SRS I hate talking on the phones with girls.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Guz200sx, Aug 20, 2006.

  1. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I hate the dead silence that occurs after a good moment of conversation.

    When I have nothing left to say....that sucks. Its like I need to say something so I don't hear the dead silence but I don't have anything left to say and I don't want to say something stupid or sound stupid.

    Sometimes this happens in person too.....and its not just WITH girls i like, actually. Its with everyone. I don't know....Its just like silence and I hate that.

    With one girl, All i do is text her or talk to her on myspace. I talked to her once on the phone and I didn't like her voice. It was way too raspy...sounded weird. I don't call her and she doesn't call me either.
    Relationship is weird...
     
  2. MikeTheVike1

    MikeTheVike1 OT Supporter

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    If its a new girl, just plan the phone call to be before you have to go do something. Like call her 5 mins before you are going to lift weights. Then when there is a slight pause in conversation say" well I better go workout, I'll ttyl"
     
  3. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    same thing with me....I don't think I'm much of a phone person, I'd rather much talk to someone in person

    but yeah....the awkwardness about it is just odd
     
  4. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    If you find that silence with someone is akward, then you probably aren't vibing well with them/ havn't build enough genuine rapport... silence can be beautiful, when two can share it, having things to talk about depends on you and your keen sense of your environment/whit
     
  5. hungraa

    hungraa New Member

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    ask more questions. let the girl talk more than you.
     
  6. Isaac

    Isaac New Member

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    I agree about letting her talk more, but you've got to set yourself up to be the one who leaves her wanting. The conversation gets good, you say your goodbyes in a non-rude way, and you leave her wanting. Girls aren't interested in guys who let the interest die every time they talk to them.
     
  7. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Shit...:ugh: This one girl flipped it on me then....She cuts the convo short and then says she'll call me back but doesn't and I'm left wondering whats up.


    Whats up with girls not calling back either? Or not calling at all?

    I dunno...I thought I had 3 potential girls that were interested....Now i got only one and I can't get a feel for her, feels like she is playin and shit and i dunno what to make of it & this one girl in PA is actin all weird and shit, some dude she dated was harrassing her last week and she had to file a restraining order against him, i think....dunno whats goin on with that. And another girl stood me up and then apologized in a message but hasn't answered me back when I messaged her again.

    :ugh:
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2006
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    They aren't interested. Move on and find someone else.
     
  9. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    :werd: I know one girl isn't, she stood me up @ starbucks but whatever....I'm still wondering about the other one in PA. Dunno if she is busy, cause she is a single mother, or if she has something else going on.

    I think i'm going to ask this one girl I work with, out for coffee today. She's Lebanese and has beautiful eyes :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2006
  10. Archer Sterling

    Archer Sterling Vroom Vroom Moderator

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    You myspacin these girls?
     
  11. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I wrote a related article to this subject:

    Keep the phone conversations/IM/email down to a minimum!

    The whole point of dating (for most people) is to learn about the girl and create chemistry. I think that it goes without saying that chemistry is best created, served, measured, and judged when you are face to face with someone.
    Talking over the phone or over email does not lend as well to romantic situations in comparison to talking with that person in a face to face scenario. You cannot read each others body language, you cannot see each others smile, you cannot read nervous movements such as playing with hair, she cannot flirt by touch, you can't as easily determine if she is bored as well over the phone/email/IM, etc, etc. These things are excluded from conversations over the phone.
    If you want to be in the best position to build attraction and flirting, then you will want as many tools at your disposal as possible. Everything you can do over the phone you can do in person, yet not everything you do in person can be done over the phone.

    What is the whole goal of dating anyway? For most people their goal is a mature romantic relationship. The best way to increase your flirting skills and your ability to reach that goal is through practice. You are going to want as much practice as possible, so save most of that practice for face to face conversations. Not only is there so much more involved in a face to face conversation, but a real relationship doesn't take place over the phone-and that's what you are trying to build. Limit how much time you waste on the phone and get more experience in carrying conversations in person. Use the phone for setting up dates.

    Too often I see the people with the lowest dating skills using the phone the most. Often it becomes a crutch, something they rely on in order to talk to the object of their affection. Just recently I read a thread where a guy said he met a woman, they hit if off, and exchanged numbers. Instead of calling her to set up a date, he instead called her up to chat, like buddies. He started having long phone conversations with her, lasting around an hour each time. At first she was receptive, but then over time she stopped answering his calls. Her interest level dropped. Here she was hoping to get a date with this guy, and he never had the nerve to ask her out. Instead, he called her up and spent all of his time trying to get to know her over the phone talking about god knows what. If she wanted that kind of relationship, she would have called a friend. This guy was supposed to ask her out, and eventually she moved on and left him wondering where he went wrong.

    His problem? He used the phone as a crutch because he was too nervous to ask her out on a real date. He was not only limiting his ability to build chemistry, but the phone also limited his ability to be fun and exciting, as well as depriving himself of practice at courting someone in a face to face scenario. Sure it's not always comfortable and easy to ask someone out, but the only way that will get easier is to start doing it.

    Use the phone to set up dates, try to limit yourself to 5 minutes tops, and YOU be the one to end the conversation. The last thing you want to do is spend hours talking about this or that and revealing all of your cards and exhausting topics of conversation that could have been had in person. Let her get to know you in person.
     
  12. Budha

    Budha Guest

    Yeah man, if you really cant hold a convo w/ them, then you prolly dont have much in common etc... like some people are easy to talk to, some arent.
     
  13. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    sounds like your asking too many questons and are getting into the friend zone IMO. If you have talked so much that you at the point of need more material you have TALKED FAR TOO LONG THAN YOU SHOULD EVER CONSIDER! Make your conversations brief and to the point of your next seeing them in person and learn how to end it.

    I also hate the phone as I'm a physical/visual and I strive off seeing her/his face to know if what I'm saying is flowing or if I need to change it up.
     
  14. Sandwich

    Sandwich OT Supporter

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    so what about meeting people online? for instance, myspace, match.com etc

    i'm talking to this one girl right now that i met online thru match, we've only talked twice but she seems very interested and i am as well. we've talked about a lot of stuff in our 2 AIM conversations...so am i ruining my chances of actually meeting this girl?
     

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