i got tied up over a girl ive known for less than a month

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by invids, Dec 26, 2007.

  1. invids

    invids Guest

    started off good, we had sex last week and now things seem to be falling apart. shes spitting that whole friendship thing and we got into it all too fast etc etc plus shes blaming alot of her confusion on her exs trying to come back into her life and how she has to get into med school and is gonna be really busy with classes..im trying not to get attached but i think its too late

    im 18 :hs: is this shit gonna ever get easier?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 27, 2007
  2. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    yes.
    you've only been with her for a month. there's absolutely no way you've invested enough in her for you to be hung up over her for a long period of time.

    you'll understand once you've had your first 2 year relationship.

    i know it sucks being rejected (see my thread), but it's not that bad in the big picture. 1 month ago, you didn't even know this girl and life was still ok. it'll be ok after this also. you'll have 10 more relationships like this one and 5 more that become much more serious.
     
  3. invids

    invids Guest

    thanks man :hs:
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Give her space.
    *She's not over her ex(s)
    *She's way too busy
    *She's pulling the "maybe we are better friends" card
    *She's pulling the "I think we moved too fast card"

    All in all what this means is she has a low interest level in you. You are 18 years old. Don't get attached, in fact try your hardest right now to completely cut off contact with her. Make her come to you, it will give you power. Also do it for the fact that she might not want a relationship with you and you need to get over her in that case.
     
  5. invids

    invids Guest

    so if you say she has a low interest level..do you think shes interested more in her exs? according to her im the only guy she likes but shes probably bullshitting on that one
     
  6. Jay487

    Jay487 What's Life If You Ain't Enjoyin' It?

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    I've been in your situation a few times.... if I meet someone I really like and have sex I tend to become more attached than most people I think.

    Basically it all comes down to one thing... she's going to do what she wants, when she wants, regardless of how you feel or what you want. Thats how you have to look at it.

    I'm in the position right now of being friends w/ benefits with someone but its a very thin line because we've hung out so much (at one point every day almost) - met each others families, spent the holidays (thanksgiving, christmas) with each other and eachothers families, and I can't help but get attatched and care about someone. She really is a great girl, too. However she just got out a 4 year relationship and isnt looking to date anyone or be tied down, so I have to sit back and watch her go on dates with people and although it kills me I have to hide it as much as possible, because putting up a stink isnt going to change anything and will only ruin what we have. I just give her space, I let her contact me, and so far things are Ok. I just know if/when it ends, I'm going to be crushed :(

    I sometimes dont understand how people can be so close and intimate with someone, the things she says and does with me, acting like were dating but then its like she wouldnt mind if everything ended. How does someone act like they really care about you but have no emotional attatchment?

    Didn't mean to ramble on but this has been bugging me forever :hs:
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well yes. She's told you that she's confused right now because ex's are contacting her. The fact that she even told you that means she cares more about them and she see's you more as a friend that she can talk to about these things. I'm not saying she doesn't like you as a person, but if she really liked you she wouldn't be worried or telling you about her ex's, she'd be making more time for you, and most importantly she wouldn't tell you that things were going too fast and that you were better friends. Seriously man, we see this topic all the time in here...you need to stop calling her and getting ahold of her. Show you have a life outside of her and she might be more attracted to you, but moreso she obviously is busy and has issues to get over.

    You dont to be with a girl who has issues like that, you want to have her when she's over them.
     
  8. invids

    invids Guest

    My situation is very similar...except the holiday thing. I just got off the phone with her and shes going to dinner with her ex, then on sunday going to a lakers game with another ex...then she wants to be with me on new years


    I just dont get how she can have sex with me, talk to me everyday, be a major clinger (or at least pretend she is) and still do all this.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I really can only pray that you are smart enough to NOT hang out with her on New Years. You do realize she's not over 2, COUNT THEM, 2 EX'S! It'd be one thing if you just wanted to bang her, but you obviously want something more and you are wasting your time with this girl. Do yourself a favor and tell her you've got other plan on New Years.
     
  10. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    I'm 24 and I had the same thing happen to me verbatim earlier this year. I don't think girls start getting over their ex's until they are in their late 20s, if ever. I've had this shit happen to me far too many times.
     
  11. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    It honestly sounds to me like the sex wasn't all that great for her. :dunno:

    That's a tough one to swallow, but if it started happening right after you had sex, then that's what it sounds like to me and she just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
     
  12. invids

    invids Guest

    Do girls ever see ex's as just their friends or is there always no matter what going to be a weird sense in between them when they are together
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Yes you can just be friends with an ex. I don't feel weird at all with my most recent ex. We are good friends and there is nothing awkward between us.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yes. I am friends with a few of my ex's actually....but this doesn't seem to be a case of her having them as friends...She explicitly told you she is confused lately because of her ex's. That 100% can only mean she is confused because she still has feelings for them. Why would you want to pursue a girl who isn't over her ex's? Are you really that scared of trying to meet other women? You're only 18 as it is.
     
  15. invids

    invids Guest

    I'm not scared but for some reason I just want this relationship to work out and im realizing its gonna be damn near impossible.
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Because you like the comfort and security of what you know.

    In other words, you're scared to meet other women, you're just in denial about it.
     
  17. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    when you ask if it gets any easier? the simple answer is no.....since the dawn of time, men and women have had extreme differences that wont ever go away. Im having my fair share of women problems currently (thanks iwishyouwerebeer) and i just cant see finding a girl that isnt going to give me trouble.
     
  18. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    wow i never wait a month for sex.
     
  19. arseclown

    arseclown Guest

    you need to drop that game playing girl mang. it sucks, but she IS playing games. if she had any interest in you at the level you have in her, she'd say "fuck off" to her ex's and start things up with you dude.

    you'll find you'll be happier just not going out with her anymore dooder.
     
  20. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    Tell her to fuck off.
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    try for anal sex. if she denies you, move on.
     
  22. invids

    invids Guest

    you're good..
     
  23. Jay487

    Jay487 What's Life If You Ain't Enjoyin' It?

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    I know!!

    We'll hang out with each other, go to each others family gatherings, have the most passionate sex ever, and other things. Like for example one night we were hanging out, I went to leave (didnt have sex, both had to get up early) I went to give her a kiss goodbye (kiss on the lips) and she pulls me in for the hottest most sensual, hands and arms around my head - 2+ minute kiss I think I've ever experienced.

    Yet she'll get guys numbers when she goes out on the weekends and go out on dates with them. She says its because she was in a 4 year relationship that she got out of ~4 months ago and doesnt want to feel "tied down" but at the same time its like, shit or get off the pot here because I really fucking care about you and it kills me to sit here and not be able to tell her and have her feel the same way about me.

    Somehow I find myself in these shitty situations.
     
  24. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    So go out and meet other chicks then. I mean come on, the girl just got out of a 4 year relationship, did you really expect her to just jump right into another relationship? :hsugh:
     
  25. Ari1979

    Ari1979 New Member

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    Dude, you're not attached. I thought i was heartbroken over this girl i dated for one month. She tried to cheat on me and i was still trying to make it work. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING. ugh... We broke up and 48 hours later i was fine. It was infatuation and you're probably experiencing something similar: wanting what's slipping away.

    Rregardless, break it off. You'll be over it by next weekend guaranteed. You tapped that ass, good for you. move on.
     

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