SRS I have a date this weekend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by minkajane, Nov 20, 2006.

  1. minkajane

    minkajane New Member

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    Wish me luck! I'm not even divorced yet - my husband only moved out last week. But we haven't really been married in a year, he's been like this irritating roommate that mooches and never cleans up after himself. So I'm moving on. One of my best friends in the world has adored me since he met me five years ago. I'm really attracted to him too and he's an awesome friend, so we're going to dinner and a movie this weekend. This is the first date I've been on since I was 17 (I'm 23). I need some serious luck here!
     
  2. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Good luck! :bigthumb:
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I feel sad for your friend. You won't believe it, or want to believe it, or even care to hear it. But if you really cared about a serious relationship with your long-time friend, you should wait until you've sorted things out with your husband.

    Yes yes, you say you "haven't been married" for a year now. So you think it's all done? So why haven't you gotten divorced? Moved out? Financial circumstances? Uncontested divorce costs almost nothing.

    Believe me, there will be a lot of anguish when you finally do cut the ties that bound.

    And you don't need any luck. You're really attracted to him. And you're desperate to get away from your husband. You've no need of luck. Your emotional need and his physical need will be overflowing.

    If this sounds like I'm being hard on you, that's because you're not being honest with yourself...but mostly because you're not being fair to your friend.

    If he really does have feelings for you....he's going to be really hurt.

    Are you ready to do that to your adoring friend?
     
  4. minkajane

    minkajane New Member

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    Jeez, it's just a date. It's not like we're getting married.
     
  5. minkajane

    minkajane New Member

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    Oh, I forgot to post an update! Well, the date didn't happen because he promised his grandmother if she wanted to go visit family for Thanksgiving, he'd take her. She ended up deciding to go, so he was out of town all week. I knew this was a possibility when we made the date, so no biggie.

    He's coming to visit me this weekend. Booty call basically. Should be fun. ;)
     
  6. mrpeoplemonster

    mrpeoplemonster New Member

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    I agree with Johan. I dated a friend a week after she broke up with her ex. Things seemed alright, until a month later, when she told me that she wasnt over her ex still, and that he wasnt over her. We eventualy became friends again, but it sucked for along time after that.

    if this guy really likes you, dont mess with his feelings. make sure that there really isnt anything left between you and your husband. that includes a marrage still... if you dont, then there is a good chance that you will hurt your friend more than you can imagine.
     
  7. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Do you enjoy unnecessary drama? Johan is spot on with her recommendations. This date seems like your subconscious is trying to get over your husband by going on a date with another man, and when you got called out on it, you got defensive.

    I would tread very softly.
     
  8. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    Yeah, this is definately not going to be as simple as you expect it to be.
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: You are using him as your rebound guy.
     
  10. Minh Lam

    Minh Lam Active Member

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    Werd sorry to say but Johan is absolutely right.
    You arent being honest to yourself. You are using this guy as a rebound.
    I dont see you having any intention of being with this guy for the long term. Obviously he likes you heaps. You see to like the attention from him as he has been a friend of 5 years.
    Now its just a booty call?

    Perhaps another potential relationship down the drain?

    I say do the right thing. sort out your divorce. Have sometime to rethink your life. Best of luck on that. People here arent being harsh but honestly this is a case of them giving good advice.
     

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