I feel weird being this way in bed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Dec 2, 2007.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Sometimes I like to be submissive. But it leaves me feeling this weirdly guilty thing like I'm not being Teh Man. Meanwhile I've developed a strong dominant streak in bed so it's not usually an issue - but I feel like this is an important thing for me to work out in order to be sexually complete as a man. :o

    I'd post this in Freakyshiat but this is more of a philosophical / relationship / feelings type thread than it is a sexual thread, so I figured it made more sense with our lovely vaginarium audience.

    I think this post I read on mASF sums it up best:

    "I go out and pick-up, do all these alpha behaviors and stuff to get these women
    to have sex with me. Then when I actually get them in bed, I go all sub... you
    know, have them tie me up & spank my ass & shit. They almost always get into
    it, since I lead them in that direction, and when they don’t I have no problem
    just banging them in a regular style. I mean, they never leave unsatisfied, I
    just think it’s funny how I get them by being this fucking bad ass
    motherfucker, when I just wanna be their little bitch. I mean, I guess in the
    end I’m still the dominant one since they are doing what I want them to do; it
    seems kinda incongruent, tho."

    That's about where I am.

    If anyone can offer rationalizations for why I shouldn't feel weird going sub I'd appreciate it.
     
  2. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    it prolly stems from a natural shyness that many of us men have to overcompensate for to keep up our alpha male status. Its ok. Id love a girl to take control sometimes, but I wouldnt rely on it...
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Whereever it comes from, I'd like to embrace it. It's one flavor of sex and I believe in tasting the rainbow. Repeatedly.

    I just don't have the rationalization to make it feel OK when I do indulge it.
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I don't understand the problem.
    You feel guilty indulging in this act, even though it brings pleasure to you and your consenting partner?
     
  5. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Meh, good point, I'll get over it. Hopefully.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You've made a thread about this before. Get over it, you are enjoying yourself.
     
  7. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    you are feeling weid because being sub (in bed) is not congruent with who you are out of bed (dom/alpha).

    but eventually you will become more comfortable with it as you recognize that a) you enjoy it and b) your partner enjoys it.

    there is nothing wrong with having different ''identities'' in bed. if you always did the same thing, you and your partner would get bored. as long as you and your partner are both happy and having fun, i'd say you're not doing anything wrong.

    i just reread my post and realized that it probably wont help u rationalize it internally, which is what you were asking for. sorry. let me think about that a bit more.
     
  9. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    the person being dominated is the person who has the power. (s)he can end it all in an instant with the safety word.

    or something
     
  10. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    embrace the fact that she like to play and explore roles with you. not everyone has that luxury to indulge in sexual role play/power exchange. don't feel less of a man for playig sub... if anything you are more of a man by being mature and realizing whatyou want sexually and getting it from your partner.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    wow, 3 great responses in a row. thanks folks :hug:
     
  12. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Sex is where you get to explore IMO. I have a feeling that a handful of the girls you experience this with probably enjoy having you be submissive. It shows them you can be a bad ass when you need to be (and in public) but when you're with them you're comfortable enough to let your guard down and be yourself.

    Admittedly I'm not too experienced but it's a guess.
     
  13. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    Your prolly feeling guilty because you act a specific way to attract them into your bed then change 180 once you have them there. Which could be rationalized as deceitful, thus the stem of your guilty feelings.

    But, if you get her back there and shes into it as much as you are. Why not enjoy it?
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: A post right before mine he said "I should just get over it," I was just further pointing out that yes, he should get over it. He's made threads about this before in here and FS and I just don't undertstand stressing about it. He's already analyzed what's going on and how he feels. If he's enjoying being submissive in the bedroom here and there then who cares?
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I understand where you are coming from, but you should give advice here rather than trolling threads, imo (not just because you're a mod!!! simply as a member of this forum). Clearly I already know I should get over it - hence I posted this thread about it.

    In the future, if someone makes a thread saying, "How do I get over this?", it might be more useful for you to give advice (like falconer, PE, etc.), instead of posting, "Just get over it." And if you feel there are useful responses in a similar or duplicate thread elsewhere - feel free to link to them as well. That's helpful too.

    Do you see what I mean?

    Just look above you in the thread for examples of what to do right.
     
  16. NaviQ200

    NaviQ200 New Member

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    The grass always looks greener on the other side.
    are you looking for advice in here or just acceptance from your forum friends? you seem like you know the real reason behind the guilt, could it be that you're in denial?

    One thing i can say is that you're still in charge if you suggested it. If she happened to play the dominant role and you were helpless, then you should feel guilty that you ain't being 'the man' of the relationship, but that doesn't seem to be in this case. Even though you are 'the man' of the relationship most of the time, it's always nice to know what's on the other side of the fence.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you sure this part of your post is in the right thread?

    acceptance from my forum friends / help rationalizing
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowrofl: I am trolling, yes...

    I'm not following you, I'm a mod. If you haven't noticed I enter EVERY thread. That being said, I still don't get why you have to get upset over my comment. You read so far into it it is ridiculous, and I know it's just because it's me. All I said was you are happy doing what you are doing, so just get over it. It's all in your head. You and I both know you've analyzed this to death andeven posted about it before, so I don't know what other advice you want because it's all up to you. You even said that you'd just have to get over it in your first reply, so why get up in arms about my ONE comment? So you like a hot girl telling you what to do in bed, it doesn't make you less of a man, ok?
     
  19. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Everyone's not out to get you :hsugh:

    Please keep this mature. I'm just saying, if you want exemplar behavior, and an explanation for that dude's comment, see some of the stuff other people have posted.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What're you talking about?
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Big tits / small brain? Just fuggeddhaboudit. Sorry I brought it up.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sorry, I don't understand scatter-brained writing.

    Yes, I realize it's a lost cause. Done.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    I can be very scatter brained...

    Have you been flirting with me this whole time and I just misunderstood?
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I've secretly been trying to declare my love for you and hope that you will let me dominate you :rofl:
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    i might feel a little weird about that
     

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