SRS I don't want to be happy

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by freelove, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. freelove

    freelove New Member

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    I don't know what it is.

    I push everyone away. I want to go to hell and I hate God, and I used to have a strong faith.

    I have cut off contact with all of my "friends" but a few very close ones.

    I think the problem is that I'm in love with someone I can't have. We did something stupid and I worry every day that she regrets it. I don't contact her because I don't want her to think about me or it. I don't even know if she thinks about it or regrets it. I just want her to be happy. I'm not interested in anyone else, I'm content being alone until either she is ready or until I die.

    It's been about a year since I felt any other way. I won't go to therapy or a psychiatrist, I would just kill myself first.

    Anyhow, I just thought I'd share.
     
  2. freelove

    freelove New Member

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    Wow, I just realized today is valentines day. This post has nothing to do with that, today is just a normal day.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You cannot change the past, you can only improve the future. Living as a hermit is wrong, going into a closet and being depressed over your mistakes is useless. Rather give a swing to your life into a positive constructive direction and become the best possible man you can be in life.

    Of course you want to goto hell, and of course you curse God for all the misery.

    Don't blame god.Don't blame your parents. You are responsible for who you are. If you want to change who you are, fucking do it. Blaming your genes or your invisible friend and continuing to live the lifestyle you hate will get you nowhere. Accept that you dug the hole you are in, now you've gotta pull yourself out of it if that is indeed what you want to do.

    Throwing in the towel is the worst you can do, you'll just be reincarnated and will have to live thru the same pain again up till the point that you commited suicide and then you have pass that moment that you comitted suicide anyway, so why waste your time?

    Life is a training for the soul, its supposed to be hard. That's how you learn, you think you'll learn anything valuable from laying on the beach or relaxing?

    There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our inherent weakness of purpose. That's why you have to give more meaning to your meaningless life.

    Look there's only 3 directions in life , You can go down the drain, you can stay where you are and go around in circles, or can improve and be a better person, the first 2 are worthless, the last one is the only in which you improve your own situation.

    Or in other words happyness is not automatic, you have to earn what you receive in life.

    To achieve happyness you will have to love and help other people, this is the ONLY thing in the universe that can make you happy. And understand that whining and complaining is useless. This because words without action = 0. Heck , im like you in that regard that i would like happyness served on a plate , its a painfull discovery to understand that life doesn't work that way.

    Lazyness is the cause of failures, and impossible ambitions tend to disintegrate in the face of reality. This is why you should never have gone into an impossible relationship with the thought of 'it will work out because it concerns my case ' reality is that it was doomed before it started, that you failed to see this is the reason why you are feeling miserable now.

    Life doesn't have to be this way, be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad events/things/people and open yourself up to good things/people/events and if you only do things that make you happy, then you will become happy yourself.Again you do this by loving and helping other people.

    Hell or heaven isn't a place , its a state of mind. You hate because you are unsatisfied, that means you do not understand that you yourself are a source that has to work for itself to make it happy.

    I don't blame you for not wanting to go to a psychiatrist, somewhere lingering in your conciousness you think that its only for looneys. But the fact that you understand that there is a problem that you have to work on is a good beginning.
     

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