SRS I have a problem: I see women only as material objects

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Filmboy44, Mar 23, 2005.

  1. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest

    I dont know where to start, but I have screwed myself over time and tiem again because I treat/act and think of women as material objects. I'm trying my best to change this but I think it has to do with a protection and sheltering issue I have because of broken hearts in the past. I can admit that I don't want to be hurt anymore and I am putting up this kind of guard to protect myself.

    However, I'm trying to "get back out there" and talk to women and go on dates. However, it all goes to shit because of my attitude. Don't get me wrong, I'm very polite and good company on the dates, but my thoughts keep me from actually furthering the dating progress.

    The thing is...I don't want to talk, I don't want to "spend time" I dont want any of that...:sad2: I don't further these dates because of that. I think I wan to but when I get there I get bored really quickly and lose interest fast.

    Also, not only will I get bored quickly, I will nit-pick at their every fault and judge them based upon appearance before I even get to know their personality :wtc: I'm trying my best to reverse this...

    anyone else have this problem or am I the only scum here :sadwavey:
     
  2. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Think of women as your friend before your cum receptacle.
     
  3. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest

    I can't...I've tried
     
  4. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Try try again?

    Do you have any female friends?
     
  5. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest

    No. I don't.

    why would I?
     
  6. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Same reason you would have any friend.
    Have you ever had a female friend?
     
  7. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest


    no, if I want a friend I'll call my guy friends. Please don't turn this into an arguement of how men and women can't be "just friends"


    I have never had a female friend...I don't count sister-in-laws, business people I will hang out with
     
  8. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Active Member

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    justin trust me ive had this problem..........i think you just have to meet THE ONE........where nothing matters, all the little shit doesnt matter at all.......you are just in the zone with her.......and it turns into something special. trust me i was so bad at all that you just said, i looked at girls as trophies.
     
  9. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest


    nicely put. So you think that I should keep trying? :sad2:
     
  10. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    You made note in another thread of turning away women because of a little intrest.
    You must believe in love at first sight not to give them a decent chance to make an impression.
     
  11. AO

    AO New Member

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    Are you looking for a woman who won't put up with your sh**?
    Are you acting like a hard a** as a test?

    You've been hurt - is that any reason to hurt every woman you meet? So you're still in love with someone from the past? It would seem you need closure. Or you need to fall in love so that you can forget your past pains. But is acting like an a** anyway to attract a woman?

    Men & women have been hurt by love for ages. The greater the love the greater the pain. Someone is bound to carry a flame after a hard breakup. If you keep carrying the flame you will only keep burning yourself - you are poisoning your being. By being abusive you will attract an abusive woman. Two posions can't mix.

    Try a different tack - tell them that you have been hurt right from the start. You might find them more sympathetic and understanding. You need time to heal.


     
  12. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Active Member

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    thats all you can do man. hang in there its tough.
     
  13. Filmboy44

    Filmboy44 Guest

    no, I'm not being an "asshole" if you read my original post you'd see that I'm not being an asshole

    I'm not looking for closure either...thats been said and done long time ago and I haven't looked back in a long time
     
  14. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    I think you just have not met the right woman that satisfies YOUR needs. You need to look closly at a woman. You said you start picking at their faults and apperance when you are not intrested in the date due to it being so boring. Why not try to go to a enviroment you feel comfortable in and have the date their. Such as if you like pool go to a pool hall. If you go to a movie, it is not the same as a hang out. Take her with you when you hang with your guy friends. That might sound akward, but if you are around a background or a group of people you feel comfortable in, the results tend to be a little higher then if you were to go to a restaurant to eat. Good Luck with this. You are not a asswhole. I use to be the same way with men, and until you just start out as friends, which you said would be hard because you have never had a friend as a girl, it will be hard to establish a relationship. :)
     
  15. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Trust is gained over a matter of time. Don't go into a relationship thinking it will work out just because it concerns you, and always take in mind that a girl can pack her bags and leave at anytime they want' BUT , that doesn't mean they aren't human, and that they don't deserve to be loved. You don't have to see girls as objects, they are human just as much as you are. I think however that , a relationship is an 'investment' , something you build up. You start from scratch and you build on a base of fundation of mutual love for eachother. Every building can collapse, but if you build your house on stone instead of sand , and understand that every action you take in life has certain 'risks' to it. Then you might be able to build something good, reasonable trustworthy, and if you keep remaining aware and stay defensive for incoming impacts (missles towards the heart) then at least you are prepared for it. Therefore , especially in the beginning of the relationship, you should be prepared for another blow against your heart. Don't worry however, try to see it different, every girl you get gives you dating experience, so it's always a win win situation. If she quits then you know you can move on with your life, if she says yes then you can have a great time, and truelly devellop loving feelings for her as a human being as she proves to be trustworthy over time, and loves you back like you love her. :wavey:
     

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