SRS I dont know what to do

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by di3soft, Dec 1, 2006.

  1. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    Ive been friends with this girl for a long time and I have always had a thing for her and I have always wanted to pursue it further. Well recently we have been hanging out more and more, we both enjoy it and have fun. About a month ago she got out of a relationship with a guy who she thinks she loves, I hated seeing the girl depressed so I helped her get the guy back. Now she is happy again and I am fucken miserable, we still hang out all the time and its the same thing. I have these great feelings towards her but she is in "love" with another guy who I presonally think doesnt deserve her because he broke it off with her and I helped her get back together with him. So I pretty much just put on a happy face when Im around her but yet inside I feel utterly depressed and heart broken cause it seems like I will never have a chance with her. The only time that I remotly told her how I feel was when i was drunk a year or so back, im sure she dismissed it as drunk talk. Im afraid that if I tell her straight up I will loose her as a friend. Is it worth telling her how I feel even though I might loose her as a friend or should I tell her and hope she maybe feels the same even a slightest bit. So there is my little rant just needed to get it off my chest and maybe get some advice.

    I dont know what to do.
     
  2. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    I think you should break up their relationship, go after her, then lose her as a friend. That way everyone will be miserable with you.
     
  3. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    why dont you /yourself I was asking this specifically in this forum for a reason to vent and get some serious replys
     
  4. NotSoSmart

    NotSoSmart New Member

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    Like they're all telling me - move on...sucks, I know - but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    It's hard, but I'm trying really really hard. Plannin' on hanging out with some friends tonight to get this off my chest.
     
  5. Create

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    That was a serious reply. I'm stating that you should go with one of the two options you presented.

    Is it not obvious that I picked the one that's unhealthy to show you how ridiculous it is to go that route?

    Stay friends if you can handle it. It sounds like you can't right now so put some distance between you and the girl. If she becomes free without your influence, then make your move. Try not to catch her on the rebound as you're bound to have a failed relationship.

    Five years? Give her five months post-breakup before you even ask her out. yeah, she'll rebound and hurt some other guy in those five months. You don't want to be that rebound guy that gets hurt...so wait.
     
  6. Create

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    PS - If she looked to you to help get her BF back, then she wasn't interested in you as dating material at that time.
     
  7. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    Thanks for the clarification, I honestly thought you were trying to be a smart ass. thanks for the input, I dont want to break anything up between them but the biggest burden on me is that I have never really told her how I feel.
     
  8. Create

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    Patience > all.

    I give this same advice fairly often because it really helps me at times:

    Write her a letter, pen/paper style. Now think about it - Will sending this letter do good, or do harm? In this case I think it's just going to hurt her *and* you. So sit on this letter. Still, though, you've got what you want to say out of your head and down in this letter. Now it's ok to stop dwelling on actually telling her. If you want (and you may change your mind in the future), promise yourself that one day you will send it - but not today, not unless she's broken up with this guy and months out of the relationship, or well after she's married the guy.

    Now it's communicated, or at least it will be, right? Now you can move on.
     
  9. Antago

    Antago New Member

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    I had a simmilar sort of situation once. I really felt like I was in love with this girl; We'd been best mates for ages, and she was one of five people who I felt comfortable around, like I didn't have to be on guard or put on a show. She was incredible. Anyway, I decided I had to tell her, it was killing me. So, after several failed attempts, I sent her a text (which I'm NOT proud of). After a while, I got this reply, saying that she loved me as a friend, but she didn't love me like a boyfriend yadda yadda (I forget the rest,I was quite gutted to say the least).
    So, things were awkward for a couple of days, maybe a week. And then we got back to being mates. She's still one of my best mates, several years later. And... yeah, I do still have feelings for her. But, I've done what I could, and she was such a great mate that she understood and didn't judge me for that.
    I'm not sure what the moral of my tale is... I'll let you work that out for yourself. Hope that was some sort of help... It worked out ok for me.
     
  10. Create

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    I believe that the best relationships are the ones that start with an awesome friendship.
     
  11. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    thanks for all the input and I think I will take the letter way, write the letter and hold onto it..... We'll see how this all works out I tink Ill let it be the way it is now, and see where it goes
     
  12. di3soft

    di3soft Guest

    I agree completely, you both know each other better then you could imagine. and it makes a good relationship.
     

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