I hate wimminz

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Drifts180, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    So some background...over the summer i met my friends cousin and her friend. They are both really cute, but i hit it off with the cousin. however she had a bf so it was pretty much just a whole lot of flirting. The semester started and the cousin went off to austin for school, while the friend goes to school with me. i talk/hangout with the friend pretty often during the semester.

    So now, i am out in austin visiting some buddies of mine and the friend of the cousin happenened to be out here visiting my friends cousin too. we all get together the other night and me and the cousin pick up right where we left off except now she doesn't have a bf. so we are flirting all night and when it finally comes down to sneaking away from everyone and having our own fun, she tells me "i'm sorry, my friend has a crush on you...i can't do anything with you tonight".

    WTF? why are you flirting with me all night and telling me all these naughty things and then slam on the brakes like that? So I'm not sure if she is bullshitting me or not about her friend. I havent gotten that signal from the friend over all the time we have hung out. but even after this, she tells me that she wants to hang out with just me one of the nights i'm in town and how she can't wait to do what we were about to and what not. so her friend went back home today, and now she isn't answering my calls. this girl is the biggest tease evAr...:mad:

    /rant
     
  2. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    sucks

    do what main forum would tell you to do?
     
  3. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    rape then spit? nah, i'm still clinging to the chance that it will work out while I'm still here in austin.

    and if not, i'm gonna find out if what she said about the friend is true.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    here's a clue. Do her actions match her words? If she was REALLY concerned about hurting her friend, why would she have flirted with you in the first place?

    Basically, you got shot down. She liked you flirting with her, teasing you, getting you all worked up and all that...but she didn't want to do anything serious with you.

    The whole "my friend has a crush on you" line is a BS excuse.

    I'd forget about her.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Women who are interested in fucking you will do all sorts of crazy things right when the time comes to get to action.

    There are many reasons, some of which have to do with ASD, or anti-slut defense. They want the sex, but because of the slut stigma in our society, they want the sex to be under the right conditions. Like she is going to want to find an excuse she can use later. "I know it wasn't right, but I just got swept away in the moment." etc.

    The main thing to understand is that when she gives you last-minute resistance, she most likely still wants the sex, but she doesn't want it to be "her fault."

    One of the most effective techniques to employ is the freezeout. When she shuts down the physical activity, you shut down her attention. Like if you are making out on the couch and she shuts you down, you immediately become fascinated by something on the computer. You ignore her completely until she comes back to you.

    If she gets upset and leaves, you don't follow her. You tell her goodnight and let her go on her way.

    Or in your case where you part ways right after she shuts you down, YOU DON'T CALL HER. That's rewarding bad behavior right there, and also you are now chasing her which is rarely a good thing.

    Actually, you mentioned she said she wanted to hang out with you, so when did that conversation take place? What happened right after she shut you down?

    Remember guys: Reward the behavior you like and punish the behavior you don't approve of. Never reward bad behavior! If she leads you on then shuts you down, don't reward her bad behavior with a phone call!
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    What I want to know is what did you say to her to "sneak off"? I think that's the key.
     
  7. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    see but i don't have time to be playing these games because i don't even know how much longer i will be in austin. she told me that she still wanted to hang out with me right after the whole thing went down. we both knew her friend was going home the next day, so it made it seem like she just wanted to wait til she was gone. right after she did that, she just kept acting the same way as she had before.

    but whatever, i didn't come out here to play games with girls. i came out here to hang out with my homeboys. you're right though, i shouldn't call her. I'm just gonna forget about it unless she calls and then I'll go from there.
     
  8. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    well it was just me, my friend, her, and her friend. her friend had fallen asleep on the couch and my friend was fine just hanging out watching TV. So the restroom was in her room and I had to go so I told her to go meet me in her room. and she did, but then she told me that.
     
