Kinda an update to all this in here http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2635769 well that same night I found out about my ex seeing someone, the personwho told me about it called me. This person was the ex of the guy my ex was seeing...We talked for a bit about what was going on, and it really helped. She made me realize that I could finally be able to move on. My ex was moving on, so why should I cling on a hope that there was still a chance. It was a relief to get that burden of me trying to save something that wasn't there.I was ok. That same weekend I jumped fully into christianity, and accepted what went on. I call my ex on sunday, and tell her I need to talk to her and see her. I go to her place, and basically tell her i'll always be there for her. I am and always am going to be her friend. i add that if she ever needs anything to ask. I say my goodbyes and call her on the way home. I tell her thanks for the good times, and if she ever needs a drinking buddy to give me a call.She agrees and we end it there. So monday rolls around and turns out that the girl that told me about her ex and my ex doesnt want them together. My ex calls me to help her out and get this girl off her back...I get dragged into this drama, and it basically ends up in me taking the blame for everything Without getting into specifics I say that I was the one saying lies, and that all this drama was my fault....only my ex knows i wasn't the one lying...She texts me after it's over thanking me, and saying I'm a good friend. This girl who told me about everything now doesn't like me...I told her I was her friend too... Well anyways I guess I kind of did it for myself too...to prove to myself that I could live without her. All this time the girl who brought me to church is also in her own drama. She had this boyfriend that she has been seeing on and off for about 3 years. Well anyways they were in one of thier phases, and she was ready for a relationship...He wasn't so she said that they should just be friends and not friends with benefits ans they had been for about 5 months now. He accepts her decision and they go on their marry little lives. The reason she did this is to make him realize all the effort she was putting into them. Well 3 days later he calls her and tells her that he's seeing some other chick. This absolutely crushes her....She is completely done with this dude and I couldn't be happier. See i really like her and always have, but she was in love with this guy. Well a week goes by and we talk almost everyday. She makes progress and today she tells me she is ready to move on and start seeing someone else. This girl is beautiful, smart, caring,and simply wonderful to be around, this is a girl you marry and never let go.My hear beats with happiness and anticipation. Well she ends up telling me that she is going out on a date with some guy on saturday ok...I guess i just had some hope she would consider me, but I now that's wishful thinking too...well I walk her to her car and tell her I'll see her friday at work, and that's that. I don't expect anything here anymore. Today I get home and I find out the girl who had told me about my ex is seeing someone else now. I'm really happy for her, but makes me realize something too. Everyone is happy and great except me...my ex and her dude are having the time of their lives with each other...The girl I like which is my best friend to me is excited and very happy to be going out with this other guy on saturday, and even the girl who had her bf stolen by my ex is happly seeing someone too. Everyone is fine and dandy except for me.. I feel empty. I'm walking blindly not really knowing what to do. I have no goals, no ambitions at all. I like living a simple kind of life, so i could care less about going to school right now and being succesful...i'm fine with my lifestyle. if i had someone to spend my life with, I would go back to school, and be succesful just to give them the whole world. But that's not the case. Once again i am sad. i know I saved myself from eternal damnation, by taking up christianity. I guess what I want right now is for this life to be over so i can get on with eternal life where happiness is promised. I see nothing in this life for me...I wish it would speed up. I'm ready to be happy now... Sorry for the novel, but i guess writing helps speed up this game called life. I look back st everything that has happened and wonder how i survived this trainwreck. I just patiently wait to be rescued. Everything is out of my hands.