SRS I feel insane

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by keanu, Apr 24, 2005.

  1. keanu

    keanu Guest

    I Have been diagnosed bipolar type 2, manic deppressive, and depersonalization disorder. My brain is completely messed up, everyday i wake up and feel like im living inside a video game, like a dream i have been trying so hard to get better and just move on but i feel like my life is over. I just feel like everything i dreamed of becoming has gone away and will never come back. I am on medication right now and feel like a zombie. I just wish i could go back in time and change myself. You only have 1 life and i wasted it. I really dont want to die but i feel its something that has to happen. :wtc:
     
  2. keanu

    keanu Guest

    i keep hearing voices and they keep telling me im a worthless piece of shit and today i was at the supermarket , i hallucinated because there was a man with dirty clothes and a bloody face who said to me " End yourself james" (my name) in a whispering tone, at first i couldn't understand what he said but then i put the words together. I keep seeing things crawling on the walls like little bugs and every once in a while i see a dead soldier in my closet
     
  3. TechMo

    TechMo New Member

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    that would drive me insane....I'm speechless...really don't know what to say...sorry...
     
  4. Z PYRATE

    Z PYRATE Guest

    sounds like a scary movie, why not befriend these hallucinations and fuck with them, you cant really fear death at this point, can you? Might as well enjoy your life while its here.


    You got dealt a shitty hand it looks like. Not your fault but why not play it anyways...dont fold so early who knows what happens when the next card hits?
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You are your own judge, and honestly don't judge yourself too hard. You know instead of looking at the things you haven't achieved look at the thing you have achieved. Things that you have build, that you are happy when making and loved to do. Start with small things. Cook a meal, succesfully, then make a smal thing out of clay. Making a nice drawing and with all those things start what you finished. And slowly climb out, you see all talents have to be develloped , they don't fall out of the sky. You master them so you can call them your own possesion and this takes time and effort, so start out with small things that you know you CAN achieve. Help and love others, and if you do that and volenteer to help out your mom, dad, or others. You will feel usefull, and know that you are loved, and that you can bring light and love into other people's lives. That way you aren't useless, you are never useless unless you say so, you are your own judge. Life is what you make it , celebrate that. Do things that focus on your stability. Try to make your brain as stable as possible, and find out what prevents your hallucinations,and what provokes them. There's 2 major things you should be aware of Construction + destruction , only focus on construction in your life. Build up possession and loving others. That way you will have something to live for. :)
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    its never to late to pick up the peices and start to build something, no matter how small. glad to see you are trying to get help, perhaps there are alternitive drugs out there, or a different therepist.

    these hallucinations, do they scare you or do you act on them? can you tell the difference between reality and non reality? can you stand back objectively and see them for what they really are?
     
  7. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    what drugs did they give you?

    I have bipolar disorder, sounds like you're either terribly depressed or horribly manic, I suspect the former.

    truth is, theres nothing you could have done to prevent it or cause it.. either born with it or not.
     
  8. keanu

    keanu Guest

    im on risperdone and zoloft, the antipsychotic helps but not all the time i still see things from time to time. The stuff i hear doesnt make sense like something out of this world. Hallucinations are frightling real just like as real as anything. I am very scared of them and i try not to look but they are like nightmares. I could see bugs on my walls, mysterious shadows, to dead people walking on the street like people without there heads. Dead soldiers and alien figures. I am very scared of the aliens, they try to kill me in my sleep
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Everytime you get a delusion, or illusion. Pray to god, and ask to make it go away. Along with praying our father. It helped me when i was having strange para thing happening to me. It's worth a try.
     
  10. Bean

    Bean Guest

    I'm bipolar with psychotic features also, I have visual and audial hallucinations all the time. I take my meds, and see my therapist, and that helps, but it doesn't cure.

    Over the course of the past four years, I've learned a few tricks in dealing with my mental health.

    The first is....have fun questioning reality...if it's a bug I'm seeing, then joke around with someone, see if it's real or a hallucination, if it's hallucination, ignore it.

    There's more, but right now I'm so tired I am having trouble thinking straight, and my symptoms are kicking in big time. The bugs on the screen are blocking my view for me to make sure I'm at least spelling the words correctly.

    It's important to gather a support network, by any and all means and avenues available.
     

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