SRS I have a Problem...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by nost, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. nost

    nost New Member

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    ill try to keep this short....

    As senior year of highschool was comming to an end, I met a really great girl and we became pretty good friends and we even went to prom together. Little did she know i was falling for her and eventually i decided to "ask her out". well as you can imagine she said she just wanted to be friends.

    That was almost 2 years ago and sadly I still have pretty strong feelings for her and since then she has move to the Netherlands (where shes from) to go to school there. the whole situation has been very hard on me, but you'd think her living on a different continent would be enough to get over her...but it didnt happen. we've had very deep discussions about the whole situation and shes been very understanding and caring about it. shes even admitted that she wouldnt take interest in some guys because she didnt think they'd care about her as much as i do (odd?) and she said if things were different we could be together...which was nice to hear but really didnt help much as she'll be over there for the next 3 years and only comes home for christmas and part of the summer break.

    People say that the best thing to do is to simply cut her out of my life until im over her. but thats has prooved very difficult as im also good friends with her brother and my parents are friends with her parents and ill soon be working for her dad.

    About two months ago me and her got into a fight (about an unrelated topic) and we didnt speak for about 4 weeks. During which time i was very angry with her and was so sure i was over her. but wouldnt you know it, my feelings for her came back and now i dont know what to do. I really care about her and she means a lot to me and sometimes i wonder if im in love with her, but i know i need to get over her, but i really dont know what to do anymore.



    Any advice would be much apreshiated.
     
  2. mrj

    mrj New Member

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    She's in the netherlands for 3 years. You're young. Enjoy life, if she comes for summer, enjoy time with her but know that she's going to leave you again.

    Be mature about it. Your future is #1 to you, her future is #1 to her. I'm speaking of education/career. Don't give up something or force decisions that would change these things over a relationship - because relationships end, and if you've made all of these changes based on a relationship, and wind up only having that relationship, you've got nothing when its over.
     
  3. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Sounds like she's trying to string you along

    she said if things were different we could be together

    sorry thats a load of bullshit...you're too young to be obsessing over 1 girl the only way to get over her is see what else is out there
     
  4. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    yeah, girls say that all the time. it really is nothing more than an attempt to spare your feelings. again, you're too young to be obsessing like this. you should just try to move on past those feelings.

    something similar happened to me (as well as a ton of other guys i'm sure) but in the end, among other things, i realized that i was putting her on a pedestal and exaggerating how compatible we were. just b/c y'all are close, doesnt mean you're meant for each other. your feelings might be influencing how you see her, and in turn why you like her.

    i suggest you get over her. realistically, if y'all started dating now, do you think it would actually turn into something "big" (i'm talking like marriage potential)? going by your approximate age, i'd say no, simply b/c y'all are still too young to really know what you want. date around a little, or just get to know other (types of) girls. for all you know, you could be pigeonholing yourself to your friend just b/c you're not expanding your horizons.

    and if you want to get over her, you have to cut her out of your life somehow (not completely, you don't want the friendship to die). another option would be to focus on all her negatives or things she does that annoy you. i dont necessarily approve of this, but it worked for me. it helped me see that she had flaws, and it allowed me to accept them instead of completely ignoring them like when i was crushing on her.
     
  5. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I kind of agree. It sounds like you're her back up in case she doesn't find anyone better...Get on with your life. There are other girls out there. Even if right now it doesn't seem that way. It's hard, but eventually, you will find someone else. :hs:
     
  6. MaiMai

    MaiMai New Member

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    :uh: Why do you people do this to themself? If someone is not into you, why are you wasting your time? She's not the only female on this planet. There's more fish in the sea!!:ugh: I never seem to understand why guys place themself in the friends zone hoping the girl would see what a GREAT guy he is and change her mind... The truth is she does! :hug:but the ATTRACTION is not there!!

    It is what it is. If she's not attracted to you, she's not attracted to you.

    Don't try to be someone else; it’s much easier to be improving who you are then trying to be someone else. Find someone who likes you for who you are. It just means she's not the right one for you. If getting more money, a better job or new clothes suddenly makes a woman who wasn't interested before more interested... it probably won't last.

    That's not to say that improving yourself is a bad thing- looking nice and having a decent job will help overall! But doing it to impress one specific someone probably won't work.


    If she likes you as a friend, romantic stuff is just "isn't that nice."

    You can't make her want to sleep with you by telling her how pretty she looks today, bringing her lunch when she has to work through, or getting her flowers on her birthday. This will make you the "sweetest friend ever" but she's still not going to do you. Don’t try to be her friend and hope she will see what a good guy you are. She already know that you are…but the attraction isn’t there.


    STOP wasting your time!


     
  7. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    Like everyone else says... move on.
     
  8. SiegHeil!

    SiegHeil! New Member

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    Get over it. if you try to be friends with her your old feeling will come up. That is to say that you don't completely ignore her but try to remain distance without burning that bridge.
     
  9. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Yeah dude, move on. Besides, she's gonna be in the Netherlands for the next 3 years.

    That means she's gonna wind up getting used, abused, and probably get a job in a bondage parlor. :big grin:
     
  10. MaiMai

    MaiMai New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  11. nost

    nost New Member

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    shoe store actually :p

    I understand what you guys have said. I know that i need to move on and im trying, its just proven to be very difficult for me to accomplish.
     
  12. MaiMai

    MaiMai New Member

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    Nost.. why it is difficult? are you scared that you can't find someone like her?
     
  13. nost

    nost New Member

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    that is probably part of it.

    me and her have been through a lot and we are very close and i know that it doesnt mean we are meant to be togethor. it just makes its hard to get over her, eventhought i want to get over her.

    she also happens to be very beautiful lol
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2007
  14. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Women are a dime a dozen, man.

    Beautiful women are a quarter a dozen :)

    Hamilton has lots of tail running around. You'll find someone new.
     
  15. MaiMai

    MaiMai New Member

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    I"m sure she is beautiful and their are many reason you love about her. But she doesn't feel the same way toward you or else she would have been more than just friend.. I'm sure she care alot about you as a friend would and should. Whether you want to get over her or just continue the cycle it's up to you.. still come down to your CHOICES. so if you can't get over her is because you choosing not to get over her..
     
  16. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    you just hafta remind yourself that there are other girls out there and even though you want this one and dont want any others (believe me im in the same posistion still dont know what to do next) sometimes you just hafta let go PM me if u need more advice
     
  17. nost

    nost New Member

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    well then you should know its a lot easier said then done

    but thx tho, ill keep that in mind
     
  18. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    o yes do i ever i liked this one girl for 2 years on another one now i think shes the one neways keep me/us updated
     
  19. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    update?
     
  20. sxycdnbrat

    sxycdnbrat New Member

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    move on, you'll find someone who is better for you...

    (PS what HS in Hamilton do/did you go to? I'm from the Hammer as well...)
     
  21. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I'll be in Hamilton next month.

    Where are all the damn good places to go meet chicks? haha
     
  22. sxycdnbrat

    sxycdnbrat New Member

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    Hess Village = teh awesome
    barangas on the beach is ok as well
     
  23. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    OK cool. I'm newly single so I'm going to be out doing as much as I can.

    My time is going to wind up divided by Kingston / Toronto / Montreal and Hamilton/St Kitts areas. Damn I'm going to be doing a lot of driving.
     
  24. sxycdnbrat

    sxycdnbrat New Member

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    st kitts sucks for the bar scene IMO
     
  25. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    update?
     

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