SRS I hate my family...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by about:blank, Mar 13, 2005.

  1. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    My dad is a piece of shit asshole who tried to kick me out of the house at 13 years old because I was not interested in helping him with some stupid thing. Was never around when I was a kid. Bitches waaaay more than any person in his position should be (taking money from me and riding a motorcycle which I bought him for 4 fucking GRAND). Always takes money from me.

    My mom is a worthless human being who has no opinion on anything. You cannot have a conversation with her. Everything will need to be explained to her. So a 5 minute conversation with a normal person, takes 3 hours with her. Hides shit all the time. Whenever I buy something, I leave it on the kitchen table and when I come back I have to spend 30 minutes looking where she hid it. Always takes money from me, but she needs it for bills.

    My sister is an arrogant bitch who is too into her self, spends 100's on fucking day spas. Can never manage her finances and always borrows money from me.

    Grandparents are these fucked in the head christians that talk about nothing but death and how they have to be ready for being dead. Any conversation you try to have with them is regarding death. They have no interests outside of church. NONE. Not a single god damn thing.

    I don't seem to have any emotional attachment to these people. I mean, I really don't care how their day went or what the hell they want for Christmas (none of us exchanged gifts on Christmas).

    So far this year I've given over 600 to my dad, 2000 to my mom and 300 to my sister. My sister never fucking pays me back.

    Worst part? I can't move out because my piece of shit father is unemployed. Supposedly the asshole is getting his CDL (all of which I'm paying for), and going to be getting a job soon. I am really looking forward to that day since that's when I can get the hell out of here. I don't plan on even telling them where I'm going to go so I don't have any of their unannounced visits asking for cash.

    I'm seriously contemplating just telling them to go fuck them selves and deal with their own shit in life and just moving to a different city so I don't have to hear, see or smell any more of their bullshit.

    Can you tell I'm fed up?
     
  2. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    19 and I work full time. I'm seriously going to find a place next week and just move out without telling them. I have been rarely at home in the last couple of days I doubt anyone would notice.
     
  3. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    Do it, save yourself.
     
  4. Coffeedude

    Coffeedude New Member

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    Only way to save your sanity and finances.
     
  5. azn_bok_choy

    azn_bok_choy New Member

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    my friend is almost in the same situation as u, he got fed up and moved out, and his parents are begging him to come back
     
  6. You really need to get out of that environment, but try and do it in a peaceful (if possible) way. Tell them you love them, wish them the best, and it's time for you to move on, because I'm sure your Mom and Sister really do love you deep down, and really care about you (your dad as well, but he seems to have the hardest time showing it). If you got any good friends looking to move out on their own as well, possibly doing the whole roommate thing-split the costs would be best (although, you say you have a full time job, so depending on your pay, you shouldn't have to do that).

    Don't do all of this out of anger or frustration, because you'll regret it. Do it now because you have to for your own mental health and financial state. Good luck.
     
  7. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    Move out. If you really feel you owe them nothing, and they treat you that way, then leave them. Just because someone is responsible for your birth does not mean you owe them undying loyalty and respect for the rest of your life.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    1. Don't waste another $ on your family , you might as wel throw it into a bottomless pit. The main reason is ' you have to earn what you receive in life ' ,(this counts for your dad,your mom your sister)

    The point is you are a great human being willing to invest something good for your family hurray and you should absolutely keep that attitude, however you should NOT let yourself be abused as your doing now,your practically bending yourself over saying 'fuck me in the ass'

    Honestly you have to close that door and protect your 'behindmen' trust me people ALWAYS check a person to see if they can screw them over back and forward, and your letting yourself being screwed by your family.

    My advice LEARN to say NO!!! No i won't give you money, no i won't give you cash, no i won't lend you this, and no i won't do it go work for it yourself go out and make those hands work for themselves.

    And if they don't agree with you, tell them to take a hike. Apparently you are the one educating your dad here, whenever he asks for money tell him to FIND a job. Any exuses of him doing that course is bs, tell him to do a side job like all students do besides his study.(if he even studies that is.)

    You have to change your point of view, You see them as family therefore you open yourself up to them, and THERE lies your volunerability. Close it, end it. Do what is right for you.

