FRK i dont think my hubby trusts me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Big Red, Jun 27, 2005.

  1. Big Red

    Big Red New Member

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    ok well my hubby was home for two weeks for enviromental leave (he is in the military, deployed to Iraq) Anyway, I was basically telling him what I wanted him to do to me. I told him i wanted him to spank me, not just an occasional slap on the ass, i told him i wanted him to apply pressure to my throat, and i told him i wanted him to slap me in the face. i told him this while actual just sitting and talking, not while we were in the heat of the moment. I mean i showed him how i wanted it and i told him that if it did get to be to much then i would make it very clear.(safe word)

    well he told me he didnt feel comfortable doing it because he was afraid i would get upset with him then use sex as a way to get him to hit me and such and then i would call the MPs (Military Police) on him for domestic abuse. I couldn't think of anything to say to this, other than "basically you dont trust me" and he didnt say anything in response. so i dont know what i am supposed to do. I mean i know i have to be supportive and strong, because of what he is going through day in and day out in combat, but i just hope that after he gets home from the deployment and has some time to clear his head, he will realize that i want him to do this for my sexual gratification, i want to be treated like a dirty lil whore, i want to be fucked not "made love" to. not that there is anything wrong with that but it just isnt my cup of tea.

    Sorry about the issuez but i wanted to vent somewhere that i dont feel like i am being judged.
     
  2. Metalifann

    Metalifann The Minivan Can Nevar Lose! OT Supporter

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    I need to find a chick like you and marry her.
     
  3. imori

    imori Phasma En Machina

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    wow. I wish I had some advice for this, but I honestly havent been in this situation before.

    The only thing I can suggest is try to convince him that its purely sexual, but it sounds like you have genuinely tried, so :dunno:

    from his point of view, is it possible that he might have had an experience with this kind of sex and just had a bad experience. He might just not think of it as his cup of tea and just using this as an excuse, thinking it might hurt your feelings if he just said no. He might be scared that he might hurt you in the process - I know that you want a safe word, but that doesnt mean that he doesnt think he might hurt you in his own head.

    Then ofcourse, he might genuinely be just that paranoid that you would do such a thing as use the marks as "evidence" against him with the MPs. Im not sure whats more fucked up: The idea that someone would lie about that kinda thing or that he would think that you, his wife, would do the lieing.

    in any case, you really need to talk to him.

    good luck :hug:
     
  4. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Big Red, haven't you had these problems before? Getting him to treat you like you want to be?

    On the flip side, not that I agree with his reasoning, but I also have a hard time doing the same. One of my exes was really into breath play, I did get into it a bit, but then realized that I was getting TOO into it, and feared that I might go too far, so I had to stop. To this day I can't go through with it.
     
  5. tom37211

    tom37211 New Member

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    You want to nip this in the bud? Here is a suggestion. Write out exactly and explicitly what you want him to do to you. Be as detailed as you can in an objective sort of way. Sign it. Hell, have it notarized and then give him that piece of paper. Then the trust issue will be on the other foot. That will show him just how much you trust him because, basically, that will give him carte blanch to basically whip your ass if her is so inclined. But that may just alleviate any abuse concerns he may worry about you levying on him. I can’t imagine a commander looking at that permission slip you gave your husband and not have it carry great weight in any decision he may have to make should you cry foul later on with finger prints around your throat and hand prints on your ass. :spank:

    Good luck.

    PS. Tell him thanks by the way. I know the job he is doing sucks. I think I can speak for the vast majority here when I say that I hope he stays safe and sound.:wavey:

    PPS. I think I can also speak for the majority when I say that I hope you cum at least once for every waking hour of the rest of his stay!:naughty:
     
  6. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Big Red going to get said piece of paper notarized... here's my thirty bucks... and here's what I want to have notarized... :o


    ...long silence, and the guy behind the desk... :ugh:





    Ah hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    I want to find somebody I can do that to, but who will sign something saying if I accidentally kill them during sex, I won't be held liable :o


    edit ~ now that I think about it a bit more, I should hand out things like that to random people :o
     
  8. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :mamoru:
     
  9. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    would you like one?

    it covers surprise sexing as well :o
     
  10. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :mamoru:

    It sounds like a great party favor!!!!!!!!!
    That sounds extremely hottttt!!! Like something straight out of a really good (or really B) porn flick hahaha!!!!!!


