SRS i HATE school

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Jadix, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    I've spent all year trying to pass this god damn vector calculus class so that I can finally get into my upper division courses. The final is tomorrow, and I can hardly begin any of the problems on my review sheet. I'm so sick of this bullshit.

    I dont even want to be a "computer scientist" anymore. I would hate to spend my life in a fucking office. :mad:

    I dont fit in with any of my classmates, nor any of the people I currently work with. I'm a programmer for the university's computer labs developing programs we use to monitor and control the labs. As a computer science student, you really couldn't ask for a better job to have in college because its one of the only programming jobs on campus. It will look GREAT on my resume. :ugh2: But like I said, I dont fit in with them. I'm not a nerd. I dont like Star Wars that much (the movies were cool...but come on!). I dont think geek jokes are funny. I mean I can get along with these people, but spending my career with them is entirely different.

    The problem is I dont care anymore. I dont want that life. I think I'm smart enough to get through anything like this, but I just dont have the drive. I spent a lot of my highschool years training myself to be able to develop computer games, because I loved them so much back then. But since then, I've grown up a bit and it doesn't intrigue me like it used to. You cant understand what I used to go through with my dad to learn as much as I did on my own about computers. He hates them, and there were times where I had to physically defend my computer from him smashing it with a hammer (he was a carpenter for 30 years).

    Over the past year and a half I've been in a band. Its part of the reason my grades are suffering, but its just so much more fulfilling than anything i've done before. I used to love getting a program to work, but its nothing like jamming. I think I could make a living doing that, though there's not as much money as a programmer, but it would be worth it.

    I already know how to program. if I need a computer job for money, I could get one. Sure I'd start out pretty low because I dont have a degree...but I think my abilities would advance me soon enough.

    I want to drop out, let go of everything, and start my life. I want to travel around and be free. I'm tired of tests. I'm tired of homework. I'm tired of solving meaningless problems. I'm tired of teaching myself something i dont want to learn because my professor cant speak english. Searching through this fucking math book for an explanation that it doesn't have. I'm sick of spending thousands of dollars for all of this.

    Im just a little nervous about cutting all my work off and starting over.

    :rant2:
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2007
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I think I remember you posting about this months ago. If I have you confused with someone else, I apologize and you can skip the rest of this post. lol

    In your previous thread, many people were telling you to stick with it....it'll be worth it in the end. I believe I was one of the ones encouraging you to pursue your passion and trying to get you to be specific about your plans for music and the path you wanted to pursue with it.

    Your post simply sounds like end of semester stress coupled with a disdain for your current profession. I've been where you are, I've lived the life you are currently living and I pressed on....hung in there....got the degree....and went to work. I was miserable and depressed and every time I expressed this to people in my life that cared about me, they all told me similar types of things. Things like...suck it up, get over it, relax dude.

    The problem is, what they failed to understand is the depth of my despair and how much I HAD to pursue a different course in life. Guess what....when you get a degree in something, people make the assumption that you enjoy that type of work or that you are willing to work in that profession. Nothing could have been further from the truth for me.

    So I finally had to stop listening to other people that encouraged me to NOT change. I had to start listening to myself and making my own decisions about the course of my life. Here's the really hard part, I had to have courage to follow my own ideas, no matter what anyone else said.

    You know...it's ok if you don't want to be a computer scientist. There are many people in the world that couldn't give 2 shits about computers and live healthy, productive lives. They are happy and fulfilled because they are living lives that are in line with their beliefs.

    Anyways, my suggestion.....give yourself a break man. Pursue your musical paths and start figuring out what you want to do with them. Follow your heart and your passion because trust me....you don't want to "END UP" where I was. It's much more satisfying if you take control of your life and start steering it in the direction you want it to go.

    ps....if you don't like math, you'll hate Theory of Computing. I just graduated with a BS in CS and I can assure you that vector calculus is not the end of the math. There's much more to come.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Thanks I kinda thought or I was hoping that my math was done. FUCK!

    Sorry about that.

    If you want to follow the music life take sometime off and do so.

    You won't know what it has to offer unless you try it.

    It goes back to this saying, "what if"

    Good luck.
     
  4. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Coottie you're right. I need to get the fuck away from this. thank you thank you thank you. If I've gotten this far with computers without any help from anybody, in fact with people actually in my way, I feel I can do anything I put my mind to. When I fail this test tomorrow, I'm done.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well every school is different. My CS degree only required calc 3 (series and sequences) and matrix algebra. But I also had to have Physics for Scientists and Engineers 1 and 2 and these were simply applied math. I also had to have Linear Algebra, Statistics and some other classes.