  9. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    well you might be right. and that is why i'm just letting it go unless she does something. i was thinking that the stuff about her friend was BS too. Me and that girl talk every few days and see eachother about once every couple weeks and i have never gotten that vibe from her. hell she adds the word friend to every other sentence she tells me.
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I suspect you moved too fast. As mentioned, she gave you the anti-slut defense. You basically said "flirt, flirt, flirt, let's fuck." It doesn't really work like that unless the woman truly IS a slut (so to speak.)

    Sounds like she's a nice, normal, honorable woman and you simply made her feel like a whore. Now had you asked her on a date instead, gotten to know her a little better, and then on the SECOND date made a move, I think you would have succeeded.

    You may want to check out The Mystery Method. It goes over the whole stages of building comfort, etc., in great detail. I am sure someone else can post a link to a similar resource, I personally don't know of any, that can explain why you need to build a better bond before you move so quickly.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I should add, I don't think there are very many men who could have pulled that off without alcohol involved. I doubt I could have, personally, unless she was giving me some real strong buying signals. Even then, I would *not* have headed to the bedroom, I would have headed OUT of the house for a walk or something. Be a little more of a challenge, less quick to bed her, and you may build her anticipation more. This is teasing in return. Flirt, flirt, flirt, then back up a step and watch her trip all over her feet. :bigthumb:
     
  12. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Poco, I do believe, sir, that you have a cult following here on offtopic.

    :bowdown:
     
  13. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    I see exactly what you are saying. but like i said, i met her last may and we hung out a lot from then to july. so we have built up a pretty decent level of comfort. i mean we flirt with eachother and are close and whatnot in plain view, but during all this there was a "silent" conversation going on in text messages where we were just telling eachother some pretty naughty stuff.

    i really don't know though. i already told myself that i am not going to call her again while i'm here. i am not interested in engaging in a race against time considering anything would have to go down before i decided to head back home. now i'm just wondering if she was telling the truth about her friend. because if she was, i wouldn't mind getting involved in something more serious with the friend.
     
  14. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    :bowdown: :bowdown: Poco is my hero
     
  15. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Still, you have to play like you're not desperate, not interested. You basically have to show that you have self-control - that's the make-or-break emotion for women. It's like acting like you are taken, like you have a GF. The confidence to tell her "No" in a teasing manner basically makes you unlike every other desperate guy who moves too fast. Relax. Slow it down.

    Personally I have found many women who flirt in a naughty style, or talks about sex, with you are *less* likely to have sex with you. My rule has always been "If you want sex, don't talk about it." You can still flirt, but it has to be *sensual* and not sexual. I think she was just being friendly and you took it too far.

    As far as the friend, I never trust anyone telling me that kind of stuff. If the friend was making an effort to talk to you, hang out with you, sit near you, etc., THEN that would be the time I would believe it. Actions speak louder than words, basically.

    Also, you must never talk to women about other women, especially friends, who like you (supposedly.) It's a violation of trust, and the information is usually skewed. Blow it off and pursue it directly from the source (the other girl.)
     
  16. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    I absolutely agree with you on that. Never at any point have I mentioned one to the other. But anyways, I'm gonna wait until I get back home and just get a feel for whats going on with the friend. It's funny, since the time this all went down, the friend (the other girl) has either called or text me everyday since. I haven't talked to the first girl since it happened.
     
  17. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    There may be some truth to this second woman being interested in you. Don't talk about the first girl - ever - and ask her on a date. Take it a little more "smoothly" this time, and who knows what may happen! :bigthumb:

    BTW, her calling/texting you nearly every day is an indicator of interest, but if you don't ask her on a date - just the two of you - she'll grow less interested.
     
  18. Drifts180

    Drifts180 Active Member

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    Oh for sure. I was just kind of interested in hooking up with the first girl seeing as how she lives out of 7.5 hours away. But the other girl lives in the same city as me so I was going to try for something a little more serious with her. I'm definately gonna handle things more "smoothly" with her. thanks for the input
     

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