I have a girlfriend problem.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Diesel Fumes, May 22, 2006.

  1. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    It's really quite embarassing to talk about this, but here goes....

    I met a girl two months back. She led me on from the beginning. It caused me problems in the past, but I went along with it. Well, long story short, she has become a significant part of my life in just two months. We do lots together, we enjoy our time together, sex is great, yadda.

    About 4 days ago she started to act real strange. I thought she was just on her period or something. I can usually pick out signs during sex which are obvious. She started talking about this guy she used to date and how she still has feelings for him. Yeah, thats fine. I told her long ago that I didn't care if she even dated other guys. If she wanted to be with me, she would make her decision. And now she told me tonight that she thought we would function better as friends. I told her that wasn't an option as I still had feelings for her. At the same time she claims that she doesn't want to lose me either. She still wants to be my girlfriend. Instead of making this part of the story long I will just shorten it by saying that she confuses the living shit out of me sometimes.

    Im an informed guy when it comes to dating. I know all the signs that a girl isn't interested, but I don't see them all in her. I respect and understand that she has a confusing life and doesn't really know what she wants. I've dated a lot of girls and know what I want in a partner and I know I really like this girl but I can't quite explain it in a way that she would understand.

    Do I abort or try to work it out? Im trying to give her space right now and if she wants to call me and do something, she has my number.
     
  2. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    She sounds like a waste of time. It's time to move on. She doesn't want to lose you, and she wants to be your girlfriend, yet she isn't AKA she likes the attention.
     
  3. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    she wants her cake and to eat it too. in other words, she'd like to be yours and the other guy's girlfriend and for both of you to go along with it.

    you want to play second fiddle all the time? that's what she's setting you up for.
     
  4. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    :werd:

    You know that when she talks about other guys it's because she's losing interest. Give her the gift of missing you like you're doing. Don't call her.

    Me? I'd move on as soon as any woman started talking about some other guy.
     
  5. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    she called me over to talk today. She seemed real down. Told me that last night she had time to think and says that she doesn't want to lose me. She says she has a lot on her plate for a 19 y/o. She told me the qualities that she likes in me and the ones she doesn't like. She chuckled about the ones that she didn't like and was glad that I was comfortable enough to act myself around her. THe whole conversation had a depressing but satisfying feeling to it.

    I want to regain the upper hand in this relationship. It seems strange, but I enjoy the fact that she doesn't have her shit together in life yet. I even asked her if she was ready for dating at all and she claimed it was a tough question.

    Any thoughts on this?
     
  6. GTSlow

    GTSlow New Member

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    If she was really interested in you she wouldn't be having a "things she likes vs. things she hates" dillema. Secondly, she wouldn't worry about whether "she was ready for dating at all". Personally I think you should cut your losses and seek out a chick that is crazy about you.
     
  7. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    word. my last relationship started out like that. she liked another guy but in the end she chose me. went out for about a year and a half, was great.
     
  8. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Tell her that when she figures it out she can contact you. Don't get sucked into her drama, especially with such a young girl.
     
  9. aguban

    aguban Z

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    I'm going through this same type of deal, exactly. She didn't want to lose me, but has feelings for another guy. I told her to call ME when she wants to and I have no problem with her seeing this guy ( I care about her too much, really) to find out what she wants. She ended up calling me 20 minutes later saying she can't imagine not being with me. That was about a week ago and to be honest, I've been a mess lately. She has a problem calling still...I don't know what to do. :hs:
     
  10. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    Thats what I told her and then she called me back and asked me to talk. I know im falling into her drama. It feels like a trap to me in a way and I just can't change my thoughts about it.

    aguban, yes, your story is much like mine. I know in a perfect world where every guy was a dating master, I could just comfortably forget about her and find a new girl that I got along better with, but I like the pitfalls of a relationship. I think its what makes us "relate" to each other better. I have a problem calling her now because in the past that has usually caused a girl to lose interest in me if I were the one trying to patch it up. I know I just got to stay cool and focus on my own life and not let it bother me that we are not exactly on perfect terms. I guess I could be playing hard to get now?

    Sometimes I understand why some middle-east countries just have arranged marriages. Girls are all the same to me really. I don't mean that in a negative manner, but they pretty much all think the same and require the same effort to get them to fall in love with you.
     
  11. pholom

    pholom New Member

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    just move on... your still young.

    I was in the same situation not to long ago.. hurt alot for the first couple days, but finnaly got over it. We still talk, just not as close. Were basicly friends still..but im dating around.
     
  12. Cthalupa

    Cthalupa New Member

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    Life's too short to waste time on stupid drama like this. Tell her that once she's come to a REAL decision, she can call you, and you'll talk about hooking back up then. In the mean time, don't stop yourself from moving on. Check around for other possible love interests. IF she decides what she wants, and IF you're still available, and IF you truly believe she knows what she wants, talk about it. Otherwise, move on.
     
  13. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    i say give her time but don't sit around waiting for her either. she may have a lot on her plate which a lot of people do but i've learned from the past nott o let that interfere with my relationship
     
  14. hom3lesshom3boy

    hom3lesshom3boy New Member

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    zomg :wtc: this is me (or was me).
     
  15. uneek

    uneek OT Supporter

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    except for the other guy, this sounds like my ex girlfriend.

    if the similarity continues, she will find pleanty to dislike in you but she won't share it, she'll just ambush you with it rather than put stuff on the table, all the while claiming things are better.

    I don't know if it's denial, wishful thinking, or just ignorance but imo bottom line is that if she's like my ex it isn't really things you're doing that upset her, it's that she just doesn't have much in the way of feelings for you. with mine, I didn't really have feelings for her either, it was just mutually wanting to be with someone who seemed like a good catch. It doesn't sound like that's your situation but the rest sounds very similar.
     
  16. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    The reason that every guy has an experience like this is because it is part of the basic female evolutionary program to find the ideal mate. It DOES feel like a trap because it is. They test and test and test and it never stops.

    The correct response in this situation is "Whoah whoah STOP. I told you to call me when you had it figured out. Do you? No? Bye." CLICK.
     

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