SRS I guess this is the thread where i say too much then regret it tomorrow..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by rebs, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. rebs

    rebs shares AIDS OT Supporter

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    Little back ground.. Im 24, been single pretty much forever, never had a LONG term relationship, i dont realy think i even think about women as much as the avg guy. Im too busy with my car and gym hobbies.

    But lately ive kind of caught the anti-alone bug...

    so last FRIDAY, a customer at work and i swapped phone numbers. I took her number 100% feeling it would be a friendship/lets bullshit and hang out thing. OK so about an hour after we had eachothers digits, she's texting me about hanging out soon, call me, etc... Right then i knew she was going to be kind of an issue. Shes fairly attractive, 26 years old, dental assistant, cool personality etc. My big issue with her from the beginning, is that she has a 5 year old, and is devorced. Thus me wanting only friendship of her.

    So the next day the texts start again, so i figured i need to call her, get both of our intentions straightened out, and just get any bullshit out in the open. Well, 3.5hrs later we've both told eachother EVERYTHING. Wayy too much in my opinion... Everything from past relationships, what we're looking for now, hardships growing up, the future...just flat out too damn much for a FIRST phone call.

    At this point im thinking, holy shit thats not a convo you have with people you'd consider only a friend. So im pretty much tripping out that shes on my nutts and i realy dont want any of that right now. We had another phone convo the next day, and after an hour of talking, i felt alot better about her realy wanting to just be friends, nothing more. Well, this was just a show i guess.

    I took her to transformers on weds, she was kinda doing the cuddle thing and i KNEW she wanted me to do the arm around her, cuddle her bs. But i was CLEAR that im not trying to send mixed signals, or play games, just be friends. After 2.5 hrs of that, she invited me to her place. I could just tell from the way she was acting that this would lead somewhere i dont need it too. So i made some bullshit reason to go home.

    Since then we've played a little text tag, but ive been realy avoiding her, shes just so damn clingy so damn fast, she even sent me a text after the movie that read " Are you asleep my love? well if you want to call me ill get up and talk to you honey, nite XOXOXXOXO"... That text along with others just realy realy showed me that i was right from the start, shes at a different place in her life than i am.

    So today, in an attempt to atleast help me push her away, and move on at the same time, i Asked out another customer. Shes 22, cute, and doesnt have a kid. We swapped numbers, i was on top of the world, too good to be true right?...right. While working on her car i found a spit bottle for chew..(im not 100% sure its hers but i dont see how it isnt), and like 3 different kinds of condom containers. The condoms dont BOTHER me, but the chew is fucking gross and just completely killer her in my eyes.

    This afternoon the other girl with the kid showed up at work, and sat up in the sales office for 2 hrs talking to the guys up there. She told them not to tell me she was there. Now i feel like i have to watch my back at work. Everythings just fucking falling down on me now.

    now that this is all laid out there...well most of it, Im having issues officialy breaking it off with the older girl w/kid. Shes extremely cool in person, i find her attractive, and id be lying if i said i didnt like some of the attention. Its just that i KNOW theres no future in it. Shes got so much baggage i dont even walk to list on the internet. Even still im having issues justifying letting her go :o

    Should i just ditch BOTH of them, and see what else walks in my door? Give one of them a chance, kill myself?..... Idea's?

    I sat there today trying to just think about what i WANT, and im just a NICE guy. Im not looking for a girl who'se going to give it up after a few dates, im not looking for a party girl. I just want a nice level headed girl who i'm attracted to who i can just have fun with and be myself. And yes im perfectly aware that i could call either of them at any time and get whatever i want, but thats just not the kind of girl i want to be with:hsd:

    Anyways, any advice is appreciated, sorry for the long read.
     
  2. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    amen
     
  3. AndyB

    AndyB I love you baby Kaitlyn and Dad

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    Gotta tell the chick with a kid that you aren't interested in a woman with a kid right now but don't close the door for a fuck buddy either :naughty:

    The other chick whatever, I don't think you've talked to her enough to make a decision yet?
     
  4. rebs

    rebs shares AIDS OT Supporter

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    finding random condoms and signs of chew in her car realy realy realy turned me off.

    I guess i have some thought in the back of my head that ill find a girl who hasnt been deflowered:o
     
  5. AndyB

    AndyB I love you baby Kaitlyn and Dad

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    Good luck finding that :mamoru: :rofl:

    Don't pursue anything with the 2nd chick if that bother you, there are plenty of women out there. Just start talking to every woman you come in contact to, not to try and date but just to talk with. It will help you out :)
     
  6. Trigger Happy

    Trigger Happy OT Supporter

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    Well to me it just seems that you are at the stage in your life and have been, where you want to do what you want to do. There is nothing wrong about it and it is good that you are doing the things that you want to. Because if you didn't do them now there are some things that you can't do later in life because you have to deal with so much other shit. So I am happy for you that you are taking care of yourself and doing what you want to. There is nothing wrong about been single or that you haven't had a long term relationship, it is just that you have things that you want to do that are more important, in time when you are ready then you will get along to those things. But there is no need to rush it.

