i hate this double standard

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Rellik, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    i am average to below average looking (by north american Caucasian standards), 5 foot 7.5, dont have an alpha personality, dont have hundreds of bullshit stories and interesting tidbits that seem to be the staple of modern conversation and pickup for us 20 yr olds.. and people judge me on that, like people everywhere do. But at the same time, I get this vibe from my friends like, "anyone can get a girl, thats not the point, its about getting a hot one"

    so basically im fucked by how i look, and im fucked if i get seen walking around with a girl at my level. Swallowing your pride is hard enough, it sucks having to take shit from others too. and anyone that says 'u shouldnt care about what other people think about you' is fucking stupid ;because we didnt develop a trillion dollar fashion and cosmetics industry by accident

    just a rant
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Gotta suck living a boring and mundane life.

    Just figure that anyone who doesn't would at least have a few good stories to share :dunno:
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    and best of all, you get fucked by your perspective.
     
  4. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    1. Who says you're average to below average?
    2. Stories aren't important, being able to participate in a conversation is.
    3. Why are you so concerned with people judging you?
    4. Who gives a fuck whether a girl is hot to your friends. Find a girl who you find attractive and fuck what your friends say. If they're real friends they won't be complete assholes.
     
  5. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    well, i guess you'd be surprised, or maybe you wouldn't. if you spent most of your life studying or working in your "work time", or hanging out or drinking or going out in your "social time", and thats it, then you can imagine that the number of stories that are A. interesting B. make you look good would on the low side. make sense? unless you just start lying, but that wont get you anywhere in the long term
     
  6. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    this is no one's fault but your own. get out there and do something interesting.
     
  7. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    take a chance. do something different.

    scared? that's unattractive.
     
  8. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    Since you're 20, you can easily go fix the problem of having not yet lived an interesting life.

    As for looks... well, god bless women, but they are generally less superficial than men when it comes to physical appearances. Do you go to the gym? Do you try to improve yourself? Do you have other ways of supporting your ego, maybe a hobby or something you're particularly good at? You're being really hard on yourself, and maybe you need to figure out how to make you like the man in the mirror first. The whole notion of being able to love oneself first before seeking love and affection from external sources is definitely true. Just don't go overboard and become one of those delusional people who are butt ugly but think they are as hot as hollywood celebrities, hahaha.

    For a long time, I placed a lot of my ego on the hotness of the girl I could get. That was folly, mostly because i'd end up with girls whom I could show off with at parties, but were not compatible with me in a relationship. At my age, 5 years your senior, i've found that i could give a fuck about what other people think about me, or my relationships.
     
  9. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    1. imo any reasonably aware person is going to have a good idea of what is good looking vs what isn't, from years of interaction and observation...

    2. i really, really dont want to make this a thread about storytelling, but bare with me here... how many times have you been in a social situation, and theres a guy standing in a group of people, making gesticulations, talking about something cool, or funny, or crazy, ending it with a punchline, to laughs or "wows". Its transfixing, and we love it, and makes the person look good, much better than politics or the weather

    3. see OP. if people didn't care about people judging them they would walk around in sweatpants all year and estee lauder would be out of business

    4. in a perfect world
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    :werd:

    The fact that you are worried about judgments of some stupid superficial boys, makes you the same as them. Just be yourself and don't give a shit about what they have to say, find the girls YOU like, the life style YOU decided is good for you. Most of their adventures are ultimately stupid shit anyway, if they had something actually "interesting" to talk about, then you could be worried!
     
  11. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    If your friends are giving you a hard time about dating a girl, just respond with "Are you fucking kidding me? She's a freak in bed. No way I'm giving that shit up."
     
  12. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    im 22 btw

    i do and i do, but i have to disagree. i cannot recall how many times i have been in the company of female friends and see them gossiping or giggling about that hot guy over there. in fact i think its even tougher: guys will fuck anything, girls are programmed to go after the alpha, the best... after all, back in the day, sex meant 9 months of pregnancy and years of child care. you better hope you bet your chips right, etc..


    ok. well? you say all this, but you laugh... :hsd:
     
  13. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Seems like you are just making a bunch of excuses as to why it isn't your fault you aren't fucking/dating the girls you'd want to date/fuck. And it is entirely your fault.
     
  14. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You're making excuses and they're pretty weak at that. We're not gonna join you in your pity party.

    1. Your confidence in yourself is the main factor in how attractive you are. Aside from that, people's ideas of attractive vary from person to person. One person's 5 is another person's 10. So to say you're below average says only that you don't value yourself.

    2. Again, stories don't make or break a relationship. Do you want to be a comedian? Are you Dane fucking Cook? Because in the real world, people don't sit around telling stories. As long as you can hold up your end of a conversation, it doesn't matter whether you are a storyteller or not.