    But in all honesty, there is only one person I would trust with my life, and that's my husband. ;)
     
  11. Demon Of Dreams

    Demon Of Dreams Feed me with lies and hate, and from that, I will

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    never said you'd have to trust me with your life, just making sure i'm not accountable for killing somebody, IE hatefuck, slip of the knife, etc :o
     
  12. C5Load

    C5Load OT Resident UCLA fanatic

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    From a strictly military standpoint, I sorta see where he's coming from. You're not able to use a weapon if you have a conviction for Domestic Abuse. If he ever gets it, he can kiss his career goodbye.
     
  13. The Fugue

    The Fugue New Member

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    I guess im one of the lucky ones, my wife is almost exactly the same as you in terms of what she wants done to her, and I have no problems at all in doing it. :naughty:

    On another note, I read in a womans mag (Dolly?) the other day, a girl wrote in asking for advice/confirmation that this was acceptable, she said she finds it difficult to achieve orgasm without her partner holding her throat pretty hard. The reply she recieved made me so angry I almost wrote in. The reply was basically : "You really need to stop this IMMEDIATELY (in caps), this is not right and you should seek counselling to help you. Stop doing this if you care for yourself or anyone else around you"

    Wtf?

    Anyway, I suppose im not really much help here, other than reassurance there isnt much you can do. :hs:
     
  14. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    The problem is FS and what we discuss in here is on the outside of the fence of societies acceptable occurances. Because of that, in any mainstream magazine, newspaper, TV show, Radio show, whatever, it's safer for them to suggest that there is a mental issue and that counseling is a proper route to go, due to the fact that most readers will turn and say, "Yeah I agree, something is really wrong with her. It doesn't matter that a good percentage of these people saying this, in the back of thier minds are either longing for it or very curious as to what it is like, to the point that they'd like to experiance it. If people would just let go for a bit and become at least a little experimental, people would be a lot more accepting.
     
  15. poncepr64

    poncepr64 New Member

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    ditto
     
  16. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    wow. talking about bringing back an old thread!

    So, Big Red... any luck with this?
     
  17. xela

    xela So say we all!

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    Yeah, Poncepr likes to do that. :hsugh:
     
  18. The Fugue

    The Fugue New Member

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    Im still angry about that letter reply. :rant:
     
  19. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :rofl:

    I am still wondering why you read Dolly magazine. :mamoru: :love:
     
  20. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  21. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    :wiggle: Hello fellow aussie. Dolly is aimed for 12-15 year olds. It's a kids mag.
     
  22. deelz

    deelz Guest

    big red, maybe it was a lot to throw at him at once. maybe it wouldnt be such a bad idea to gradually add those things to your sex life. i like the spanking too, and it just kinda randomly happened for me. one time we were going at it and i was like "spank me" and i liked it and then gradually after that i wanted it harder and harder and we just recently started getting into putting our hands on eachother's throat thing. i gotta say i think my fiance is a bit freaker than i am and i might have gotten weirded out if he would have been like "hey next time we do it, i wanna spank you hard, and i wanna put my hand around your throat"

    which brings up another point. i dont spank my fiance but ill bite him, or claw his back and he likes that, he also likes when i put MY hand around HIS throat so maybe you can ask your husband if you can do that kinda thing to him first. he might like it and when he does, he might want to give YOU that kind of pleasure too.
     
  23. zee_ro

    zee_ro New Member

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    ^ wow he must be lucky to hav eu
     
  24. deelz

    deelz Guest

    yea, i tell him that all the time. :p
     
  25. Bolicious

    Bolicious Handleobraese

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    Choking is one of the things I won't do because I am pretty strong and at many times don't realize that strength and can do serious damage if I'm not careful. And taking the chance of choking someone to death is not worth an orgasm.
     

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