SRS I got offered a job 2 hour away, so now I have to move away from the girl...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SovietRussia, May 3, 2006.

  1. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    that I am way into. Some of you might remember me talking about this girl a couple weeks ago. We have been hanging out for a while now, and to be honest, I think I am starting to fall in love with her. And I am pretty sure she feels the same way. But now i have to move away, and i know she is bummed about it, as well as am i. I dont really know what to do, since i cant really not take this job, and i dont think either of us want a long distance relationship. if anyone has any advice or thoughts...thatd be great. :hs:
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Congratulations on the new job! Are you moving closer to me? :) What is the job?

    2 hours truly isn't that long. If you truly love each other (or are falling in love with each other), you will work through the problems created by a long distance relationship.
     
  3. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    thanks, the thing is, neither of us want to mess around with the whole long distance thing. i guess im just kinda bummed because we were getting so close, etc. but now that i am moving, that is basically all down the drain.

    yeah, a little bit closer to you probably. it is doing accounting for a non-profit org.
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    How far away from your son will you be? Wouldn't you have to go back to visit him? So you would still be in the area then.
    What company?
     
  5. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    yeah, i will have to go back probably around once a month i would make the about 2 hour trip. so i will be able to see her then i guess. but i still dont think it would work. because this girl is beyond hot. i thought she was out of my league, but i guess not. :cool:
     
  6. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Why not let her decide what she wants for herself ;) You may get lucky
     
  7. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    I work with people that commute 2+ hrs. each way to work. thousands of people live in Pa. and work in N.Y.C. You can do this for a time. Buck-up.
     
  8. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    that is NUTS!! i couldnt see doing that. but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

    so she was over here earlier, and was here when i found out i got the job. she could tell i was bummed, and she was trying to stay strong for me. then she went to go chill with a couple of her girls. well a few days ago, she was saying how i should write her a letter. i was thinking about her after she left, and thinking about the things i would miss about her, i ended up writing her a letter, and it is by FAR one of the sweetest things i have written in some time!!! i feel better now, regardless of whether i give it to her or not, although i figure i will because i think it will do nothing but help the situation. ;)
     
  9. Laserbeak

    Laserbeak Remember kids! Be like Billy! BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

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    Everything has the potential to work, if both of you allow it to.

    Keyword: both.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2006
  10. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I think you two could make it work if you really wanted to. If you two really love each other I don't see why you wouldn't be able to continue seeing each other once in awhile and have a long distance relationship until you 2 can probably eventually be closer together.
     
  11. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    I drive an hour and 45 to work daily... two hours is not that long of a drive for love.
     
  12. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    what i would give to be only 2 hrs. away from my SO, you make think it's bad but it could be a lot worse
     
  13. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    it amazes me what people in other places consider long distance. My current wife lived 45 min from me when we got together. It was no big deal, still were together every single day.

    I go to nashville usually once a week, and thats about a 2 hour drive. St louis every few weeks and thats about 2.5 hours. Probably drive an hour a day just around town anyways :dunno:

    2 hours away really isnt far at all unless you just want it as an excuse :dunno:
     
  14. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    :werd: 6-1/2 hrs. sucks ass
     
  15. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Pfffft. I'm 5000+ miles / 16+ flight hours away from my fiance. If the both of you are in the space where you allow it to work...it will.

    IMHO you just need:

    a) An end goal: a general idea that somewhere along the line you two will be together. The actual timeframe is important only so much that it's a time you're willing to accept the strain of being apart.

    b) Sacrifice: Eventually, one of you would have to sacrifice what you know to move to the location your partner is & start over. If you both look at it now and have decided that neither of you could be able to do that...then call it quits now.

    c) Trust: You'll have absolutely no control over who she sees. If she does end up falling for someone else.... then you know don't you?

    You almost have to adopt a don't-care attitude because more then likely we all know a LD relationship doesn't work. It took me about 6 months of it before I realized this was actually going somewhere beyond my expectations.

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2006
  16. Drewski

    Drewski New Member

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    2 hrs isn't that much.

    if you can, try and find a place in between. that way its only an hour-ish to go visit her
     
  17. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    if you have some free time, read this letter she wrote me the night before i left to start training.

