I have absolutely no sexual appetite :(

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Anonymous User, Jun 5, 2005.

  1. Here's a story:

    Went on a first date with a girl yesterday. She called it the longest first date she's ever been on. We went to the museum, dinner, walked around the lake and then to my place. We made out for awhile, went to the grocery store to get some food, came back, made out some more, watched a movie, she fell asleep and spent the night.

    Here's the thing, I told her she was in no condition to drive home coz she was tired and lived about 30 minutes away. I told her I had jammies she could wear and I wouldn't "try anything." She trusted me and I gave her some jammies to wear.

    We cuddled in my bed and I made her take off her top because I wanted to feel her skin. But that's all I wanted! She even asked me, "Is there anything you want to say to me?" I said no. I honestly didn't want to fuck her, and in some cases I'm not very physically attracted to her (she's gaining weight in certain areas).

    What the hell is wrong with me though? Seriously! It's been a year since I've had sex, and I know she would've let me. This isn't anything new either. My previous relationships have all been a struggle when it comes to the sex. Note that it's just the sex though. I'm very affectionate with everything else.

    What can I do to get some kind of sexual appetite? :(
     
  2. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Doesn't sound like anything is wrong with you. Just sounds like you werent attracted enough to her to wanna jump her bones... no worries.
     
  3. firedancer

    firedancer New Member

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    beside that - it was your first date! just because she'd "let you" doesn't mean that would've helped you in any way down the road as far as a relationship goes...
     
  4. Yes, but this is a problem that has haunted me in the past. I have problems with getting and maintaining erections. It's like I'm either concentrating too much or too little. I don't know.

    In some ways I laid there with the notion that I haven't gotten laid in over a year and that I have this fairly attractive, half-naked woman lying next to me who is ready and willing to let me give it to her and that I should do it. But I have this block when it comes to sex. Yes, it feels great, but it isn't on my list of priorities or "drives" (like hunger drive, etc).

    I love women. I love their bodies, smells and moans, but for some goddamn reason, I feel asexual sometimes. I'm thinking about going to the doctor about this or something. :(

    I need some advice for getting and keeping erections...
     
  5. Marla

    Marla New Member

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    Definetely! I agree with her...that IS quite a first date. I would never be in bed, sleeping over at my dates house on day ONE. That is moving way way way to fast for me. There isn't a problem with you not wanting to have sex. I don't blame you -- you hardly even knew the girl! I think if you were in a relationship for quite sometime and you begin to connect with your partner, then you'd be more willing to be sexual with her. I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex on date one either -- even month one! I don't do that. To me she seems as if she's rather "easy" if she would have had sex with you just like that....but don't abuse it. Get to know her more, and you'll be more up for playing around and being intimiate.
     
  6. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    you're a fag.
     
  7. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    Shouldn't you be in the main forum or something, asking for cliffs to threads with more than 3 sentences? :rolleyes:

    Cliffs: :gtfo2:
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    #1 How old are you?

    #2 Any family history of depression?

    #3 Have you ever thought about experimenting... and not with females?
     
  9. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    There is nothing wrong with you. You are probably a lot like me, you want something deeper in a relationship, than one based on sex.

    I know for myself, I'd get more self gratification just sleeping next to a beautiful woman. I think that's the part I miss most right now. I too have been single for over a year, getting close to a year and a half, and been just under that since I've had sex. It really doesn't bother me though. I'm looking for Miss right, not Miss right now (yeah I know that's a lame way to put it, but it fits best).

    She may think what happened was wierd, and she's most likely not used to someone treating her with respect, like you have. But she will like it in the long run. ;)

    There was probably also the factor that she was tired that kept you from persuing the nookie, I'd have done the same in your shoes (or was it slippers, maybe "jammies" would be better term here. ;)).
     
  10. 26

    A little, and I am a little stressed this week because I've been fighting with my mom over the phone and email and I have a job interview this week. But again, this is a reoccuring thing.

    Yes... and no. I'm not gay nor bi.
     
  11. For as nice and respectful as I was to her, something inside me said, "You're a guy and you're sposed to fuck her now" and another part of me said, "I can't." I got kinda sad after this, and she may have noticed my distance the morning afterwards.

    Again, I'm not as attracted to her as I should be, and that makes it even harder to think that I was such a gentleman that now she's going to like me even more.

    :(

    I could still use some erectile dysfunction advice.
     
  12. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    He has a good point there, too...
    You just might feel like something is wrong, because guys are "SUPPOSED to" be horn dogs 24/7. But, like you said, you are at a point in your life where other things need to be resolved before you can really enjoy yourself in that aspect.

    Ongoing stress is a real sexual downer, too as almost anyone can tell you. So don't add that to your list of things to be stressed out about, honey. ;)
     
  13. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Get rid of stress. Eat better. Exercise more. These are the basics.

    And if you are not attracted to her, why the hell would you have sex with her? Your subconsious must be smarter than you right now :mamoru:
     
  14. Because I'm picky as fuck and need to lighten up and get laid more often. I'm still young. I should be trying out different kinds of ass before I finally settle down.

    ...Another addition to stress would be quiting smoking last Tuesday. Although I do eat well and work out 5 days a week.
     
  15. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :rofl:

    Btw, congrats on quitting smoking!

    And the whole "trying as much ass before I settle down" concept, to me, seems silly... but what the hell do I know. I have only been with 3 before my hubby
     
  16. My plan is to not masturbate for a week and see how good her booty looks this weekend...
     
  17. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :rofl:

    OMG! That was the funniest thing I've heard all day!

    If you don't mind my asking... how many people have you been with? I know a dude who had been with 100+ people, and still wasn't sure he had been with enough to settle.
     
  18. Only two. :hs:

    Goodnight!
     
  19. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Quitting smoking is difficult, I've been there too, just over a year now. :bigthumb: 'Grats, it will be difficult, but very worth it in the end.

    To me it just sounds like you have a concience. Maybe you're just not into pegging as many girls as possible, because you understand there is more to life than that. You may think this due to upbringing, I'm sure my feelings about this are.

    There's really no reason to think that you need to sleep with more people before you settle down. Some people, guys included have only been with thier wife or husband, some only one or two more than that. Some of us regret sleeping with as many or at least some of the people we have in the past. :o

    The real only advice I have about your other perceived problem is talk to your doctor.

    Though I did notice my erections to more full (for lack of a better term) and last longer a few months after I quit smoking. Age probably plays a factory here. I started smoking when I was 16, quit last year at 27, and in that time had some difficulties sustaining an erection sometimes, even when masterbating. Now I last longer while snapping one off, haven't had sex since I quit, so I'm not sure how much that has changed yet. :o :hsugh:
     
  20. Thanks! Anyone else?
     
  21. Ryuu Murakami

    Ryuu Murakami New Member

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    I'd ask if you're on any anti anxiety pills or anti depressants? I was on paxil for about two months and my girlfriend would be next to me naked or even doing things to me and I wouldn't feel anything at all. Just a possibility
     
  22. Kozzy McKoz

    Kozzy McKoz OT Supporter

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    Viagra

    I took that and literally had an erection for 2 hours.
     
  23. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Um, a 2 hour erection would suck! :ugh:
     
  24. Kozzy McKoz

    Kozzy McKoz OT Supporter

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    Yes, it got annoying
     
  25. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    Would a doctor prescribe Viagra to someone in their 20s?
     

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