I get oneitis/attached way to easily.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by SHIFT_blue, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. SHIFT_blue

    SHIFT_blue OT Supporter

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    Like the title says, I get oneitis/attached wayyyy to easily. What are things I can do to stop this rush of emotion from happening? Shit Im thinking about her ALL the time and I keep telling myself to fucking stop, that I shouldnt even have developed any feelings so quickly. I even know the feelings aren't mutual! Because this happens to me, even though I really try not to show it, Im sure they can read me and I just get friendzowned.

    I think this mostly stems from the fact that Im 24 and have practically ZERO experience with women. Never had a real GF, v card blah blah.

    I havent let this happen in a long time because it makes me feel like shit cause things never work out. But its happening right now. I shoulda never listened to my friend who said she was interested and dropped my guard. I havent lost out YET, but Im sure its going to end up just like the other friendzownage incidents.
     
  2. SHIFT_blue

    SHIFT_blue OT Supporter

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    Heh yeah I know hobbies are a good thing. Ive been hitting the gym daily except for the weekend. And I work on my car when I can. Just need one more part then I can start driving it like I want to. Even while Im doing these things Im still thinking those things. Especially when Im in the gym. Thinking of her in the gym actually gives me pretty good motivation for pumping shit out.
     
  3. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    if you had fucked at least ten chicks you wouldnt be having this problem
     
  4. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    buy a hooker
     
  5. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    in addition to getting your hands in other hobbies/work, talk to more girls. you're not obligated to this girl in the slightest sense, so go spread yourself out.

    there's no reason to put all your eggs in one basket.
     
  6. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    yeah right man im telling u if you just wait around NOTHING is going to happen. believe me, giving up the "searching" is the easiest thing in the world but it doesnt mean it will get you anywhere

    and no girl will come to you unless you're good looking and if you're good looking and still have problems then you dont deserve your good looks. so unless your hobby is playing in a band or some other cliche shit that gets you laid for nothing, it's not that easy. you might as well just say "be yourself" :rolleyes:
     
  7. SHIFT_blue

    SHIFT_blue OT Supporter

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    I have to agree with the no looking part. I wasnt looking for years because of what would always happen when I tried before. While I wasnt looking absolutely nothing happened. I was fine with it though since I wasnt looking and I didnt feel the need for a SO at all.

    With this girl I even had my wall up to make sure nothing similar was going to happen with her. She was being overly nice, doing things for me, and calling. I just shrugged it all off as her being a really nice girl. Then a friend told me he thought she was interested in me from some things she said to him. So I let my guard down and emotions skyrocketed cause Im a pussy.
     
  8. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    You'll get more in tune to these things with more people you date. There'll always be times where anxiety and nervousness will make you do some weird things and you'll look back and go 'wow did i get a bit pathetic back there' but don't dwell on it, it happens.
     
  9. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    been there

    similar back ground too, sucked ass and I know I fucked up at least one great possible thing.
     
  10. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    There's nothing wrong with not looking for a while to pick up yourself/self-image. (There's also a difference between looking and being desperate.)

    But even after all's said and done, girls probably won't come clamoring for you unless you start putting feelers out again. But assuming you have your shit together, it should be easier for you this time around.

    cyrus is also right about not thinking a gf/getting laid will change your life. If anything, those things are a means to a happy life, NOT an end.
     
  11. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You need to have more than one female interest at a time.
     
  12. cp

    cp New Member

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    make sure you never say, "i love you." at least for 3 months in your case. if she says it that's fine, but not for you.
     
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    It's all about self-confidence and independence man.

    You get attached easily because you need to validate yourself, you yearn for some type of emotional relationship causing you to fall too easily.

    You need to understand that it is OK not to have a g/f and don't be afraid to be alone. Personal independence and self-reliance is one of the best fucking things in the world... and once you realize that THEN you can really have a solid relationship with someone... until then, it will be issue after issue.

    If you're 24 and never had a g/f and still have the Vcard then that is a different thread in itself.

    Stop being so desperate to have someone and realize you have yourself and you have potential. With that understanding will come the building of confidence... and that will in-turn help A LOT with getting the ladies.
     
  14. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  15. Rellik

    Rellik New Member

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    what are you even talking about, man? that's the whole point. If my feelings or attraction for girls was ever reciprocated, then I wouldn't have any problems. Just like the original poster.. so what does all this other bullshit matter if she's just not into you?
     
  16. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    relax. its not a race. dont worry so much and be yourself.
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Mainly the part about having standards and looking to disqualify her, versus meeting ONE GIRL and getting obsessed about her.

    Starting out with the goal of getting one specific girl to like you is difficult and oftentimes impossible.

    If you want to meet the ONE girl who you are going to be with, chances are you will have to go on dates with many different women.

    Seeing dating many woman as normal and natural is a logical step towards eliminating oneitis.
     
  18. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    jerk off more often. its makes you more relaxed around girls and relieves some of that anxiety you have.
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    more women.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    contrary to popular belief, women LIKE horny men

    becoming less horny around them is not a good approach
     
  21. kizzap

    kizzap New Member

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    Well i seem to be in the sameish position as the OP. Except she is not trying to just friendzone me but bestfriendzone me...
     

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