SRS I feel like I can never measure up...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by vibit, Jan 16, 2005.

  1. vibit

    vibit New Member

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    I have a really bad cognitive style of comparing myself to others especially to my friends and on a physical scale. It brings me down so much to the point where I want to kill myself. And it's difficult to control these thoughts sometimes. I have tons of hang ups about myself and I've always been like that since I was young. I used to get teased about my physical appearance often during rough times at home when I was about 10-13 (my mom was got pregnant with this asshole and is now married miserably to him and there is a lot of chaos at home). (btw i'm 22 now) I even remember trying to kill myself at age 10, after my mom punched me in the face (i can see why because my dad died when i was 5 and she has to carry on all the burdens). I find it hard to gain self-confidence these days and have been in emotionally abusice, and addictive relationships. I had a habit of cutting myself, feel depressed every morning when I wake up and am ALWAYS late for school. And I have a feeling if this continues, I will probably die by age 25. How do I stop comparing myself? Sometimes I even want to start crying in the middle of my sentences when I'm talking about something irrelevant to my negative thinking? I hide it behind smiles and fake laughter and have a number of nervous habits. Is this thinking style going to be cemented into my personality now?
     
  2. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Look at you. You are a mess my friend. But you don't have to be like that. In fact, you can turn your life around.

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1468667

    Read that. See how I turned myself around. Read the advice and quotes that will show you how to increase your self confidence.

    Stop cutting yourself. I recommend you immediatly start seeing a pychologist and phyciatrist.

    If you work on fixing your issues, you will be a happy and healthy person again in no time. You and me have gone through a lot of shit... I got help and I am doing great. Do the same, so your past will just be bad memories.

    PM me. We have a lot in common bud.
     
  3. I use to have the feeling I couldn't measure up. I have since taught myself the only person I need to compete with is myself. I took one issue at a time and found ways to either fix it or deal with it. I find ways to better myself for my own contentment not for someone else. This isn't easy and takes work. Start with the simple things first ie. make yourself get to class on time. Find a friend who is willing to help you through this even if it is having them give you a wake up call. I also agree with Spiritus about seeking counseling. If anything it will give you someone to talk to in confidence and you will not be judged. They could also recommend programs to help you overcome this so called complex you think you have. I believe it is a state of mind that can be triggered by a traumatic incident. One thing that helped me as crazy as this sounds I got up every morning and looked in the mirror and told myself that I am worthy and I love me. It really does help change your state of mind at least it did for me. What do you have to lose maybe give it a try.
     
  4. Definitely too much to cover here(or it could take up page after page). Send me a PM. I'd like to talk to you one on one sometime and see if we can work on that. I'm a Senior Psyc major so, this is my love and I have some knowledge of what's going on. I'd really like to help if I could. No one should have to live feeling like that. I will try to make it so you never have to go another day feeling like that :hug:
     
  5. I feel the same way. But the reason I feel that way is because I can't measure up given the health problems I have. I give my all, but my all is rarely enough. That will change eventually.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    It's to my best advice that you should fully realise that everyone in this world has their own individual road to travel, and that comparing yourself to others is always a bad thing, because you should never look at the things you don't have, but should start to appreciate the things that you do have. The body is just a shell , what is more beautifull , a great looking model who is a bitch or a ugly woman giving a bread to a starving man, that last person is infinite more beautifull then the first, and you have to find peace with yourself in being good of heart. You don't have to own everything or be able to jump 19 feet high, or be the most beautifull person in the world to be happy, you see heaven or hell is a state of mind, if you are in balance with your own mind then you can balance your life with the outside world too. I highly suggest yoga for you as it rebalances your life and makes you feel in harmony with nature. Now go out and make something worthwhile of your life, cutting yourself is of no use, imagine yourself being locked in a room, what helps more whining about being locked or a key to get out? You need to find the key to your problems, and directly confront them, when you use the right key(approuch) to your problems the door will open and you can leave the problem behind you. That's so essential, if you want to live happy you need to do things that make you happy, until you reach the point that you can say to yourself im such a beautifull loving person in the inside, no matter what other people say i reckocnize and embrace my own beauty for my love for others.

    Every person has an important mission to forfill in life , you cannot die before you have forfilled this purpose, it doesn't matter how depressed you are , the only thing that matters is that you give it a try for your best, so let's get started with your life. You need to fix up your life, otherwhise your depression and the past will haunt you for the rest of your life. Be brave, give a kickass to life, what you have to do if it's all to much for you, you have to say to yourself,no matter if my opponent is stronger, i cannot lose, i wil not lose, i am different , i am not going to run away anymore. You can't let your fears stop you from reaching your goals, and even if everything is regrettable what you do, if you did your best then that's everything you possibly could do, and that's what counts.
     
  7. RuMmIe

    RuMmIe Guest

    dude i know how u feel my mum was with an asshole and he constantly beat us (i have a scar on my right hand between my pinky and that finger lol) due to him burning me with a pipe....(he was a druggo).
    there wasnt much i could do at the time cos i was only 7....he also tried drownin me in the bath tub...and also my mum was pregnant to him and lost the baby cos he punched her in the stomach and all the stress he was causing. i could of had a little bro or sis but ill never know :(. and i wish i coulda beat the fuck outta him (im 21 now btw) so it was a while ago but it still plays over in my head. everywhere we went he would find us and beat us more....
    he died (thank fuck for that) drug overdose and i think he got what he deserved.
    i used to get teased in high school and primary school and always having family probs...my mum punched me in the face once (was 14 at the time) and i didnt know what to do so i just dropped to the floor and cried.....shit was just replayin over and over in my head i didnt know what to do....
    but anyway i had it ruff and so did mum but she realised what se was doing and changed....now happily married and has 2 daughter (my sisters) to which i adore and so does she.
    Myself im alot happier now ive turned my life around bigtime... i have a g/f which i love to death and im a fater to be shortly so.. mate its up to you to make things better for yourself it took me a while but in the long run if u wanna be happy in life and succeed just try to put it in the back of ya mind and move on like i have done :)...
    ITs hard to start with but in the end it just comes naturally mate :)
     
  8. vibit

    vibit New Member

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    Thanks all for the great advice and support. I really appreciate it.:hug: I felt better after I read the "You can overcome depression" article. I think I might have some sort of mild chemical imbalance in the morning because I woke up today crying but an hour later I'm fine again. (I was thinking also about my ex-boyfriend whom I broke up with about a month ago - we went out for 7 mos) And also my problem also lies in maintaining tenacity and good habits. I do try to overcome my negative thinking. But it's a hard battle to fight, because it's the only way i knew of.
     
  9. RuMmIe

    RuMmIe Guest

    yeah it was the only way i knew aswell but......its all in the mind :) so just apply yourself and watch the results
     
  10. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    Spiritus has a lot of good advice... follow his lead.

    You don't have to wind up dead by 25 and are not doomed to a shitty life....
     
  11. vibit

    vibit New Member

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    Oh man, just when the weather gets bad....i have a relapse and i hacked my wrist again. it's really bad.....i shouldn't have looked at my old pictures. I can't stop thinking poisonous thoughts. It doesn't help that my ex had a thing for my best friend either. AGHHHHHHHHH!!! I feel so low and ugly. I hate this superficial world!
     

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