SRS I feel so alone and depressed

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BigBadJohn, Nov 7, 2007.

  1. BigBadJohn

    BigBadJohn Pay-back time OT Supporter

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    Im a total fucking nutcase from the shitty childhood I had. (alcoholic abusive father)
    From that I have a bad temper now and always want to resort to violence.
    Cant get a gf since Im so fucked up
    The only girl Im currently talking to is some bitch that I think is even worse off than me that my neighbor tried to set me up with. She works with his wife. Shes 25 and works part time at a preschool. Shes a home-body, has some sort of seizure problem apparently so she doesnt drink either. Doesnt really go out with friends and stays at home. Volunteers at the nursing home (lucky me)


    My friends are at college while Im going to tech school and I dont have any time/money to see them. Im working at McDonalds making min wage and getting treated like shit. I cant get a different job b/c of my screwed up hours and the fact that the only places open late are McD's and gas stations.
    I just applied to circuit city but couldnt get on there regardless of the fact that I have like 4 or 5 friends that work there.
    Winter is coming and I know Ill have to spend most of my money on gas since my hours are going to go down and gas prices are going to go up.
    I just got a pos 89 Camaro that needs time and money (both of which I dont have) to get road worthy so I cant drive it except around the block (which is a minor felony)
    I take the metrolnk and the bus into North St Louis because I cant even afford to drive all the way to school so Im surrounded by blacks for a few hours every day. Theyre loud and beg for money and piss me the fuck off.

    A couple of my friends now live several hours away and a couple more are talking about moving out to LA soon.

    Life sucks. Wish there was some way to turn it around but Im fucked
    Only thing that gives me pleasure right now is that I started smoking about a month ago.
    Every now and then a bullet sounds like it would be quite tasty
     
  2. somethingstrang

    somethingstrang Active Member

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    You could try giving a 2nd chance for that girl
     
  3. BigBadJohn

    BigBadJohn Pay-back time OT Supporter

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    Its just that shes such a recluse and seems kinda lame.

    She wants me to go with her to the bar down the alley from my house for her aunt and uncles 25th wedding party on Sat night
     
  4. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    :sadwavey: hang in there and yea i agree wiht somethingstrang try that girl do something different ya know?
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You need to understand that negativity leads to nowhere, if you put a seed into the ground and want to grow something positive, how can you achieve that if you keep slamming and stamping that seed back into the ground with negativity? Like your dad did with your life. No a seed needs a fertile ground, water and sunlight to grow. Your personal growth must be the same within a positive fertile ground. You can't live or grow in a positive way within negativity. You harvest what you seed in life, if you put negativity into the lives of others and in yourself, then you will only get the negative rewards which makes you feel horrible as you do now. As a result i advice you to bannish all the hate that you have in your life that was brought by the shitty education that your dad gave you, the aknowledgement that he gave you the worst possible example of how a person should be, then forgiving him, and then starting to go into a new positive direction is the way to go.

    If you are in a rut and stuck with your life, you need to give it a swing in a new and positive direction by carving a new path with your own power.

    Do not expect leperchauns to appear and solve your issues, do not wait, be the dictator of your own life and take the situation in your own hands.

    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    If change was just a thought, then anyone could do it. But reality is that you can't just sit around feeling miserable for yourself and the situation you are in while being punched in the face by the reality of life. Those thoughts of change, can't become real if you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, if you want to change then why would you stay in a state of paralyzation? If that happens it means you do not want to change, you are simply waiting for the world and people to change around you as you see fit, therefore

    Without walking, there's no way to move forward, you'll just end up waiting.
     
  6. Keiphus

    Keiphus my dog eats bears

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    I have no idea how I ended up in this forum, or this thread, but wow, that's such great advice.

    To the OP:
    You seem to have a negative attitude, but you also seem somewhat aware of your negativity. Seems like it would make it that much easier to get rid of. You'll be fine. ;)
     
  7. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    Awesome advice as usual. It seems she's got the last part of her post always copied on her clipboard for this forum. :bowdown:
     
  8. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    move to la? more opportunity mabey
     
  9. 2500

    2500 Guest

    you're not gonna kill yourself, so your bullet insert really was pointless. we woulda given you attention without that, don't worry.

    first thing you have to do is start being a man and take control of YOUR life. stop blaming people for making your life shitty. how old are you? prolly old enough to change your life if you wanted right? sounds like you don't have much difference between those "blacks" you hate so much, so i'd stop looking down on them. they are prolly you in 5 years if you don't stand up, take control of yourself, and stop blaming everyone else for your problems. if you want the result to change, change what your doing. if not, tomorrow will be the same as today.
     
  10. 17%

    17% New Member

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    no, los angeles is a terrible place to live at low incomes.
    our average living cost is a ton compared to most states.
     

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