SRS I hate my personality

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Swedish Boost, Apr 14, 2007.

  1. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I worked for the DOR here on campus fixing computers so that they will work on the residential network. Today we had a meetings to meet with the new hires that will start next fall. I didn't think I would have any problems handling 6 new people. We did this activity where someone would answer a few questions on a slip of paper, the slips were put in balloons and thrown around the room. All of the balloons ended up in front of me so I took two swings with my arms to pushed them everywhere. One of my female co-workers said, “Typical Swedish Boost, ruining everyone's fun.” I thought, “Great all of these people now think that I'm a bland pessimistic.”

    After we each got a slip of paper we had to mingle among ourselves to find whose paper we had. Once that was completed we went around reading off the information about the person. When it came to my turn I stared at the ground while reading it. What a dumb ass I am for not being able to control my anxiety. Then someone read my information which included my favorite movie When that was read the same co-worker said, “Yeah he would like that movie.” Again my true colors are showing through to these new people.

    I have been described as stoic, not excitable, surly, etc. I hate my bland pessimistic personality. It has made me so lonely. Why do I come off as so pessimistic? I try to be happy but I never come off as that. I was so angry at myself after this meeting. Why do I have SAD? Damn me to hell.
     
  2. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    are you insecure about your physical appearance?
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Answer this question for me.

    What do youhave to lose from these people knowing stuff about you?
     
  4. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    Yes

    For some reason I guess I'm embarrassed by it.
     
  5. Limited Edition

    Limited Edition New Member

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    Could it be your social anxiety prevents your funny upbeat personality your close friends experience from coming out.

    What are your conversations like in the office? Negative? Short without emotion? Light and funny? Tell stories?


    The moment all the ballons ended in front of you what did you think to yourself?



    That's a lot of self hate in what three mintues it took to write. I can't imagine the amount you bash yourself in a day. It reads low self-esteem.


    This person doesn't RESPECT you because you don't respect yourself. Do you think she would say that to a MAN that was self-confident, someone who would stand up for himself?
     
  6. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    I don't such a personality exists in my head.

    I thought, "Great all of these ballons are in front of me because I'm not participating."

    I'm well aware of that. Yesterday was expectionally bad.

    What am I suppose to do, get in a brawl with her and dominate her? That would just show my anger as a weakness.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You sound like you hate your own guts. Guess what, so did I when I was younger. However, you can change all this...it really is a choice you can make.

    And here's a little secret, everyone feels some level of social anxiety, EVERYONE. Some feel it intensely and let it dominate their behavior. Others feel it intensely and don't let it dominate their behavior....they've learned how to "act as if". That means they've learned how to act as if they fit in, as if they were comfortable, as if they weren't suffering so much.

    Check out Anthony Robbins. He has many books on turning your life around. Don't like his writing style??? Fine there are plenty of other authors out there. Head to Barnes and Noble, they have self-help sections with some awesome books there.

    However, it's entirely up to you to change this pessimistic behavior. NOONE will do it for you and you won't suddenly wake up one day and be free from it. Life doesn't work like that. YOu have to make a conscious decision to change...then find materials to help you with that change.
     

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