I worked for the DOR here on campus fixing computers so that they will work on the residential network. Today we had a meetings to meet with the new hires that will start next fall. I didn't think I would have any problems handling 6 new people. We did this activity where someone would answer a few questions on a slip of paper, the slips were put in balloons and thrown around the room. All of the balloons ended up in front of me so I took two swings with my arms to pushed them everywhere. One of my female co-workers said, “Typical Swedish Boost, ruining everyone's fun.” I thought, “Great all of these people now think that I'm a bland pessimistic.” After we each got a slip of paper we had to mingle among ourselves to find whose paper we had. Once that was completed we went around reading off the information about the person. When it came to my turn I stared at the ground while reading it. What a dumb ass I am for not being able to control my anxiety. Then someone read my information which included my favorite movie When that was read the same co-worker said, “Yeah he would like that movie.” Again my true colors are showing through to these new people. I have been described as stoic, not excitable, surly, etc. I hate my bland pessimistic personality. It has made me so lonely. Why do I come off as so pessimistic? I try to be happy but I never come off as that. I was so angry at myself after this meeting. Why do I have SAD? Damn me to hell.