She stopped and took a step back and was talking to her friend and my wife came over (she didn't see any of this). I reached in my pocket and took it out and handed it to my wife and said "do you know whose number this is?" and she said no and threw it out. The other chick was pissed!!! WTF did she expect? I'm fucking MARRIED and she knew it and that douche got mad that I threw out her number.
     
  20. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    advertisement? he's not selling anything.
     
  21. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I am not sure how to tell you something helpful.
    Please read what I am writing. Take something from it. I don't know if you will think it is applicable to you or not.

    I was in your situation for a long time. Like 7 years.
    It was maddening.
    I used to compare it to baseball.
    I would say to people, 'Imagine you have a kid that has joined the baseball team. The kid has been talking it up all winter, it is now springtime. He gets to play with his friends. About half way through the year he begins to get discouraged and pissed.
    He is mad because everytime he has ever been at bat he has missed the ball. The coach has tried pitching to him, people have tried easy pitches, slow pitches, fast pitches. No matter what every single time the kid swings he misses.
    But the poor kid has spunk.
    Every week before the game he gets all worked up, he convinces himself he has it figured out. He goes out with the best of intentions... and misses.
    Every week he comes home more depressed and more down.
    Week in and week out rinse and repeat.'.

    What would you tell a child like this?

    I have always thought the answer was simple.
    Forget baseball.
    There are other sports.
    Try basketball, or bike riding or swimming or a million other things. You congratulate the kid for having heart and try to stear him to something he is more suited for.

    For 7 years I felt like dating was like baseball.
    I would go out on a date and strike out - guarenteed.

    That is how I felt.

    Here is the thing about me. Remember, this is about me I don't know how to comment about you.

    When I turned 30 I took a good hard look at my life. I accepted that I suffered from depression and that I couldn't handle it on my own. I went and got help.
    I forgot about dating for a bit and began to fix myself. I was broken, but I was so obsessed with dating that I didn't understand how broken I was.
    With the help of a doctor, with the help of Zoloft I got myself back to the point where I was ready to date again.

    With the farther help of eHarmony (GREAT service) I met a lady and we got married in Janruary.

    I feel for you. I feel something awful. I was there. It wasn't fun.
    The solution for me turned out to be a painful self examination and the realization that there was something broken that I was strong enough to fix by myself.

    Best of luck.
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Let's go for broke.

    My personal collection of dating advice links:

    http://www.friendzoned.com/forums/showthread.php?t=435

    I've read all of those. In MY opinion, at YOUR stage, you should check out the Doc Love stuff. This is a great place to start working on yourself. Once you REALLY understand his stuff, all the other things just fall into place.

    And lucky you, BTW, I was 30 before I sought out help on women. You're 3 years ahead of me. :x:
     
  23. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    its basically like everything in life that you're not good at. You have to go out and learn how to do it. You have to practice. You have to be hard on yourself, AND honest with yourself. When you mess up, look at your approach and try to find places you went wrong. The whole "going to the gym" thing will probably help, but if you haven't gotten anything in 5 years then Im going to say its a social thing.
     
  24. fhfn2000

    fhfn2000 New Member

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    I've been poking around with Mystery Method, and I suppose that may be what they refer to as the Backstreet Boy Effect. You have been pre-selected by other women, and thus more appealing. :dunno:
    btw, I found a lot of Mystery stuff on torrent sites, if that helps the OP.

    maybe try the social hobby thing. Like volleyball as mentioned.
    I've heard salsa dancing is a great way to meet women. I started taking lessons about a month ago. I guess we'll see how it goes. It's still pretty fun regardless if you find a girl.
     
  25. Hypno toad

    Hypno toad Guest

    yea. i still some times feel like i have no game. you just need to re-build your confidence
     

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