    3. Of course people want to look good, but again it has more to do with their confidence in themselves than anything else. You're completely missing the point. Why are you so concerned with other people's opinions that you don't value your own? One should always value their own opinion over the opinion of 'the people'. Your view on life isn't a fucking democracy.

    4. A perfect world? This world is far from perfect and pretty much everyone I've ever known in a relationship would agree with me when I say "Who gives a fuck whether a girl is hot to your friends. Find a girl who you find attractive and fuck what your friends say. If they're real friends they won't be complete assholes."

    Again, you're making sad excuses and whining when we're trying to give you real advice. Get some confidence in yourself and stop caring so damned much about how others view things.
     
  16. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    well, of course its my fault. whose else would it be? its not the girls.. maybe my parents, i dunno. but chalking it up to blame and fault is beside the point and not very constructive
     
  17. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    wait, what's the supposed double standard?
     
  18. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    then don't call it blame or fault.

    accepting responsibility for your own life would be constructive.
     
  19. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Bitching about why other peoples views is the reason for it isn't helping you either
     
  20. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    1. Looks aren't everything, yea the guy looks hot, but chances are there isn't much more to him. Atleast to me, being in a meaningful relationship encompasses the whole of him, personality and all. Having a good personality will make you all the more attractive. And learning how to dress and style yourself well.
    2. Get out of the house and MAKE STORIES if you want them so bad. If they are such a big deal go get off OT and DO SOMETHING.
    3. Most people have pride in themselves. I look nice because I care about myself and I take pride in that, not because I am trying to show off to others.
    This. Your problems are nobody elses fault besides your own. You have a choice.
     
  21. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    women are less superficial than men?? HAHAAA :rofl:, that's such bullshit. I have actually experimented this statement on myself several times, and I ended up being right about it. Yes personality matters and honestly I used to think that I'd never like anyone below a 10, but with time I have started to like certain women for how confident / smart and intelligent they are. But they were still at least a 7+. But at the same time maybe it was because I couldn't get what I wanted so my standards went down unintentionally (which is honestly what probably happened).

    There are people out there who can make you happy in a matter of seconds, and their level of attractiveness goes up. With that being said, it does not mean that you will able to pull like 8 or 9 girls on a rating scale, if you are a 3 or 4 yourself. The only solution to your problem is either to settle with someone desperate like you, or be extremely passionate about things you like and hope that some girl out there is looking for those same exact qualities, even if they are present in a below average male. The chances are, however, pretty low.

    And o please, don't be a fucking bullshit artist. My room mate pulls a lot of poon every weekend but he also lies about him being an alcoholic when he never even drank, he lies about being french when he is Jamaican, he lies about being able to speak french when he can't speak a word of it. He lies about how much he can lift heavy, the list goes on. Then he eventually gets caught, embarrassed and dumped. You don't want to be that person. He spends half his day trying to cover up his lies. Sex is not worth a life full of guilt.

    Your main goal should be finding someone you like, not what your friends approve. If you find someone who you actually like and are able to click with her, you are honestly very fucking lucky. Don't push your luck any further.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2009
  22. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    "confidence" and "self esteem" is a buzzword that has come into wide circulation. however, confidence is a myth propagated by people who throw it around stupidly without thinking about what it means. confidence is not innate. confidence is given to you by other people, by success. you do not control your own level of confidence, no one does, unless they are delusional. i might make a thread about it some day, because that word really irks me.




    i agree. i admire people that stand their ground over an opinion, even to the point of being combative, when they could take the easy way out
     
  23. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    more proof on your virginity
     
  24. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    So very very wrong. Haven't you ever heard the phase "fake it 'til you make it"? If you act with confidence, you'll find yourself gaining confidence. You talk big like you know so much, but you're here because you're unhappy with your situation. I would assume if you had the ability to get yourself in a better situation without help, you'd have done so. That leads me to believe you don't know everything. So take it from those of us with experience, who've been in your shoes and made it beyond where you are, and work on building confidence in yourself instead of trying to always get validation from outside. Because from what I can tell that is your biggest problem.
     
  25. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    I think he's right about confidence. Confidence is something you can get from your environment, not something you can make up. If you are faking it, chances are you will get tired of this acting and faking, only to fall back to your original self. I used to be extremely confident in my teen years when I was surrounded by friends and people who liked me, when I kicked ass in sports etc. Now in this town covered in rain,snow and concrete, not so much. Yes if I am playing soccer, I feel like I am a fucking beast on the field, but the moment I step out of there and maybe play basketball, I will not have the confidence I had in the soccer field. It all depends on your environment and how you are feeling.
     

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