LGBT I have a question for you guys/girls....

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Jacknasty, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    I am not gay, and don't plan on it anytime soon, however, I have never had a problem with it. I do have a question for some of you that are. I hope this doesn't offend anybody in any way, since I have no idea how to get it out.

    Would you want somebody to acknowledge you being a gay person ( I say person to not exclude the few ladies of OT)? Let me explain, I have recently found myself wanting to know more about the gay lifestyle. Not the sex part, but I find myself watching shows on TV and thinking, "They are pretty funny and have excellent fashion sense". Now, I know that TV is not real life and that sounds really stupid, but it's been making me want to have a gay friend. That might sound bad, like I want a pet or something, but it isn't meant that way at all. I am a very open person and have a very open mind. Having a gay friend would never bother me in the slightest.

    Anyway, I guess what I am trying to get at is, if somebody came up to you in a store and asked your opinion on a pair of shoes or something, would you get upset and think "You think I am gay and that's the only reason you asked me?" or would you be friendly about it and try to help (time and mood permitted). Also, if this same person happened to try and strike a conversation with you, and you knew they were not gay, would it bug you? Or, and I know this is getting long and retarded, if you ended up hanging out with this person and later found out that he/she wasn't gay or interested, would you get upset and not want to talk them anymore?

    I know there have been times that you guys have talked about a guy and then gotten upset when they told you that they weren't gay. That's kind of where this came from.

    Sorry for the length and the crazy run on sentences. I still don't think I explained myself very well, but I tried. I understand that everybody wants to be treated equally, but want to make sure that I wouldn't offend anybody if I tried to talk to them. :noes:
     
  2. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    I forgot to add that I live in a beach community, yet there are still a lot of rednecks around here. So, the openness is normally not welcomed by a lot of people around here (mostly straight, redneck men). So, I could understand the hesitation or reluctance for people in this area. Just looking for a thought on all of this
     
  3. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Homosexuality is never something you plan on.:o

    I'll be your lil pet. As long as you promise to feed me, take care of me, and "stroke my fur" every now and then, I'll promise not to pee on your carpets and shit on your front steps. :mamoru: :mamoru:

    Of course I'd get upset. I'd grab the shoes out of the person's hand, slap them upside the head and say: "Honnnnnnneyyyy! What the fuck were you thinking when you picked out thessssssssse sssssssssssshoessssssssss!?" And give them a big Z:mamoru:
     
  4. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    Ok...now that I got the humor out of the way, and I've stopped laughing at myself (if you can't humor yourself, who can you humor? :mamoru: )..

    In answer to your questions, no, I wouldn't get upset if someone asked me for fashion advice. I wouldn't wonder if they were questioning my sexuality or not. It's just something that wouldn't even phase me, or enter my mind.
    Would I want someone to acknowledge that I'm gay? That depends on who the person is and what the situation is. In most cases, I don't care. In some cases, I do. It all depends upon the circumstances. If someone has the balls to ask me if I'm gay, I won't deny it unless my life is in danger.

    If I hung out with a person that wasn't gay, or thought they were and found out later that they were not - it doesn't really matter. It doesn't change anything for me. I have gay and straight friends. Some of the straight friends know, most do not. My sexuality is not a topic of conversation, and if they feel the need to ask me, then I may or may not tell them the truth.

    If I hang out with someone that I believe is gay - that I'm attracted to, and want to pursue, and they were to tell me, they are not gay - no big deal. I would respect that and keep the relationship on a platonic level that would go no further.

    As for the gays that get upset when they find out someone is not gay, that's usually due to a level of caddiness in my opinion. Some gays are caddy, others are not. Same with straight people. It's no different.
     
  5. coma

    coma New Member

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    Yes I would get upset if you wanted my advice because you perceive that I'm gay. In fact, I dropped a "girlfriend" because it was quite evident to me that she wanted to be my so-called fag-hag and saw it as fashionable to be so, even though she was a great girl otherwise.
    P.S.: As NOVAJock's says, you aren't in any danger of "planning" to turn gay any more than a gay person can "plan" to be str8. :ugh: :uh:
     
  6. ronrayner

    ronrayner New Member

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    heh, jack, i use to live in ft. walton about 6-8 yrs ago, i definately know your whole thoughts on the redneck men there, but my ex girlfriends sister was gay, and it always amazed me at what a big gay culture destin/f.w.b/pensacola have, man if you drive over to the island at night go stop by frankly scarlets or whatever they named it now, its at the foot of brooks bridge....if ya dont want to walk into the only gay club in a redneck town, jus hang out across the street at coasters, i think its coasters, its not the one with the purple neons, its the lil hole in the wall right across from scarlets, they all go in there after they close down scarlets and mingle with the straights, i saw this fine ass tall chic in there one night who was straight male, surprised me.....

    anyway, how long ya been in destin? you go to school there? how old are ya?
     
