SRS I get one complaint and I'm back on the gear.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by zameil, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. zameil

    zameil Active Member OT Supporter

    Feb 24, 2004
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    below the bottom of the gutter
    The story so far,
    8 years ago my wife died and left me with a lil girl to raise, I eventually re marry and it looks ok for now

    So go back to about this time last year, my mum was diagnosed with cancer. She goes through chemo and into remission around Janurary.

    At about the same time (November 05) the house I've lived in for the past 10 years belonged to my grandma, the goverment made her sell it wanting her to become a self funded retiree.

    I work in a high stress job (property managment and sales). My boss is an ok guy and he realises that I can't be all things to everyone.
    anyhow I start to lose it a little because I was feeling that my life as going backwards. I felt that not only have I lost my wife but I'm going to lose my mum and my house all at around the same time.

    In February it seemed that my boss had recieved a few complaints about me and decided to have an intervention (he's a personal friend as well as my boss) so they hold the intervention at work.

    The result is I go to my doctor and am diagnosed with depression and am prescribed effor XR75mg for a 6 month period.
    I take the effexor it turns me into a zombie, I feel like it's taken my personality and washed it clean. I get bugger all sex drive and I feel like a loser because I'm resorting to drugs and can't handle my shit.

    In October I finish my course of meds, Almost immediatly my boss pulls me to one side and has a quiet word stating that he's noticed my agresssion levels have increased but we decide that as long as it's noted we'll just monitor how I'm going.
    I must say the guys at work have been good in that I tell them what I'm on and they will tell me if anything goes arry

    In late October my mums cancer flares up again, my Dad has a massive heart attack and I find out my younger brother has a drug problem.

    At this stage I still refuse to go back on the effexor and for the time being I feel like I'm handling it. I go to the docs last week and get some sleeping tabs. My doc asks me if I want to go back on the meds and I decline.

    Last weekend I had an open house, I was late to it (No excuse) I was wearing jeans and a collar t shirt (It's summer time here and the weekend)
    I greet the people, apologise for me being late and I show them through.
    At the end of the presentation there's alaways small talk about the weather, kids etc. We part and go about the rest of the weekend.

    The client calls my Boss today and compains about me being late, my appearance and how I was more interested in the weather and kids etc than selling the house.

    My boss writes me an email about this, sights the problems and wants to talk to me on Wednesday.

    I'm not one to wait because I know I can blow things out of preportion.
    So I go out to his house he doesn't quite know what to say he doesn't know wether or not to give me a break to let me things get together or just to let me go completely.

    I'm like WTF One complaint in 8 months and we're carrying on like we're back to square one again. I agree that the open house was a clusterfuck and I also note that no matter what some people will complain it's just the nature of the job he agrees with me, However he claims that other people have been saying stuff about me and when I question him about being speciffic so I can address the problems individually he won't elaborate, this is an indefensable situation.

    He says he doesn't want to sack me but he's made some very subtle hints.

    Thing is I feel if I lose this job I will drop deeper and to be honest I don't know how much more I could handle without trying to off myself (No threat I've only been there once I don't want to go back there).

    So I decide that I'm going to go on effexor AGAIN and seek some help as my boss seems to think that I'm not entirely over losing my first wife and having mum and dad ill along with my Brothers situation is only going to compress me into an emotional wreck.

    In addition to this I find out that my secratary has been talking to my boss and telling him things that I have told her in confidence only and he wants to speak to her on Wednesday and I just know shes going to say what she has to say to save her ass and that will mean hanging me out to dry with comments made that were strictly between her and me. This in turn will send my boss into wanting to kick my ass about this and coupled with the recent email I just feel he's liable to fuck this and sack the lot of us. Right on Christmas.

    Am I doing the right thing by going back to the meds and seeking more professional help and hitting these situations head on

    Or should I change jobs, pack my gear and my immediate family and run like hell?
  2. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    No, you should take care of whats causing the depression. Not use a band-aid to make you get threw the day. I mean if your job is causing alot of problems get a different job. If you take care of everything and you still are depressed then take some meds.
  3. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Jan 4, 2006
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    I really don't know what you should do. My world has never crashed down like that.

    I do know there's one thing you shouldn't do. Do not run. It never works.

    I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
  4. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    May 29, 2000
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    San Diego, CA
    You should ask the doctor to try you on a different anti-depressant. They work differently in everyone and it can take a little experimenting to find one that will make you feel more normal.
  5. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

    Dec 6, 2004
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    gl to you is all i can say at this point. i read the whole thing and im suprised you arent robbing a bank right now. oh wellz, u gotta do what u gotta do to live right? you have a kid, and remember, u always have a kid.
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

    Nov 4, 2003
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    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    So in a nutshell...

    You're a wreck and it's affecting your work.
    Previous meds have had uncomfortable side-effects.

    So......You are wondering if you should go back to therapy or cut & run.

    Well since the problems are clearly with YOU and how you handle things...what good is cutting & running going do?

    You think your current circumstances are causing the problems. They're not. It's you.

    Run away to a new city, and 6 mos later, you'll find yourself in a slightly different, but oddly similar set of "difficult" circumstances.

    So go back to therapy. Tell your psych that effexor isn't working, either cycle to something new or adjust dosage. TALK TO HIM. Tell him you want to alter the regimen.

    Running away solves nothing. Go back to therapy.

    Double down with your boss, sorry but you did screw up, and that's just not cool.

    You can't really spin it another way, and coming up with "excuses" is exactly what he doesn't want to hear.

    He wants to hear you accept responsibility, and how he can count on you.
    Right now, you just shift blame to some other factor/cause, and you seem unreliable. Because you sort of are.

    He can't give you case by case account of all the complaints? So what He doesn't have to.
    He's doing you a favor by at least telling you and giving you a chance to improve.

    Get back into therapy, tell your psych the meds are making you uncomfortable, and GET BETTER.

    You should do this EVEN IF YOU INTEND TO QUIT. Right now you're getting a paycheck. Swallow the bitter pill, go to work, and get on therapy.
    Once you get a grip, then start looking for a new job or more suitable line of work.

    ONLY when you have found a good new job, only then can you tell this current boss to fuck off.
    But not until then. You have a family to look out for.

    good luck.
  7. zameil

    zameil Active Member OT Supporter

    Feb 24, 2004
    Likes Received:
    below the bottom of the gutter
    Thanks Johan you're right it does run on me. I haven't spoken to my boss today but yeah there was no excuse for the fuckup at the open house. The secratary went home sick today before I got into work :squint: so I'm just going to see how tomorrow pans out.
    I've got an appointment next week with my doc and yeah I'm going to get some help. I've also made plans in case my boss sacks me which I hope he dosn't. I don't think he will but I've still got to cover my ass and think about my daughter.

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