SRS I dont know

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by di3soft, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    sorry i didn't post my writing from the previous trip just been way to busy to type out all 15 pages and im sure no one wants to read it any ways. Here is my current state, most of all my grandfather is dying of cancer and it hit me really hard the other day. I broke down and just bawled for hour or so, hard dealing with it. Not why im posting here though, ive lost others before and its life, the problem is the girl I wrote about the other time told me she just wanted to be friends and thats it. I don't know what the fuck happened. One day she wants to be around me all the time and so forth and likes me as I like her. now nothing we barely talk. Now here is where my mind drives me crazy, I told my self I need to forget about her and let her go and don't think twice about it there are plenty of girls that are out there. I cant stop thinking of her she is constantly on my mind and I don't know what to think. I know she knows how I feel and doesn't even think twice about it. I occupy my time with hobbies, friends, other misc. activities but something always reminds me of her in some shape or form, and it throws the rest of my day off. I know I should just top thinking about her and go on with life and what not. Everyday there is always something that gets me thinking about her and why I like her so much. I honestly don't know if this is an infatuation or im falling in love with the her i don't know. We were great friends for a while, then escalated from there. (YES WE DID HAVE SEX, for that say grow some balls) I don't fucken know how to get her off my mind. I honestly wish I never met the girl I would have been happier with out her in my life. All my friends know something is wrong and so does my family. I just tell them its my grandfather, even though it is there but the main portion is her. She is fucken driving me insane. So tell me what to do I know she isn't worth my time and what not, yet I cant do anything because I wont talk to her for a day or two and something will get me thinking and I call her or text whatever and try and talk to her, its like pulling teeth trying to talk to her. this is really starting to bother me to the point where i just want to scream at the top of my lungs and tell her that she is fucken driving me insane.

  2. JustJeff


    Oct 30, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Long Island // Virginia Tech
    She your first?

    This is a really hard situation cause there is no true right answer for everyone. You at least are going in the right direction and trying to forget about her... You need to sit down and think about your priorities. I think what you are waiting for is closure: you feel that she just up and left you without a reason. If you really want to, you can go and ask her why and try to get everything out of her, but this may cause more pain and hurt than what you are feeling now.

    (After reading this, you have reminded me to call one of my best friends... i must do that soon)

    But as you said: just occupy yourself. time will heal this wound: it's just not going to be fun.
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Oct 8, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Love has got to go both ways, you need to learn that and more ,namely that you can only love someone , you don't own her as personal property, she has a free will of her own and decides for herself with whomever she wants to be. You can always love her, but you have to understand that you have come to a dead end road with her, you have to turn your car around and head back to the main highway of life, search for another girl, you may find someone who is even better then her.

    As for your grandfather, imagine if you would die, would you enjoy seeing your family in sorrow for many years to come, agonizing over your death, and in pain for your loss? Of course not, you would want them to be happy and live their lives to the fullest, so instead of dying for someone who has deceased, start living for them. However, at this moment you should spend all the quality time that you possibly can with your beloved grandfather. Maby you can bring something nice for him, My Grandfather who died of cancer, you know i got him an ice-cream, even tho he wasn't allowed, he was terminal so what the heck. For me that is such a happy memory that he was enjoying an ice-cream instead of tube food.
  4. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    no she is not my first, actually like 13th or something (girl wise) ive never had this problem before so this is why im lost, maybe all these years of hearless sex and relationships has caught up to me.
  5. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    Its hard to live and know some one you love dearly is dying but i do my best and actually I did bring him ice cream and I spend as much time with him as I can, the only thing is i ever say bye or anything before I leave because im afraid it will be the last time so I dont say it. and almost everytime I break down in my car on the way to my house and am depressed as shit and just mope around for a little while.

    I never regarded her s property I actually loved the fact that she spoke her mind and had free will instead of just doing whatever I said. I guess time does heal all
  6. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    bump for night crew help

Share This Page