Well it finally hit me tonight, I've definitely been in denial about it for a while now but my 22nd birthday was last week and I went a little overboard with the drinking, didn't hurt myself or anyone else but my friends were good enough to host a party for me anyway I damaged some property (which I'm already set to pay for). But I am just beyond embarrassed about my behavior. I still just can't believe it though and don't know who I can talk to about this, I guess AA would be a logical place to start but I don't know I just don't feel like AA is for me, so for the time being just venting about it here sounds like a good start. I just feel lost right now though, I feel sick to my stomach because I now see what others have been telling me for a while which is that I drink too much, I might need help. I now realize that I do. I don't necessarily want to quit drinking but I need to get this problem under control and I'm not sure if that's even possible, for all I know I'll always be this way. My problem isn't so much wanting to drink all the time but when I do drink I just go way overboard, I've drank myself to blacking out multiple times, last year I even missed two months of work after falling down stairs and breaking my ankle. Anyone who has gone through this before what am I looking at? Will I need to give up alcohol for good or is it possible through help to just get a problem like this under control to where I'll be able to go to a party and drink at a moderate pace instead of singlehandedly trying to drain a keg as quick as possible. I enjoy drinking, I like the feeling of having a buzz but I can't stop myself once I get to that point I just keep going and going and then wake up the next day with no recollection of what happened for periods of time.