    My degree is so close to a math degree that I could actually get a minor in Math without only 1 other course, I think and I could get a separate major in math with only 4-5 more courses.

    And theory of computing...ugh...it's nothing but proofs.
     
  6. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    I felt the same way about Electrical Engineering as little as a year ago. The pre-requisite math and physics almost made me want to quit. I couldn't stand the professors, the classes, or the people. But somehow I managed to get through it (some of the classes took a few tries) and I'm much happier now taking all the core EE classes because they actually are what I'm interested in.

    How many years would you have left before you finish your degree? Two maybe? Thats not bad considering that if your music career doesnt work out you could spend years working some dead end job for little money before you got a good CS job. I say get your ass to the grindstone and get the degree. Afterwards try out your band, be a cagefighter, start your own business, or whatever you fancy, because if whatever doesn't work out you can always say, look I have a CS degree, you can hire me.

    A college degree doesn't mean you know how to do work in your field, employers know that. Any computer or engineering company has its own training program and starts you off on easy assignments. A degree is like an initiation. It shows that you have the drive and motivation to stick with something difficult and see it through to the end.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You're welcome...I hope it works out well for you. I simply can't suggest you "press on" or "stick with the CS degree" because you sound so much like I did back in the day.

    The cool thing is...when you are actually pursuing a passion, I've found that I'm much more willing to put up with the shit work required to achieve a goal. Keep in mind that pursuing a music career will prolly not fix everything in your life and it certainly won't be easy. That's one reason I suggest getting real clear about your goals because that can help you to stay focused.

    I've found that pursuing my passion has been more difficult than I originally imagined and at times, I have to work hard to re-motivate myself. However, it's a much different feeling than my previous career and you can't imagine how good it feels to achieve a goal, in your chosen field, that you've been working towards for many years. It's one of the best feelings ever!!

    Well since you're prolly going to fail anyways....might as well start from the beginning and try to learn as much as you can with the time you have left. I mean....you are done so why not give it one last push and see what you can accomplish???

    Anyways, good luck and God Bless.
     
  8. mrj

    mrj New Member

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    I work in IT (Networking), I'm not a nerd. I do Muay Thai, go clubbing too much, love a ritzy lifestyle..

    I love technology, I love the industry - And I'm well aware that 99% of the people I work with will probably be the typical negative, gumpy, WOW playing geek with no life.

    And that's fine.

    Who says you need to relate to your coworkers? I think you're better off being opposites, and bringing different talents/ideas to the table.

    College, I can't help with. I probably couldn't pass half of the courses you have taken. Luckily I skipped that phase (well, a 1 1/2 year stint at a Tech school), and now have the 4-5 years of experience to cover my non-degree holding ass.
     
  9. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    Well... I guess I can call myself a geek, a nerd, or whatever you want to call it, but I am in the IT / Computer Science field as well. I don't care that I am a little bit socially inept or not on the same playing field as some of the others in my field of study. I do what I want to do, and even if I'm not 100% sure what that is, I'm still going to pursue my passion: music and engineering. Hopefully I'll be able to put the 2 together, but I've never struggled with school so I've never been put in your situation.


    I would say don't give up with school: still give it your best instead of giving up. I hate it when people sit there and say they can't do something. Fucking work your ass at it until you can do it. Quitting doesn't help your problems, it just prolongs them.

    Work your problem out. Find someone who knows what they are doing in math and get them to teach you what you need to know. Give yourself the TIME to work at it, because in the end it will be worth it. Even if you never have to know how to take a standard coordinate plane and translate it into polar coordinates and then take the derivative ever again, at least you LEARNED it and you PROVED you learned it.

    But in the end, it's your life. Make your life work for you.
     
  10. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    You know, i never had a problem with school either until i stopped wanting to do it. Why keep going at something I dont want thats going to keep getting harder?

    I can do it. I know I can learn surface integrals. Its all the same shit in math: its always a procedure. Add one to this number, subtract one from that, substitute this in and get that. Sure I can do it. but for what? a high paying job i hate? To prove that I can?
     
  11. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I went through the same thing. I was a Computer Science Major and HATED IT! What I did was just research the other majors and talk to people who are currently in those careers.

    Eventually I found Network Security and System Administration. The highest math required was Discrete 2. The rest of the math I do is just Binary, Powers of 2, Hex, and all the math needed to configure networks.

    I also had the urge to just quit college, hop in my car and drive until I ran out of gas, then just get a job and start life "fresh", but I am happier that I researched the majors, talked with people, and took the leap of faith.

