SRS i had to say goodbye...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DesignerAddic71, Jul 21, 2005.

  1. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    not too long ago, i posted a thread about me and a best friend of mine. to make a long story short, he and i crossed the friendship boundaries and then i didnt hear from him until months later. this hurt me very much. i told him this when we finally did speak again and he said it was because he felt 'awkward' about it.

    well tonight i had to do one of the hardest things. i had to say goodbye to my best friend. i couldn't do it anymore. i couldnt yo yo between being friends and being more than friends.

    now i am very, very sad. :wtc:

    i swear, this year has been the toughest one of my life. I have experienced more emotional pain and heartache in the past 6 months than in my 20 years here on earth.
     
  2. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    aww... ya, i've been there, done that. :(

    seriously tho, it's important to consider your own feelings when dealing with matters of the heart. if it truly is too hard to remain friends, then cutting it off is a good thing. believe me, time (and what you do with that time) does heal all wounds. :) i can vouch for that!

    good luck woman :)
     
  3. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    i keep telling myself that things will heal with time. i erased his numbers from my phone and deleted his email addresses, but this morning i wanted nothing more than to text him 'im sorry for everything', but i know i shouldnt do that.

    we've been friends for 6 years now, and its just hard to deal with everything
     
  4. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    God, this is so difficult to go through. I know exactly how you are feeling. To be honest the best thing to do is delete all of his contact information. That way you wont see his name when scrolling through your phone, or sending out an email. Do me a favor and don't look through your next phone bill because when you see his number you will be like... I treally sucks but give it a few months, and before you know it he will be out of your head. Six years is a long time, but in comparison to the rest of your life it is nothing. Keep your chin up love, it will all work out. Sometimes we get put through these hard times to toughen us up a little bit. And remember if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Keep fighting and remember that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
     
  5. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    that is what keeps me going. i've been tellin myself those same 2 sentences for years now. i do believe that everything happens for a reason and what doesnt kill us makes us stronger.

    it still sucks though cause we have been through so much the past 6 years. from suidical attempts to his child being born, we have been there for each other. and for years he talked about us getting married one day, and i kinda started to buy into it. and now its all gone.

    but i have deleted all numbers and emails, and i never look at my phone bill- i just check the balance and then shred it lol.

    i keep telling myself this is for the best.
     
  6. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    It is hon, just be strong :)

    I know it feels like someone pulled the rug out from underneath ya and now all the pieces are flying. Eventually they will fall into place into something new and comfortable.
     
  7. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    it's never easy to lose someone, especially a best friend. I went through this before, crossing that line. Except we actually got into a relationship. In the end it ended up failing and it was defintely hard. Really hard. It takes time to really heal from something like this especially when they were such a big part of your life in so many different ways, not just as a SO. That quote seems true and i still tell myself to this day. It kinda goes along with "Maybe things are meant to be this way..." for me.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I don't know i feel asif you should put more pressure to force things into the places that you want them to be.

    If you are feeling so much pain and horror inside my advice would be to seek counselling to make a begin starting to fix the damage ,before you end up in a total emotional wreckage. And don't think its not possible, you have to make EVERY possible effort to put yourself out of this black hole thru-out your entire life. Find stability, people to support on. :hug:

    Much love.
     
  9. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    so far you guys have been my stability. i am indeed in more pain now (as in recent months) then i ever have been in before, but i dont know where i can get counseling without insurance.

    but i do think i have made some progress in the right direction. things with school are finally falling into place, and i am slowly leaving the guys behind. but i do know i still have so very far to go. i still have many issues i need to deal with before i can say that i am happy and healthy.
     
  10. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    You shouls look into free counseling at your school, or even at a church. I am not a religious person but hey it is help when you need it ;) I went to my school for an eating disorder problem I had and got a ton of free information there (at a JC.)
     
  11. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    And it think it's essential for you to understand that you have to be 'stable' to pursue a relationship, if you honestly don't feel you are ready/stable enough, i want you to do everything to stay out, i rather have you do your thing and getting your grades and diploma's and once you got your life arranged pursueing into a relationship then what you are doing now, dating a guy having a mental breakdown and still having to get good grades :sad2: so first things first Mental + financial Stability > Starting relationships.
     
  12. DesignerAddic71

    DesignerAddic71 RIP Luther Vandross 1951-2005

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    ok this might sound worse written out than it does in my head, but cant i find that stability within a relationship? or is that just really bad?

    im not focusing on it though, whatever happens happens. rihgt now i am tryin to get my education going as well as handle all the emotional things i seem to be going through
     
  13. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well i believe i already said that you as a person shouldn't take to much hay on your fork, i mean be honest you can only handle so and so much, and if you feel you are in a huge struggle that only means that you are under great pressure, and personally yes i do feel that when your in a relationship stability can follow, but that's not really the thing im edging too, what im pointing out is the moment that a relation 'breaks up' leaving you as an emotional wreck. And you still having to handle school and other things might give you such a blow that you'll be having too much hay on your fork then you can handle :hs:
     

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