  7. Ferron

    Ferron So yes, I'll see you there.

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    I wouldn't be offended at all. I would take it as a compliment that you wanted my opinion on something. Warning, it may (I say may) come off as flirting.

    I think there is also a difference between wanting a token "gay" friend and wanting to find a gay person to be your friend. It's kind of an odd thought process, but I commend you for your effort to embrace diversity. (Also, gay people aren't that different from heterosexuals. We just always have more fun:mamoru: )
     
  8. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    Thank you for you response. I told you it wouldn't come out right :)
     
  9. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    I was joking when I said that about "I don't plan on it". Sorry if it wasn't funny
     
  10. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    This post made me laugh my ass off. You'll know why in a second. First, Frankly Scarlett's is closed now. My fiance used to hang out there all the time, since most of her friends were gay females, but I never had the chance to go.

    Now, to the funny part (funny to me). My boss owns Coaster's and if he heard your comment, even though he knows it is true, he would probably shit himself. He knows that gays frequent his bar, but I don't think that he knows about it being publicized. I find this humerous and again, apologize if nobody else does. He is a very heterosexual male


    I've lived here since 1983. Went to school here until college, then moved back. I love this town, but it is very small. I am 27 now. I went to Choctawhatchee High School (class of 1995) and my fiance went Fort Walton Beach High School
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2005
  11. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    I in no way intended that to mean that I wanted a "token" gay friend. My quest has more to do with always being the "jock" type and always having very homo-phobic friends. I have never felt that way and I don't want people to think that of me. I know that still sounds wrong, but I accept everybody for who they are, unless they are a complete idiot that I don't want to be around (which has nothing to do with sexual preference).


    I don't think there is anyway to properly explain what I was trying to ask in my first post. I was just making sure that if I tried to make friends with a gay male, that I wouldn't get bitch slapped or generalized into that "fag hag" ideal.

    Yes, there are numerous gay men and women in Pensacola and Navarre. However, most don't make it known around here unless they have a couple hundred other gays to back them up. I don't like that and want to find ways for this small town to open up and accept it. That sounds like I am on a damn crusade



    I'm going to stop trying to explain now that I have made a complete ass of myself. :wtc:
     
  12. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...knowing where you are coming from alters my reaction/thoughts/feelings. If a random man came up to me in the manner you stated above, I would assume he's either DL or curious...not looking for a friend. But that is just because that is what my experiences have taught me. But I would probably still 'play along' and let the scenario run its course. Having read your apparent intentions, I don't a problem with your getting a gay friend. Like a therapist, or a good dog/cat, everyone should have a gay. ;)
     
  13. coma

    coma New Member

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    But it was funny, certainly no offense taken.:o
    Add BTW, I've been to FL and I';ve found it to be very accepting(/liberal) of gay people.
     
  14. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I forgot about that part of the question, as no one EVER questions my sexuality....:mamoru:
     
  15. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    Would it bother you if, at some point in the conversation, I invited you to dinner with my fiance and I and told you to bring "somebody"? That's what I am getting at. How do approach a friendship with somebody who thinks that you have ulterior motives?
     
  16. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    Yeah, certain parts are great. We are located right under Georgia and right next to Alabama. Lot of red around the collar up here in the Panhandle :x:
     
  17. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...you hav not made a complete ass of yourself. Actually, your slight shyness in posting/not-wanting-to-offend is kinda cute. But toss that shit. You'll find us to have thicker skins than most, and if we detect a slight, we'll address it and move on. And you have not presented anything to address yet... ;)
     
  18. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    Thank you and I appreciate your candidness
     
  19. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    Well....I'm not most people. After I got hired in my current position, my boss turned to me and commented something like 'I've been looking for a new gay; I had a roommate in college who was queer, and he was fun. We have fallen out of touch. You'll be my new fag-friend...'

    :mamoru: I died in laughter. Some would have gotten really offended.
     
  20. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    :rofl: I'm not that crude
     
  21. Ferron

    Ferron So yes, I'll see you there.

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    I understood, and was giving my blessing. I was saying looking for a token gay friend was wrong and I don't think that's what you are doing.

    Good luck. Just go to the Gay. They will welcome you.:mamoru:
     
  22. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    :rofl: :bowdown: Thank you
     
  23. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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  24. BalkanBabe

    BalkanBabe Guest

    who gives a shit what others find acceptable... the only acceptance you need is from yourself.. you have to learn how to feel comfy and how to feel good in your skin...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2005
  25. Jacknasty

    Jacknasty New Member

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    I'm fine with myself. I'm not really sure where you are getting at here, but I'm okay. :) I'm not looking for community acceptance. I was trying to make sure I wouldn't get bitch slapped if I tried to be friends with a gay guy. ;)
     

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