    I hope that you know what a good guy you are. I am so lucky to have you in my life, because your always there for me, and you never judge me or make me feel bad for some of the bad choices I make. And we both know I make a lot of them! You are one of my best friends, and that will never change no matter how far away you are. I hope that you know that I will always be here for you if you ever need someone to talk to. You can always call me if you need to talk, if you’re having a bad day, or if your just bored. It made me feel really good when in your letter you said that you liked that I am here to tell you that everything will be okay with the move to Madison, even though we both know that it will be hard for us. I’m glad that you realize that I’m going to support you in whatever decision you make, I just want you to be happy, and do what you want in life. I never want to be the reason you hold back from doing what you truly want to do. You have to do whatever is going to make you happy, and I hope that you think about that before you do the money, because no matter how much money you make it will never buy you happiness. But, I know you’re an intelligent person and you will make the right choice. I am going to miss you, and miss our time together but I know that your going to do so well in Madison. You have so much going for you, and I really admire how motivated you in life to accomplish the things you want to. I wish I had that drive, I hope that someday I will. I’m really proud of you, you’ll do great! Remember, I’ll always be here.
    This is kind of off track from the things that I’ve been previously talking about, but I wanted to talk to you about something else too. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry that I’ve been taking you on this roller coaster with me the past couple of months. I’m sure that its been really confusing and hard for you. The truth is I have no idea what I want and what feeling I can trust are true or not. There are days when I’m with you and I feel glad that we are friends and I don’t want to lose that, and then there are days when I think that I might want more. I know that you would treat me really well, and you would make me happy. I don’t doubt that, I just wish I knew what I was ready for because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I think that if we would have meant a week earlier things may be totally different, but I guess you never can tell. I think one problem is that a big part of me thinks that I don’t deserve you. You deserve someone who can give you back all that you give, and someone to appreciate what a great person you are. You deserve to be really happy. I wish that I knew what I wanted, and hopefully someday soon I will but I don’t want you to wait for me because I don’t want you to push away someone else that could make you happy. Another reason why I’m afraid to get involved with you is because I don’t want to lose the friendship that we have together that’s so important to me. Follow your heart, and do what makes you happy, you deserve the best. Know that.

    Love,
    xxxxxxxxx
     
  18. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    SovietRussia, you're self absorbed. I think you will do this girl a big favor by moving away.
     
  19. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i am! but only because i am the biggest stud on OT. but i dont think that has any bearing on this topic, and i would appreciate if no one responds to this post, i only posted it to defend my manhood against dave steel. :squint:
     
  20. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Well, from what I read there...

    She's giving you the martyr "I'm not good enough for you" story, she reaffirmed that she's your "friend" many times, and she doesn't know what she wants. I swear I could have copied a near exact duplicate of this letter I had once from someone I was falling for once.

    Sounds clear enough that this one isn't going anywhere sorry.
     
  21. Sotangledup

    Sotangledup Guest

    I think you should move away and attept at having a long distance relationship, if survives than maybe it's worth fighting for.

    good luck!
     
  22. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    new update!!!

    i am in madison since yesterday, i called her last night, and we talked about this whole situation for at least 3 hours. :eek3: she told me she knows she wants me, and wants a relationship with me, but she said she still thought she needed some time to herself. as well as i know this girl, i know she sincerely wants me, id be willing to bet she is starting to fall in love with me. so i dont really get how she could tell me that she wants to start a relationship with me, but at the same time she still feels like she needs some time, because she has been going from relationship to relationship ever since she started dating. this is so confusing and difficult. hold me. :wtc:
     
  23. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    i got back into town last night and spent the evening with her even though i am moving in 2 weeks. well today she has a wedding she is going to with her mom, and i got up early, and bought some flowers and put a sweet note on it and put it in front of her door, so when she goes to leave to her moms she will see it. :o
     
  24. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    haha, you've made this thread like your own personal journal. that's all good. i'm in a similar situation. a couple differences, one is i'm only 80 miles (1.5 hrs away) and the other is i got promoted and transferred while IN a relationship. and it's been up and down and up and down since the move. one week we'll be just like we were when we lived 10 min from each other, all happy and stuff. the next week we stay on the phone with nothing to say and i can hear her crying at the other end. it's extremely hard during those times. but like someone mentioned, if you're in a relationship where you both are truly in love with each other and have the drive to make it work, it'll work if both are willing to make the adjustments. in your case, however since you're not already in a relationship. i would suggest maybe go with the flow yet keep your options open.
     
  25. diamondsky

    diamondsky New Member

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    really what is 2 hours away if you want to be with someone? 2 hours is nothing to drive on weekends...my boyfriend and i have been together for over a year and he got a great job offer that is 14 hours away...2 hours is nothing.
     

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