SRS I feel I just can't trust anyone anymore.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by lick wid nit wit, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    I know I've replied to a lot of posts here but I've never made a thread so here goes.

    Pretty much all my life I've been let down by many people in my life. Ex-fiance, last relationship, family members and friends in general. I've gotten to the point where I just can't and won't trust anyone. Whether it be something big or something small.... I need constant reassurance from people that they won't let me down.

    It's gotten to the point that if someone flakes on me even once for something small I write them off immediately and an not willing to give them a second chance. I'm probably killing off a lot of potential friendships and relationsips here but it just hurts me too much when someone pulls a flake move on me.

    Anyways, I just needed to vent. Someone flaked on me on fucking Christmas Day and, well, it really got me upset.

    Merry Christmas.
     
  2. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    I see no problem not trusting the ex-fiance, or last relationship. You may want to trust the family unless they have committed some carnal sin against you.
     
  3. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I am the same way, slowly but surely you will gain other peoples' turst again.

    It just takes time.

    It sucks that I'm saying this and it's probably cruel, but just to them what they've done to you....if someone flakes you, and they need you in some way at another time, flake on them and act like it's nothing....they'll learn

    I'm sorry to hear you're upset and what-not

    Merry Christmas though
     
  4. black pearl

    black pearl New Member

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    I know how you feel. Everyone in my life has really disappointed me in some form or way ... but it took time to heal my wounds ... not even just that, but for my family and friends that disappointed me, they took into realization how much they hurt me, and over time they took the time to slowly gain back my trust. when it comes down to it, you can't really trust anybody but yourself. learn to forgive, but seriously, never forget. merry christmas, and look at a bright point, you're not the only person that got flaked on on christmas, my whole family left me and went somewhere else! :wavey:
     
  5. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    this may be very pessimistic of me, but do you have extremely high thoughts of others?
     
  6. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    LMAO. No, actually.
     
  7. darnit

    darnit New Member

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    Are you sure? We tend to forget that people are generally messed up. Myself included..
    You said you write them off if they mess up on small stuff. .. Hmm.. How about you let the small stuff slide, and then let them know that it has bothered you before in the past.
    I'll give you a personal example.
    My wife will say somehting is bothering her. Me being a man, and as well able to turn a screwdriver.. I want to fix it.. whatever IT is..emotional, Mental,physical, etc..Even if she is just talking aloud to herself and I overhear her..
    But I cant fix everything.
    We had a long discussion concerning it. I told her how I felt, and we came to an agreement.. if she doesnt want me to "fix" IT, she tells me "I'm just venting" or " Im just speaking aloud".
    The real probelm , just by your statements is that you let people tell you things that could fall through and then hold them responsible for thier EXACT words.
    Most people can accept a certain amount of leeway.. you seem to think that everyone should be an exact science.. again.. only going by your
    statement.
    How about trying this.. if someone says"l meet you at such and such place at such and such time" respond by saying "cool, if your running late , at least give me a call".. or if they say ' I promise Ill do this or that" Respond by saying.. "look , dont promise me things if there is even a small chance of it not happening, how about you tell me you wil give it your best instead"
    This way it leaves them a small out if something happens and you dont feel so much of a loss in trust.
    Just my 2 cents
     

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