SRS I figured out something about myself today v.attraction.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by deusexaethera, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I've been single for several years now, not liking it too much, but with no attraction to specific women. Except the ones I work with, anyway. :coolugh: Yes, it's a little awkward.

    There are three women in my office:

    The software tester. Mid-30's, married, Indian. Skinny. Tries to teach her little boys how to resolve disputes non-violently, which is cute but also irritating. Won't hit her kids no matter how much they disrespect her; I've offered to hit them for her, and she laughs. Great ass and nice hair. Smart, but a little more feminine than I like. I used to work with her regularly, hardly at all now that the project we were both on is over.

    The office manager. 49, married again, American. Cancer surivior, but doesn't look like it. Saying I'm attracted to her is a stretch, but she's good-looking for her age and she's concluded that we are "work spouses". We eat lunch together often, and literally no topic is off-limits when we're not physically in the office. Confessed to participating in wet T-shirt contests back in the 80's. Mature enough that she doesn't give a shit about the posturing and prejudice that women younger than middle-age seem to be obsessed with, which I really like. If she were 20 years younger, single, and capable of having children, I'd definitely ask her out -- but then, she wouldn't be the person I like anymore.

    The new girl. I don't really know what her job title is yet, but she does a bunch of stuff with CAD and spreadsheets. 23, single (I think), at least half Taiwanese. A little shorter than me. Smallish breasts, ass isn't there, and she slouches a little bit like she's still insecure about her womanhood. Likes to rock-climb and snowboard; this makes me feel like a fat lazy slob. Carries a laptop bag instead of a purse. Likes knitted jackets with popped collars. She laughs at my jokes. She's also the daughter of the director of another division of the company, who works in my office as well.

    - - -

    It should be pretty obvious that I got to thinking about what I'm attracted to because of the last one, so I might as well go ahead and say there's not a chance in hell I'd go out with her without making sure her father is cool with it. I'm not about to risk losing my job in the middle of a recession.

    Anyway, I've concluded that I'm not attracted to women who are particularly feminine; you'll notice none of these women is at home baking cookies. Actually, it would be better to say I'm repulsed by feminine behavior, though I've already been there/done that and I know I'm not interested in guys. I mean, I'm attracted to the software tester's intelligence, the office manager's personality and candor, and the new girl's choice of recreational sports. These are not things that girly-girls are known to possess. Even my physical attraction is pretty much inversely-related to the size of their breasts, though the common thread of "they got parts I don't" is definitely there.

    I suppose it might seem obvious given what I listed off, but honestly, it never occurred to me before. I've dated a small number of women, and I was always more comfortable with the ones that were less feminine, but I simply never put 2+2 together. I have no idea why.

    So the next question is, where the fuck do I meet tomboys that I'm not working with, and thus can consider dating?
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2009
  2. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    You like accessible women. If your only interests have been in the workplace it could be an indication that you prefer an introduction that lets you feel comfortable before you'll permit yourself to risk being the slightest bit romantically interested.

    Tell a couple of people in the office that you're trying to meet people. That life has been a little uninteresting & you need to break free of your uh ... rut. Break the ice. They may show interest in going out & you run into the possibility that they'll be willing to introduce you to people casually. You could set up group activities (I prefer befriending people who love doing that vs doing all myself, even if they're annoying) like dinner or drinks then a movie. Don't feel uncomfortable if there are a lot of couples willing to go & not a lot of singles - couples will automatically have interest in trying to introduce you to people/set you up.

    Hanging out in that kind of setting would likely provide you with the opportunity you seek. May even surprise you with worthwhile friendships or the girl of your dreams.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    2/3 of them are also asian. did you not notice that?
     
  4. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Corporate USA aOK :thumb up:
     
  5. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Yes, I have noticed that. Not sure if Indian really counts as Asian, since they have the whole subcontinent thing going on, but technicalities aside, yes I noticed.

    Of course, 1 in 6 women in the world is Chinese and 1 in 6 is Indian, so...
     
  6. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I'll be honest, I have a hard time thinking of a single American woman I know who isn't dysfunctional. I'm all for racial and sexual equality, but the feminist movement went wrong somewhere and I don't feel qualified to diagnose it.

    I like a woman who's comfortable being a woman. The problem is, it seems most of the American women who I'm attracted to are not comfortable being women. That's where the tomboy thing comes into play; they're at least comfortable not being feminine, instead of being unable to decide between their instincts vs betraying their liberated sisters. That shit drives me up the fucking wall.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    so that means what? that chances are you'd be attracted to them? :ugh:
     
  8. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Ignore 7960's racism....I heard he's also a Stormfront mod. Anyway, I'd applaud the Indian woman for having the courage to raise her children the way she wants instead of the social norms of her culture.

    Personally I have roughly dated only tomboys. But I've learned that women are women. They all have their issues and whatnot, with the main one of these types is that if you want to get with one, you'd better be more of a man than she is. That said, you can find them at the rock climbing gym, arcades, rap concerts, and county fairs. :)
     
  9. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    It might be a defense mechanism, but I'd rather describe it as "I don't feel like entertaining them while they decide whether to pay attention to me." But either way, the effect is the same; yes, I like women with whom I already have something in common that I can talk/do with them. (Besides sex, that is. That's not something I want to share with just anybody.)

