SRS I don't know who to talk to but I figured I try you

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DarkDruid, Jan 3, 2009.

  1. DarkDruid

    DarkDruid The Power of The Awesome

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    I hate trying to tell people my problems, I can never say what I am thinking for some odd reason. Anyways let me try to clue you in.



    I am 19, live at home with parents/go to city college/work. My mom has brain cancer 9, my dad is a fire fighter trying to support our family (been happening for 5 years) and I have two brothers. I wrote you members of Asylum because I don't know where else to turn to. I know I have depression to an extent (having more lows than I used to, feeling sore, tired, and not creative all the time). I wish I could tell you exactly why I am depressed but there are so many things going on in my mind at 1000x miles an hour that if I were you tell you you would only focus on what I said which would be 2/1000 of what I am thinking. Does that make sense?


    I don't know if my health insurance provides a psychologist (I have Kaiser, but don't think so), and I don't really have anyone to sit down and empty my mind on to because frankly I am not that close to anyone any more and it's been hard to get anyone to genuinely listen to me.


    I am NOT suicidal or anything like that but every morning I wake up I take joy in the little things but my day gets drained away, and nothing good comes from it. Maybe it's in the way I measure my day but when I get home and its night I try to think of what all I have accomplished and how I have bettered peoples lives. But for the last year (with a few days as exceptions) I come home empty handed. I try to do all the things I am passionate about (write songs, make videos, write stories, take pictures) but either I began them and become uninterested or don't attempt them at all. I try to help people but every attempt as failed.


    I just wonder where did my life go? I used to be so happy and creative and had such good friends. Now here I am, breaking down, friendless, passionless, and with no idea of a future. How do you leave this mindset behind? How do I stop this constant thinking. I used to feel like just a person with feelings that made mistakes. Now I feel like a brain, connected to a body that analyzes everything I do to find out why. And the answers I usually find are due to me not being myself. It's a vicious cycle with no end.
     
  2. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    Call mhmr and tell them you want to come in and talk to someone about what is going on in your life and you think you are depressed. They will get you in to see a doctor and the pay is close to nothing (sliding scale).

    You do sound depressed, but with everything going on . . . who the hell wouldn't be . . .
     
  3. illectronic

    illectronic I'm Coming Home OT Supporter

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    What I got from that post was "my mind is racing 1000x an hour". I can relate to that since I'm bipolar. Definitely go to a mental health clinic if your insurance doesn't provide anything. They are usually in hospitals or in nearby buildings at least here anyways.
     
  4. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Check around for cancer support groups. Even if all your probs aren't related to what's up with your mom or even if you yourself don't have the cancer there are still groups that would be happy to let you talk & give supportive advice.
     

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