SRS I have a problem with intimacy. v. possible current g/f

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ivandrago, Mar 5, 2006.

  1. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    I finally realized it. I'm not a virgin though, i've been with 4 women. I realize that's not a lot by OTs standards, but that's just me. The probelm was that over the last 4 years, i've had two g/fs that both had big initmacy issues. One was with a guy for 4 years almost and they never went past kissing. I was with her on and off for about a year or so. And she was a virgin when we started dating, and she was a virign when we broke up.
    2nd g/f i had i dated for about 7 months, and she was a virgin as well, and we never slept with each other either. After 7 months we ended it. NOt That i didn't want to, but she wanted to wait for the right time, so i gave her space and time. It never happened. Between having those two g/fs, i slept with one other person. I never cheated on them ,never went outside the relationship.

    Now, the current problem. I'm going out with this really awesome girl. We've been on several dates, and i think she's starting to question why i haven't made a move on her besides kissing her. Why? well because we were out today, drinking and listening to some blues, and we're talking about each other, and she asks me "Aare you a goody two shoes?" That kind of made me suspect that she might be questioning whether i'll make a move on her at all. Do i want to? oh yes. she's a great girl, she's really sweet, and she's beautiful. For example, we were in here apt. one night, watching a movie, and it was hard enough for me to start kissing her, let alone make any other moves on her. It seems like after my last two g/fs, i have a block against it or something. Maybe it's lack of confidence, maybe it's lack of experience, maybe it's something else, i dont' know.

    But i do need advice, and definitely a LITTLE help. i don't want to lose my chances (for a good relationship) with this new girl.
     
  2. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    pull your dick out of your pants and wave it in her face, that outta calm your anxiety!!
     
  3. UNvisible

    UNvisible New Member

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    I feel a ban coming on.:mamoru:


    Anyway man, I think the best thing you could do is either just sack up, and try something... or maybe try and get her to question you about your past relationships, so then she'll understand what you're affraid of...
     
  4. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    Yeah. YOu're right. But at hte same time i don't want to seem like a complete loooooser to her. I dont' want to turn her away completely with that type of a conversation.
     
  5. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You've only been on a few dates, what's the big hurry? Just tell her you want to take things slow and get to know her better first.
     
  6. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    I'm just curious as to why she asked me that question and what exactly led up to it. :dunno: I don't want to come off as a goody two shoes that's for sure.
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Is she slutty?
     
  8. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

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    it's probably that the fact you're in a new relationship makes you feel more inhibited.... more vulnerable in a sense. I think you have to be in the right mind state to make any moves, feel comfortable, etc... but my advice to you regarding that would be to just relax... and don't force yourself to make any moves if you're not feeling it, and are only compelled by her wanting you to.. just go with it, go with what you feel and you'll be okay. There's nothing wrong with you, it just takes a little time.
     
  9. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    No. I dont' think so. She seems like a good person, she's just shy somewhat. At least that's what her friends told me. :o
     
  10. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    I just dont know if i should open up to her in terms of my past relationships or not. We haven't really talked about our past relationships.
     
  11. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

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    well that all depends on what exactly might have happened in the past, if you feel it's important to tell her, or you want to, then you should.. sit down with a cup of coffee/tea & bring it up as a topic of conversation...
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Are you sure that comment was in reference to sex then? Maybe she was asking if you are a goody two shoes in reference to partying or school. Or maybe she was just trying to find out if you were a virgin or not if you haven't talked about that yet.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I wouldn't make an effort to bring it up out of nowhere but conversations just tend to go there naturally at some point so when it does, you can talk about it then.
     
  14. Ivandrago

    Ivandrago I must break you.

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    Thta's the dilemma. I'm not sure why that comment was made. When i asked her why she asked, she was like "don't worry abotu it." :o
     
  15. chiisu

    chiisu New Member

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    So go for it. Girl I've started to see has already said that if I'm feeling it, just to go with it. Action will be coming very soon. :big grin: I've had intimacy problems w/ past GF's, but I'm not gonna fucking sit around and wait this time.
     

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