    :hug: Everyone feels alone at some time, I think, and it's good that you can even admit to it.

    Even though you haven't had a long term relationship or anything like that, you have grown up and you know what you are looking for to some extent. Which is good for you because when something comes along your way you know what you want and you won't settle for second best, which is good and you won't feel like you're wasting time.

    Im sorry but that first girl that you got her number, it seems to me like she is a bit posessive / too clingy (or however you want to spell or say it.). Myself personally I can understand why you would only want friendship from her because if I was in your shoes I would only want the exact same thing from her. Because of the fact that she's already got a kid and has been divorced. I would have said go for it when you found out her age and what she does and stuff, but her actions are just too much for me I know there are some guys that like that kind of woman but I'm just not that interested to put up with that type of shit. And plus she has a kid, which would be a bit werid for me.

    :eek3: holy shit about your first phone call, jesus. I don't know what to say dude other than wow. That's alot to talk about in the first phone call, it seems like she is just trying to rush everything like she is stuck in fast forward and doesn't take her time with anything. And that's not the type of conversation that I would be talking about to a friend unless I had known them for a long time I suppose.

    And it was good of you, to not give her mixed signals. Sure you had to make up a bullshit reason, but you will know yourself when you are ready and want something more don't ever let someone force your hand / decision.

    And it's good to see that you are able to see that you are at a different stage of your life compared to others, but aslong as you are doing what you want and you're happy then that good. When you are ready for something more or you find someone who is what you want and at the same stage as you then it will happen. But don't change who you are to win someone over, be yourself and when the time is right then it will happen, but it is good to see that you are going out of your way to ask people out and stuff.

    See with the next girl, once again you know what you do and don't want in a woman, and you're not going to settle until you find what you want and why should you have to settle. There are lots of women out there and you're still young so you don't have anything to worry about. And it would be cool if you could find someone who was exactly what you wanted easily, but everyone has their flaws.

    It is a risk that when you ask people out when you are at work, or when you work with them. They know where you work so they will normally come in and see you and say it's coincidence :o

    Maybe instead of jumping in the deep end with the first one just be friends with her and see what happens after that? if something happens later on, but don't promise her anything because you don't know what's going to happen in the future and what you will want, but she's a cool chick and you have fun with her just keep it like that and don't over complicate things. And just see where that takes you. And in the meantime well keep your eyes out and looking who knows something way better may come along and walk through the door. Maybe you might want to try and meet different kinds of women not just ones that come into your work :dunno:

    You know what you want in a girl, and don't settle for second best. Just wait until you find one that you like and it will be worth it.

    Sorry if I don't make any sense, and :hug: i know it's gay and I don't really know you that well rebs, but to me you're a awesome guy who cool and fun. Don't ever change :hug:
     
  7. m4m4 l0n9

    m4m4 l0n9 Well-Known Member

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  8. rebs

    rebs shares AIDS OT Supporter

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    :squint:
     
  9. rebs

    rebs shares AIDS OT Supporter

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    the girl with the kid text'd me today.. She asked if she had pissed me off somehow, and said we had fun together and shes glad she got to know me... I felt pretty bad after that :o... I replied and told her i just need time to clear my head and that id call her when ive got things figured out( i dont know if thats completely true or not, id kinda like to keep her as a friend). She replied saying that shes glad we got to know eachother.. Sort of like she could feel that this wasnt going to work... I realy realy feel bad now. She gave me a golden opportunity to walk away, and i can, but not without any guilt :o
     
  10. FarBeyondDriven

    FarBeyondDriven OT Supporter

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    You're doing better than me bud.
     
  11. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    thats boring. how do you know its her car?
     
  12. rebs

    rebs shares AIDS OT Supporter

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    She handed me the keys.
     
  13. LOLSTi

    LOLSTi DTOM

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  14. Takitome

    Takitome New Member

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    If you can't be bothered then why bother?
     
  15. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I just think you are over reacting way too much. Random condoms? Who cares, man. She's not your girlfriend so why do you care?? You should have made it into a joke once you saw them.

    Also, The chew :ugh: Although its disgusting but whatever. You again should have poked fun at her about that. Maybe later on down the road you could have told her you didn't like it.

    I can understand the issue with the kid cause I've been their before but if you are just friends why not just get to know each other more. If its there, its there. If you guys fall for each other then so be it. Who cares that she has a kid?

    :ugh:Its 2007, man. Wake Up. That is not happening.
     
  16. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I got one... well she wasn't... lol so it's not impossible.

    (for the people that read my thread about my issues, she fooled around with him, but didn't fuck. They were gonna try though lol.)
     
  17. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    If she has any brains, which she probably does, if you like her, she is likely aware of why you're putting up your guard and stepping back. I'd say that, even though she's not surprised at the response, she's still hurt by it. :hs:
     

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