SRS I have a dark fantasy going through my head alot

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by familyguy101, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    in which I am in a relationship with a girl who I love and trust fully. Suddenly, I come home and catch her fucking another guy. Once I get to this point of my fantasy I usually get very angry and imagine myself beating both of them 9/10 to death. Then I live my life never trusting anyone else again. Why the fuck do I have this nightmare? Both of my parents cheated on each other at one point, and it followed through with them physically fighting each other.

    I read a lot of the dating articles in the vaginarium. From what I've learned so far, if you trust a girl she will get bored and move on/cheat. If your too nice/caring to her, she will move on. The reality of dating is that you have to be a cold asshole to women to make them truly fall for you. Is this the way it is? Someone please just point me in the right direction or explain dating/women to me in a realistic manner.

    On a side question: If you did walk in on your girl cheating, do you have the right to beat the guy up for being a raccoon motherfucker and fucking up someones relationship? And then beat the bitch up for being an unfaithful whore? I would have to, there is no way I couldn't.
     
  2. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    god fuck, this sort of shit pisses me off so much that I can't sleep. It's 2am and I'm wide awake and fully pissed off right now.
     
  3. SpectreMatrix

    SpectreMatrix New Member

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    most of the time the guy doesn't even know. But to be perfectly honest,if you want it you have to put yourself out there for that risk.
     
  4. Ivan

    Ivan New Member

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    Do realize that not all women act the same.
    Some women will appreciate that you trust them and others will not.

    Same about being nice and caring.

    As for your nightmare, I can't really know why it happens. I'm no expert in the field.

    As for the side question, I believe violence solves nothing.
     
  5. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    I think you need to experience a relationship before you can even get to contemplating whether or not its okay to "beat the bitch". There's only so much you can learn from articles on the internet about women.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Wow rarely are these things so clearly laid out. Few observations & suggestions:

    1 Not all women cheat.

    2 The guy probably didnt even know

    3 Your fantasy is part of your feeling rejected and emasculated, and your imagined reaction is an attempt to take back your power. Both against the "interloper" the guy, and against women in general, which is why you beat her too.

    As opposed to many guys reactions which is to savage the other guy but to hold the beating in check when it comes to "their" girl.

    You have no girl, so you fantasize about beating them equally, to assert dominance but also to figuratively punish women in general for their perceived part in your lack of dating.





    I really think you should check out therapy. You could really benefit from it, far more than most who visit here.

    This is not an insult or a knock against you.

    If your legs were smashed in a car wreck, I'd tell you to go to an orthopedic surgeon.
    That also is not a knock against you.

    Hell you'd rush to go yourself because physical problems are easy to see.

    Therapy will help you get better, unless you want to pretty much spend the rest of your life living basically how you do now.

    Remember: If nothing changes......nothing changes.


    You CAN improve your life. But not through internet articles in the vag, or thinking or stewing in your room, or waiting for time to pass.
    You have to undergo an experiential process. i.e. THERAPY

    Good luck to you. It can get better. If you want it.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    By the way, your parents history explains perfectly why you have these problems.

    Trauma is transmitted intergenerationally. You really need to see a therapist.
    Unfair you say? Because my parents had major issues, I get saddled with therapy?
    Yeah. Those issues are now your issues.
    On the off chance you manage to hook up and push out a kid, you'll repeat the same pattern as your parents did.
    I'm sure you saw they were unhappy even though they found a mate, married and had a kid.

    So you can see that dating, or lack of a gf isn't the root cause of your problems.
    Not the way you imagine them to be.

    So here's the carrot.
    Go to therapy. Magically, your dating problems will begin to vanish.

    Go.
     
  8. eu4ia

    eu4ia Active Member

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    it seems to be a whole new issue every day with you and it doesnt seem like people in the asylum are really able to help

    at this point i really think you need to look into therapy if you want to sort through your problems and one day be happy
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    All of his issues resolve into the one core issue.
    He merely posts his symptoms, one by one, day by day.

    Therapy is the cure.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    No. It's possible the guy is in the right and didn't even know your gf/wife/SO had a bf/husband in the first place.
     
  11. Jason (Groovy)

    Jason (Groovy) New Member

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    You're most likely having these nightmares because of recent experiences, i.e. your parents situation. What you witness as a child usually goes on to effect you in some way often times small, in the future. However, to be honest not every girl cheats and you should have more faith in your girlfriend, and if it still bothers you, you should try talking to her about it. You asked about how you should behave with a girlfriend, and my response is that you should do what you think is right, some girls react differently than others, but being nice is never a bad thing. On a finishing note, no you do not have the right to beat up the guy that you find with your girlfriend, even though you might want to it's still against the law.
     

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