    In your mind make a HUGE difference to what it is , to DO good, or what it is for someone to ABUSE your goodnes.

    And read this, Doing good is usually about emergency situation, Help me my house burned down can i stay with you for the night? And giving shelter then would be doing something good. When it's not an emergency, like hey i need cash to buy a new motorcycle, you basically have to say F*** you work for it yourself. SImply because you cannot provide the world of cash. This is the essence of good, providing yourself with everything you need ,while maintaining helping putting light and love in others people's live and giving a lending hand without letting yourself being abused.

    Listen family will always be family and you should always love them no matter what, you have to be loving but STRICT.

    When it comes to your dad i think i already gave you once the advice not to fight evil with evil, because only evil will win , but to fight evil with love.

    When it comes to your mom, i can understand your feeling of her being worthles. You think she should have content and pay her own bills. I would like to extra not and although you understand this already that she is taking money from you to keep the house running, which is mainly to blame on your dad because he doesn't have money to support the housekeep. So i don't think you really blame your mother directly i think most of your misery is caused by your dad. I also think that if your mother comes from a christian household, she might have a old fashion tradition household style (man in charge,woman obedient, serving husband and educating children) situation. I can't really explain her hiding everything , maby she just wants something to spare, in any case i advice you to get yourself a vault, to put your stuf in where others can't/won't be able to steal or take it from you. It is basically stealing. You should try to motivate her to get some education, maby you find some nice course that she can do and learn something from. Knitting club, Yoga, Writing, or other hobby that will at least provide her with a 'little education' to stimulate her brain. I would not expect her ever to be a 'great' conversationalist because she isn't in tune with all that. She isn't in tune with anything for that matter of fact. In short she seems hard to be changed for the better.

    Your sister is just living in her own world, basically you are all living in your own world and i will get back to that later. Stop lending her money because she doesn't pay back.If she asks for money, tell her as soon as you pay me back (x x x) amount that you own me i lend you some more money. (which you obviously will never do again for the rest of your life)

    Your grandparents are OLD and like most old people the only thing that is left is DEATH. Next time you visit them (if that is ever still to occur that is) You can try to bend the negative situation into something positive ea like

    Granddad: Oh dear, 48 people i know died from CANCER , one person had his liver cut out, and old Bessy from next door isn't doing so well either, by jolly even Gerard had his neck tested for Tumors, and my back is killing me, i hope that God will take me away soon. (you might recognize this) :mamoru:

    You: Why i heard so and so, had a new baby :) , jonny is doing great, and it's great to be ALIVE, and there's soooooooooooooooooooo much i still want to do in life, i enjoy CHRISTMAS, and i loved how Jesus died for us so we CAN LIVE our lives forever in eternity in peace. And how jesus said that Death was not a significant part and actually doesn't belong to life, and how only LIFE counts in life. And how everyone and everything is ALIVE in heaven. (you basically get it, fight death back with life)


    Well that sums it up quite nicely. One thing though i wouldn't wait until your dad gets his cld or whatever, just get out. If you can pay your dad 4k for a motorcycle, you are also able to hire a appartment for a minimal amount, it might not be everything, but it's sure as hell is better then living with all those parasites. Sit on your money like the devil on a bucket. Get a safe, and put it in there.

    I think your main life lesson to learn here is be good but 'don't let people take abuse of your goodwil'

    If you do that you can after that 'learn' to love your family.
     
  9. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    Just because someone is family does NOT mean you should love them. They deserve a CHANCE, but if they don't continue to prove they deserve that love, they forfeit that right to your love.

    I'd like to see anyone actually explain why I should love, respect, or even like my biological father. He's done nothing but prove he deserves none of it.
     
  10. Car

    Car New Member

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    The funny thing is, that everyone does the best that they can. So, your family has some limitations.

    I agree with most everyone else...move out, move on. But try and be thankful that your parents fed you, housed you, etc. It's no more than they're required to do under law, but it's something. It'll take a while to feel calmer about it all, too. Years.

    Don't do anything that will put a permanent schism in your relationship. Avoid the temptation to burn the bridges behind you. You may come to regret, even a little bit, some day.

    Anyway, they gave you life, now go live it.
     
  11. Plasma

    Plasma New Member

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    Just move out - simple.
     
