I fucking love the gym! v.repost?mebbe

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by Elfling, May 5, 2005.

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  1. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=481&SectionID=11&LayoutType=1&StoryMonth=5&StoryYear=2005

    Posted: 4/15/2005 by: Chad Zumock [​IMG]

    I can’t wait to workout today! I’m going to do Chest & Biceps, actually I think I’ll do Tris and Lats, or maybe Legs and Abs. Fuck it! I’m lifting everything! I’ll do 16 sets of everything today. It doesn’t matter. I love weights! I fucking love lifting them!

    I love the gym; I’m probably going to stay here for six hours today because I love working out so much!

    Alright time to get busy.

    I’m going to make incredibly obnoxious noises so the whole entire gym knows I’m lifting heavy weights. I can bench press 350 lbs. I can squat 500 lbs. Everyone will know this before I leave the gym today.

    Jesus, my tan looks great under these lights! I think I'll step it up to four times a week and a couple extra minutes in the bed. I tan naked! I’m so tan everywhere! I love being tan!

    I love protein shakes more than anything in life! I drink 50 protein shakes a day. I’m drinking one right now. I want to shit protein! I fucking love this shit!


    Is that a mirror? I'll look in it from the corner of eye so no one knows I’m looking at myself. God, I wish I could look dead-on at myself right now because I look that fucking good! LOOK AT MY BICEPS! They look so huge today. I know other people are looking at them, and I’ll just let them look. I don’t blame them one bit. My arms are enormous!

    Shit! My batteries in my CD player are running low. Fuck! How am I supposed to listen to my Korn CD? How am I going to get pumped up without it? Damn, my arms look huge today!

    Check out that chick. She fucking wants me. You can tell. I don’t blame her. I look great! … She wants to touch these ARMS! I will let her touch them if she asks nicely.

    My penis is so small.

    It doesn't really matter, I’m so ‘cut’ everywhere else. My chest and my arms are ripped! Besides, my penis gets a little bigger when it’s hard. It doesn't matter, I'm HUGE everywhere else. JUST LOOK AT THESE BICEPS!

    I need a more supplements RIGHT NOW!! I’m going to GNC after the gym and I’m going to spend $800 on bullshit pills with this shitty gold card that proves I go to GNC. I’m going to buy Amino Acids, and everything else just to buy it! I just want to spend my money there so bad!

    I think I’m done working out for the day. I could work out all day if I wanted too, but my HUGE muscles need to rest. I feel so swoll! I’m going to go get another protein shake. It helps my muscle recovery. I love protein so much!

    God, my penis is so small.
     
  2. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    wtf?
     
  3. ryazbeck

    ryazbeck New Member

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    im so offended, im never working out again :wtc: :wtc: :wtc:
     
  4. Xtreme2k2

    Xtreme2k2 GTI Crew ಠ_ಠ OT Supporter

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  5. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    :rofl: at looking in the mirror part. i hate douchebags who masturbate to themselves in the gym mirrors
     
  6. JoeyCrack

    JoeyCrack Active Member

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    this is your worst post ever :o
     
  7. y0gfx

    y0gfx BURAAAJYANAII!!!

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    :hsd:
     
  8. Drewski

    Drewski New Member

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    I'm not sure if I should :squint: , :eek3: , :rolleyes: , :hsugh: or :rofl:, so I'm just going to :nikko: for the hell of it
     
  9. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    Oh come on! Haven't you ever seen the one like this about the striped shirt dude?? It made me laugh, there's so many asses like this at my gym.
     
  10. ryazbeck

    ryazbeck New Member

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    girls dont lift weights!
     
  11. JoeyCrack

    JoeyCrack Active Member

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    sorry this one made my head hurt :wiggle:
     
  12. Mass

    Mass Active Member

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    I cant helpt it if my cannonball delts mesmerize all the fat menopausal sea cows on the ellipticals...
     
  13. ryazbeck

    ryazbeck New Member

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    :roflw:
     
  14. Hoodoo

    Hoodoo Well-Known Member

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    Illll give you a protein shaaaakeeee mothafuckaaaa.
     
  15. KetchupKing

    KetchupKing New Member

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    i think it's clearly and obviously a satire/joke column?
     
  16. Fabian

    Fabian Active Member

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  17. shastaisforwinners

    shastaisforwinners OT Supporter

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    I suck :(

    I can't believe I missed this...
     
  18. Mike4831

    Mike4831 “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’l

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    Idiot.
     
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