    Edited Part:

    Most of the Networking guys I run into are not Nerdy one bit. It is just your regular college guys... they love to party, chase women, and have a good time while they are just kick ass at networking. When they need to explain something, they talk to you like a normal human being, not like a CS major who takes 2hrs to explain some little thing.
     
  12. Jakusotsu

    Jakusotsu New Member

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    I just got out of my first year in college, after completing a couple of the major req's for CS. I can't tell if the major is for me yet, but so far i like it-- and if i liked it, I wouldn't give up on it just because I don't fit in with the people in my classes. you can find friends outside of your core classes, even outside of classes in general.

    I think you should at least stick around for a chance to try the non-math upper-divs. I always hear that it's unwise to judge a major solely on the lower divs.
     
  13. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    its not just because of the people. its the lifestyle that freaks me out. i dont want a boss, or a cubicle, or any of that shiat.
     
  14. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    A shitty cubicle job under an asshole boss the type of job you get without a degree, atleast to start off with. The degree will mean you can get something better where your boss respects you. My brother works for Microsoft where he has his own office. His boss is a laid back 20 something year old who only checks in with him every once in a while to see where he is on his projects. He doens't even need to come into work as long as he gets his projects done on time. He's very happy with the job and makes great money. Another friend of mine is doing internship at an engineering company and he feels like he does important work, and loves being part of the team.

    Put you nose to the grindstone and get it done. I'm sure your campus offers tutoring. Like I said, its better to invest the next two years of life and get that degree rather than wasting a lot more time working at a shitty job if your other plans don't work out. The degree is what will help open doors for you to better jobs so you don't have to worry about that shitty cubicle job.
     
  15. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    That is why I went Networking, its a split of cubicle/desk work and being in the "field".

    One company I interned for, I spent part of my day running network cables, terminating them, configuring the switches and routers, and adding new nodes/computers to the network. I also trouble shoot general computer problems in person, and did all the hardware upgrades.

    A couple times a month I would go Off-Site to another location to fix the network, add new wall jacks, test the wireless, and replace hardware.

    There were a few days where all I did was sit at my desk, I had a few days where I put my bag down and never had a chance to sit down, and the normal day was almost an even split of being on my feet and sitting at a desk.

    I miss my old job :hs:, right now I am a programmer... I sit in one spot for 8hours a day and it drives me insane. I even had a moment were I stood up, went to take a step and fell flat on my face because I was sitting for so long.
     
  16. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    After thinking about this a bit more since my first posts, you could switch majors to an easier type of degree. At my Uni, you could get either pure CS which was the most intense or Applied which you could use any other degree program to fill up your schedule (also had the lowest math requirements and didn't require Prog. Lang. or Theory). You can even get a CIS degree which is like MIS but with more emphasis on programming.

    Now I stand by my earlier suggestion but as a "fall back plan" you could go for say applied and use music as the other parts to your degree. Then if things don't work out with music, you can still feed yourself.

    Anyways, just some thoughts.
     
  17. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    I was thinking more about this, and I think I would much rather be a teacher (as a back up plan). What would be the best way to start heading in that direction? Do I need a degree first, and then a credential?
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2007
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Most Universities have Career Placement offices. Mine also gave tests to people to discover their interests then they gave them information about how to move in that direction.

    I know one person that thought they should be in business but was very unhappy. After taking the test, it suggested a career in law enforcement, something hadn't even considered before. He totally changed to LE and loved it.

    If I were you, I'd start with the CP office.
     
  19. YourMomOnRyeBun

    YourMomOnRyeBun New Member

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    You may hate school now, but think how much you would hate working for minimum wage your entire life, which is basically what you would do if you didn't finish school.
     
  20. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Tell that to Bill Gates
     
  21. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Everyone who drops out experiences Bill Gates' luck and success.
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    That's not what I'm saying at all. There are those that fail and those that succeed. Bill Gates would likely not have experienced the kind of success he did had he stayed in school. He might have but he might not have. Noone knows for sure.

    He is however an extreme example that an education is not necessary to be wildly successful in America. There are many more examples.

    Education does not equal success.
     
  23. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    :ughj:


    Anyways. I just finished the test. It didn't go as bad as I thought, but it still wasn't pretty.

    hopefully i get a C :x:
     
  24. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I'm curious, what was your mood heading into the test?? You mentioned before that you knew you were going to fail but now you think it wasn't that bad....did you have the same thoughts of failure when you entered the test?? What about last night??
     
  25. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    Career Counseling may help... I went for 5 sessions and at the end it gave me a direction to go in. Your school should offer it for free.
     

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