    It's worth a shot, I suppose.
     
  10. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    No, that statistically speaking 2 in 6 women I'm attracted to will be Chinese or Indian.
     
  11. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    racism? what the fuck is wrong with you?

    I pointed out they're also asian. How is that racist? Was it also racist when someone in the gym last night said "which guy is Sean?" and I said "the black guy over there"? I could have said "he's the 5'9" guy in shorts next to the cooler" but there were 4 guys who fit that description, and Sean was the only black guy.

    Racist..........you dumb fuck. It's not racist to notice race.
     
  12. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :ugh:

    statistically, that's wrong. you might be able to make an argument that 2/6 you meet in your life will be chinese or indian, but you're physically attracted to who you're attracted to based on physical looks, not sheer numbers of women.
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Shut the fuck up. Do you hear these words that are coming out of my mouth? SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Don't dare dream of speaking to me like that. I'm perfectly capable of snapping your fucking spine in half, and I'm perfectly willing to do it. You fucking faggot, you have no idea what you're getting yourself in to. I'll rip your spine out from your fucking throat, and i'll use it as a dildo to assrape your mom with while I make her gag on my fucking cock. Then I'll pull your shit-covered spine out from your mothers asshole, and force your father to lick the shit off of it while I jizz in his fucking mouth at the same time. I'll make your dad snowball the resulting mouthful of your moms shit and my cum, over to your little sister, who i'll force to fucking gargle it while i rape her in the asshole and whip her with a belt. All of this will be in front of your spineless, dying body, laying on the floor waiting to die. The last fucking thing you'll ever see is me castrating your fucking dad and shoving his dick down your throat until you fucking suffocate.
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    oh, so you're a child and can't come up with anything of your own.

    back to dismissing your posts :rolleyes:
     
  15. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I wasn't aware you were an expert on my sexual preferences. :hsugh:

    I'm attracted to women of every ethnicity. I don't look below the neck for much except to make sure they're not shaped like fruit; most of what I care about is inside their heads. So I'll stick with my previous statement, thank you very much.
     
  16. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    quixote, get your shit out of my thread.
     
  17. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Yeah that's right. BACK THE FUCK DOWN.
     
  18. Phantom

    Phantom Active Member

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    Go out. Talk to strangers, especially women.

    You have been single for several years?

    If all 3 women you have any interest in are at your work and you have no realistic chance with them, my guess is that you don't have much interaction with women in general. Who knows, what you like in women could very well change as you get to know more women.

    When I was younger and less confident I would feel attraction to nearly any halfway decent looking girl who paid me attention. I read a bit of this in your post.
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    White, southern. Not sure exactly where the genetics are from.

    What's your point.
     
  20. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Go out? Talk to strangers? Okay. Where? I already said I don't like the scenes in most of the places people congregate.

    The women at my work are not the only women I'm attracted to at all, they're just the ones I know well enough to know what I like about them. Physical attraction is important, but to me it's only important when I have other reasons to like someone; a cute bitch is not going to get any attention from me. As such, I didn't see fit to list off other women I know casually who I have nothing but nothing in common with.

    One of my fantasies is that someday I'll meet a slim, pretty girl who plays pool because she likes the skill involved, and who will neither lose to me on purpose nor feel like she has to prove something to me by winning. That should give you some idea of what I'm looking for.
     
  21. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Slightly off-topix but dude, you NEVER hit a kid.
     
  22. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Children below a certain age don't have the capacity for rational thought to understand complex explanations about things that might happen tht they have no firsthand knowledge of. (case in point: I didn't learn what "hot" was until I touched a lightbulb. My mom said "hot". It never happened again.) On the other hand, a quick WHACK! followed by a clear command can do wonders, because the less-evolved parts of the human brain respond to such things exactly the same way they do in other mammals. All mammals smack their kids when they act up, and kids instinctively learn from it. The lack of that sort of ingrained experience that "something bad will happen the instant after I do something stupid" carries a lot of blame for the recent rise in adolescent violence in this country. You just don't see that shit in other places, even if those places have more guns floating around than we do. Why? Because kids get their asses kicked for doing stupid things in most places in the world, which teaches them that bad actions have bad consequences better than any 15-minute timeout ever could.

    Now, if you beat your kid with an electrical cord because he got crumbs on the carpet, then no, that's not productive.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
  23. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Anyway, to revisit the original topic of this thread: yes, these women are accessible, but moreover, they are intelligent. I get to see them using their brains every single day. The office manager is not so much so, but she's enough older than me that her experience makes up for it. What I really need in a woman is someone I can talk to about what comes to mind (and some very very geeky things come to my mind, I assure you) and they'll understand it, or at least humor me. Physical attraction is secondary to that -- a close second, but second nonetheless.

    So where can I meet intelligent women (who don't just use their intelligence as a weapon) outside of work?
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009

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