i fucked up.. i said something realy wrong.. help please

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by A Cow, Dec 3, 2006.

  1. A Cow

    A Cow OT Supporter

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    ok heres teh scoop.. i said something HORRIBLY wrong and my GF took it in such a wrong way.. ( she was about ready to cry ) i feel soo horrible about it.. she is barley even talking to me now.. she wont even look at me..

    is there anything i can do to try and rectify this?

    note i will NEVER repeate what i said..
     
  2. RubiconSahara

    RubiconSahara OT Supporter

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    send her a card and some flowers. don't force her to talk about it until she is ready, but you do need to correct her understanding of whatever you said soon. A woman's memory is like a bank vault and they never forget anything.
     
  3. A Cow

    A Cow OT Supporter

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    aye i was already thinking about them flowers..

    just i dont think correcting it will help much.. she seems perty stuck on what i said :/ but il try.. thank you
     
  4. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    the kind of advise and help you are seeking strongly depends on what you said to her. Saying that regardless of your relationship status at the time if given the chance you would have sex with person X is very different from saying that your gf has gotten fat and doesn't respect herself anymore.

    if y'all can't talk things out even when one or both of you are angry there are more issues to work out.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Why did you say what you said? Were you drunk? Extremely angry? Tell us what the situation was at least if you won't tell us what you said. Although, as others have said, it would really help us if you told us.
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I would recommend you do NOT send flowers and a card. That's like trying to buy your way out of it. It lowers your position to her because it proves you cannot even talk about your mistakes, so you'll likely just do it again and then try to buy your way out of trouble again.

    Go talk to her. Get to the root of the REAL problem (why you said it) and work it out.
     
  7. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Time is a great healer. Give some time and don't crowd her. If you said it while under the influence, grovel some. However, do what you can to convince her you really didn't mean it. Remember, when people are drunk, they often say things they mean but don't say when they are sober. She probably knows that. Examine if you really did mean it and if you don't want to, do something to change the situation, but don't crowd her. You may want resolution on this quickly, but that's probably because you are uncomfortable with the situation, not because she is. You'll just have to allow her to work this out in her own time.

    If you said it completely unknowingly (meaning a total open-mouth-insert-foot moment), then time is the only thing that will heal it. Doing something about it will probably make it worse. The only thing you CAN do is work on being more aware of how you come across and maybe find some athlete's mouth cream.
     
  8. albasha

    albasha New Member

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    what did u say
    just be nice buy her a carf flowers or chocolate and promise her that u wont say that shit again
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    see Poco's post above for why buying something for her is a bad idea for a way to deal with this problem
     
  10. albasha

    albasha New Member

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    when u buy flower and a nice card she will feel that u r sorry, because those art not things u do ocasionaly
     
  11. caribou

    caribou New Member

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    were you in the wrong or did she interpret what you said incorrectly? the statement above makes it seem like you know you said something you shouldn't have.

    apologize if you want to be with her and rectify the problem, but don't gloss it over with flowers and cards and chocolates. If you said something nasty, apologize and deal with the consequences. If she interpreted something incorrectly, explain her misinterpretation to her. But dont try and buy your way out, that's lame and unhealthy for both of you.
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    i can somewhat understand why you dont want to say, but we really cant give you any advice without having any idea what sort of thing you said...
     
  13. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    How are you gonna ask for advice and not even tell us what you said?
     
  14. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Look at it this way. If you can't even admit openly and honestly what you did to create a problem, how can you deal it.

    The very first thing you have to do is to define the problem clearly. It's like a math equation. We can't help you solve it if you're not willing to state the equation.

    You screwed up. Now you have to deal with it, and part of dealing with it involves being able to acknowledge it. If you can't tell us what you said, it's like you're trying to hide from it and not acknowledge it.

    Be a man. Own up to what you did, and put it out in the open for us to help you deal with it.
     
  15. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Leaving obvious unanswered questions are annoying as fucking hell.

    I hate it when girls do that in conversation just to make sure you're participating in the conversation.
     
  16. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    TELL US WHAT YOU SAID. how do you expect to hear good advice without us knowing what happened. not to mention anyone who knows what they're doing thinks you already have huge issues for not being able to say, on a FACELESS INTERNET FORUM, what you said. come on man.
     
  17. krott5333

    krott5333 Guest

    so..

    what did you say?
     
  18. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    first off making her about ready to cry isnt that BAD of a thing as you are making it, but it's good you care. 2ndly if we dont know the degree of what you said we can't really tell you how to approach it.
     
  19. SlvrCivLT621

    SlvrCivLT621 New Member

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    Don't buy her anything. It won't rectify the situation and it seems as though you are trying to buy your way out of it. I said something to my b/f the other night that came out really bad. We were at a store and he ended up walking out of the store and went as far as starting to walk home at 3am. We've been in a couple little fights since and I always want to talk about it and fix it as soon as it happens, that's just how I am. My b/f on the other hand doesn't want to talk and likes to blow off steam and think before he confronts me. Don't keep trying to get her to talk, it just makes things worse. I've learned to just give him his space to deal with the situation and wait for him to come and talk to me about what happened.

    The best thing to do is just give her space and wait for her to come and talk to you. also gives you time to think about what you want to say to her. Good luck man.
     
  20. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I refuse to help you. You aren't mature enough to handle any help I might try to give you, seeing as how you can't even man up and admit what you did wrong.
     
  21. Mr. Kitty Litter

    Mr. Kitty Litter OT Supporter

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    WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY!?!?!?! :ugh: lc
     
  22. Elaine

    Elaine New Member

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    Prove you didn't mean it by acting completely differently than you would if you did mean it.

    But... I bet you did mean it (why else would you say it?) and she'll just have to decide if she can live with it or not. Give her time.
     
  23. Daddy O

    Daddy O Active Member

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    It was probably one of the top ten things a man SHOULD NOT say to a woman....
    10. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?"

    9. "Ohh, you are so cute when you get pissed off."

    8. "You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread."

    7."Wait a minute...I get it.. what time of the month is it?"

    6. "You sure you don't want to consult the Great Oprah on this one?"

    5. "Sorry. I was just picturing you naked."

    4. "Whoa, time out honey. Football is on."

    3. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl of BEE-AHTCH Flakes this morning."

    2. "Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?"

    AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A WOMAN

    1."Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded".

     
  24. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    I get number 8 and 7 :squint: I guess it doesnt really bug me. I dont think any of those sound that horrible. And he would never say number 1 :)
     
  25. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Actually #1 sounds just like what most girls I know look for in a partner.... Cocked and Loaded :mamoru:
     

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