SRS I have a hard time trusting people

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by amac88, May 29, 2008.

  1. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Especially in relationships. It all started when I met my ex, well call her A. At first, we got along great, could see us together a long time, no problems at all. Then, I slowly discovered that all she wanted was a kid. She didnt care about me, the relationship, or anything. Soon after, I found out she had cheated on me, maybe even with more than one guy. This ruined my view of relationships. My current g/f and I get along great, I feel like she is the first person to actually care about me, she has proven this again and again. She even promised to stay with me after finding out my ex was pregnant, saying that "no matter what happens I want you to promise that we will stay together". I did, we both really want to be with each other. However, I cant help but think that she too has some "alternate reason". I very seriously doubt it, but the thought is just there.

    She is totally different from my ex, she hates drama (A loved to create it), she has a much simpler life (doesnt party, drink, smoke, or anything), and is basically the female version of me. We have the same beliefs about relationships, believe that cheating is never acceptable, and we are both good at working out problems, we have never actually "fought" about anything. Gotten upset? Yes. But we always are able to find some solution. Still, how can I be 100% sure she truly cares about me and loves me like I do her? I dont really know how to explain it, I know she does, as she said "If I didnt truly love and care about you, I would have hung up the phone after you told me" about my ex being pregnant. That right there helped ease my fears alot. Still, what can I do to keep her attracted and into the relationship?

    Just so you know, I havent let on to her about this, I dont want to seem like Im afraid to lose her or anything. Just the opposite in fact, she is afraid of losing me, though Ive assured her that as long as she stays committed, Im not goin anywhere.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
  2. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    Do you know if it is your child or not?

    EDIT: Make sure that you keep your fears and worries to yourself. I used to ALWAYS ask if my ex loved me and had feelings for ANYBODY else and it ended up pushing her away. I live by "Regret nothing, Never forget, Always forgive" and i trust EVERY girl that I meet in the first place as they have not shown me any reason for them to NOT be trusted. I am a very needy person though. Just watch your feelings and emotions. Everyone gets cheated on at some point and your future is what you make of it. I have dated over 30+ girls and i'm only 21. I have been cheated on in at least 25 of those relationships due to my own insecurity. Trust until tust is not worthy. Do not snoop and let the obvious tell you the truth. Give her everything you have and offer her the world. Make sure that you are completely yourself and she should have absolutely NO reason to treat you bad OR cheat on you. If she does, it was not worth it and you can walk away from it with your head held high. Be strong man. Insecurity is a bitch but so our taxes but you know what? We all have to fuckin deal with it so sit down, pay up and love your fucking life for what it is worth.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
  3. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    Theres a good chance its not, I told my gf this, she said "no matter what happens we will get through it together, we have to".
     
  4. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    read my ninja edit -my bad
     
  5. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Keep on going?

    I mean what can we do, just give up and die thinking there are no trustworthy women on earth?
     
  6. skych

    skych New Member

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    if she says she loves you now, then you don't have to DO anything to keep her attracted, just continue being yourself.

    yeah, it's extremely hard to trust anyone after being cheated on, but she hasn't given you ANY reason not to trust her. just leave it at that and hope for the best.

    there's really nothing you can do to prevent her cheating/losing interest/you losing interest, sometimes these things happen. just take things as they come, enjoy the good times you have and don't waste them worrying about what COULD happen

    :learning to take my own advice: :mamoru:
     
  7. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    .

    Based on the fact you are CONSTANTLY worried about how she feels about you and is constantly worried about losing you, you're doing everything right.

    Do not settle. Do not feel comfortable with her and let your guard down.

    The moment you let your guard down [ something explicit here but it's unsuitable for this forum.]
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2008
  8. amac88

    amac88 New Member

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    UPDATE-

    I figured I would update yall on this...I happened to make that post on May 29th, 2008. Our wedding date is May 29th, 2010. Over a year after the original posting, me and Tiffany, the same girl I talked about earlier, are still together and getting married next year. We have been through so much (first post was just the start but weve made it past alot), and cant wait to live life. I finally found the right person, and to everyone else out there looking for the "one" who wants a real honest relationship, he/she IS out there, they may not be the hottest or richest, or whatever, but they will always be there with you.
     

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