  12. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    It might be time to move out. Still, be pleasant and don't be bitter. When you talk about how much you've given them, it leads us to believe that you should have received the lions share from them and not the other way around. That's not always the case. Move on if you like, but remember that you have life from your parents. I didn't live with my mother until I was 11, I didn't meet my father until I was 24.
    However, they are my parents and I have life through them. Regardless of what came down, I owe them some degree of honor.
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Here's the explanation, like a seed is required to be watered in order to spawn and become a flower.

    In a loveless situation ,the person is like a seed that needs to be watered, that love is like the water it's an investment to make that seed become a wonderfull loving person also.

    That's why everyone deserves unlimited love, the seed has beauty within itself, this counts for every person no matter how horrible they act or look.

    Therefore you shouldn't see love as a thing that comes out of the blue , or a given right that you should automatically receive from a horrible person. You should see it as an investment that may harvest something good.
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

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    This should not be allowed in Asylum. Someone want to flag a mod?
     
  15. IgnitionGSR

    IgnitionGSR OT Abuser

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    Yeah you need to move away from that and start your own life.
     
  16. *XxChocoTacoxX

    *XxChocoTacoxX Mmm... Choco tacos... :drool:

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    Like almost everyone else is saying, gtfo son. I mean, yeah they're your parents and whatnot, but when your family is hurting you more than helping you (when anyone is hurting you more than helping you) it's time to let them go and move on to better things. Right before you're absolute out of their house, just let them know and leave. Just keep it simple: come back to get something that you left and say "Hey, I'm moving out now. See you all later." and leave. No time for a change of heart, no time to let them talk to you and try to convince you otherwise, just up and split. I think it would be best in the long run.
     
  17. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    Pack your bags and move to Hollywood.
    Get a job waiting tables at the beach corner. And finish your screenplay at the Coffee Bean
     
  18. johan

    johan Active Member

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    No, it's not the right way to go. If you feel that strongly about it, then pack up your bags and leave home.

    You can't hate your parents enough to deny them life, while at the same time continuing to eat the food they put out and live under their roof. Just leave.

    There was a guy in the 60's whose mantra was "Kill Your Parents" -- it was pretty inflammatory, but the real meaning was to "kill your parents -- IN YOU'. That is, we are all imprinted consciously or unconsciously with patterns gained from our parents.

    For good or for ill, these ways of behaving stick with us. To be truly free, you need to recognize this and consciously forge a new path for yourself.

    PS the complete quote is: The first part of the Yippie program, you know, is kill your parents . . . Until you're prepared to kill your parents, you're not really prepared to change the country because our parents are our first oppressors." (Its by Jerry Rubin)
     
  19. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Rationalizing is of no use in problem solving. It's the product of an ignorant mind. Anyone who suggests murder at this forum will be banned.
     
  20. fitz

    fitz .

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    fitz, don't come into this forum talking smack. Read this and post responsibly.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=882029
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2005
  21. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    How about suicide?
     
  22. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    Why would you water the seed of something that would completely encroach upon your life, and take away those sustances you need to live? It's like watering weeds so that they overgrow your beautiful garden.

    Just because someone has been "so kind" to create you, to care for your basic needs, and then takes the money you earn for yourself thinking they've EARNED it does NOT deserve your respect. Or your love. If you can love and respect them despite their actions, then you're a better person than I. But there is no fault in not loving someone that has simply given you a roof over your head. There is more to parenting than that.
     
  23. *XxChocoTacoxX

    *XxChocoTacoxX Mmm... Choco tacos... :drool:

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    Uhh... move out. Don't physically kill them, just leave. It's as simple as that. No need for analogies and metaphors, stories, worries or grief, just gtfo of there. You'll be happier in the long run.
     
  24. about:blank

    about:blank Whether you think that you can or that you can't,

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    I made it clear to them that I am leaving pretty soon. Not angry outbursts, probably will be leaving on good terms. Dad is going to be getting a job next week or the week after that.

    I've been actively trying to find a place about 10 miles from work so the next 2 weeks will be full of change. I can't wait :x:
     
  25. Britney Spears

    Britney Spears New Member

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    10 miles from work... How far from home?
     

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