SRS I have come to the conclusion that I am attracted to broken/damaged ladies...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SaviouR, Jul 3, 2007.

  1. SaviouR

    SaviouR Dallas - Choke City :(

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    For the past three to four years, every friendship and relationship I have had have always been with emotionally broken or damaged women. By that I mean that their insecurities and shortcomings were evident to me from the get-go, not after getting to know them deeply and personally over the course of weeks or months.

    The last relationship I was in had me paired with a women that was heavily medicated for her incurable, but not terminal disease that made her gloomy and depressed most of the time. The more and more I got to know of her situation I became that much more attached to her. From the beginning I knew that she was going to be this way for the rest of her life but I still latched on until I ended the relationship two months ago. I cut myself off from her for three weeks until she came back to Dallas in dire straits. For the next month, I found myself with her constantly, part of it being her need to be cared for medically with my help and a series of Freudian slips on my part. I enjoy her company greatly, but opted to keep it on the casual side while she thought otherwise and clung onto me. I knew what I was getting myself into by doing this and made a conscious decision to stay with her for the time being. I gave her the news, smoothed everything down as much as I would, but she is still constantly depressed over it.

    Flash forward to last Saturday, where I was enjoying myself in a gentleman's club and was talking to my usual entertainer. We have for the last three months enjoyed each other's company and I got to know her a bit better. She is extremely insecure to the point where she gets visibly shaken when she is talked down to, but any compliment (besides the generic compliments she hears everyday from other customers) would make her hug, kiss, and generally cheerier around me. From reading in between the lines in our conversation and her body language, I would tell that she current boyfriend treats her like complete garbage and is far too loyal to leave him.

    (before anybody asks: Yes, I was attracted to her before I got to know her, but it was a strictly platonic relationship for me at least. I know that first and foremost it is work for her but we got along well)

    After I left, I spent the night not sleeping and worrying about her and than it hit me that I am only attracted or care for the emotionally broken or damaged women. I have been told that I have a "caretaker" personality by other friends and wonder if this rings true with every women I know.

    I know that most of the people out there are insecure and have the usual thoughts of fear and rejection, but the women I am around are the heavy to extreme cases. I do not find myself wanting to have a relationship with emotionally stable and healthy women even though I know that I would fare better with them.

    Is there any given reason why I would be attracted to this type of woman than others? I always end up agonizing over all of these women and get emotionally burned and wasted in the end myself.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    perhaps something to do with the way you were raised
     
  3. SaviouR

    SaviouR Dallas - Choke City :(

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    I identify closest to the Type D personality, so worrying about others has always been a (bad?) habit of mine.

    My parents have always been there, but we never really connected as well as I hope we would. I grew up in the traditional Vietnamese household with my parents being the first generation if that helps. I end up talking to the friends I confide to the most but they are stumped with my obsession with broken women.
     
  4. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Savior complex.

    Been there, know it well.
     
  5. guchiew

    guchiew Increase your killing power.

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    There was a thing in this month's Maxim about this. IIRC, it says that you most likely want to distract the girl (in addition to yourself) from your own insecurities.
     
  6. SaviouR

    SaviouR Dallas - Choke City :(

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    I thought that a Savior/God Complex usually means that I am a narcissist and/or extremely arrogant?
    For the past month and a half, I have been feeling much more positive than I have always been. I started eating better, got a job, felt more confident, and have learned a thing or two about self-control. I still know of my faults, but are you saying that I am somehow transferring on all of the women I meet?
     
  7. guchiew

    guchiew Increase your killing power.

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    If by transferring, you mean focusing, then yes.
     
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So now that you know you are attracted to broken women do you want to change it?? I mean it seems clear that there are reasons why you are attracted to these types of women and people can help identify those reasons....however, if you don't want to change, what's the point?
     
  9. SaviouR

    SaviouR Dallas - Choke City :(

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    Now that I think about it, I end up letting all of my lady friends vent on me or just talk to me about there problems with the occasional insight in their conundrums, but never actively tried to "fix" their problems...
    Perhaps I am hiding all of my own problems by dating women that are more unstable then me? I figure that if I dated a strong lady then I would have to face all of my shortcomings. Nonetheless, I have been trying to fix my own shortcomings and bad habits with some success in the short run...
     

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