i dont know what to do with this girl v. friendzoned before

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by victimizati0n, Oct 17, 2008.

  1. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    alright, here is the deal, i let this girl know i liked her, and she friendzoned me, i have known her for 8 or so years now, but i kinda popped in and our of her life throughout this time

    ever since she friendzoned me when i first met her, every time i came around she had a boyfriend, so i was kind of stuck

    she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago, and i didnt talk to her for about 2 months during that time, when i started talking to her again, i was kinda dating another girl (long story) but i was changed and not being whipped by her anymore.

    anyways, i just started talking to her recently again, and her attitude towards me has done a complete 180, like she would never hang out with me without one of her chick friends being there, and now she will, she is asking me to do stuff with her, etc... as of right now, the way i see it is she doesnt really know that i still have feelings for her

    i was with her last night and after we got back to her place we talked a bit before we left, and i was really getting mixed feelings, first of all, let me say this, she is the type of girl who will wait for a guy to make the first move, and as i was talking to her, i got the feeling that that is what she wanted me to do, i dont know why i got that feeling, i never really have from her before.. as i was talking to her, i was debating what to do in my head, i just kept asking myself, should i??

    i didnt do anything because well, i was just so afraid of me taking this situation the wrong way and reading her wrong and have her get really weird being around me now that i tried to kiss her, so something like that. I like how she has totally changed her attitude towards me i like how she treats me now, but i was afraid if i did something wrong she wouldnt be the same, and maybe compromise what we have now.

    i do tend to WAY over think things, and that is exactly what i did lastnight

    what should i do OT?? i sometimes have a hard time telling if a girl likes me if she is the type who will wait for a guy to make a move and not say anything.. is there anything i can say to her to confirm how she feels without ruining what we have now?

    if this was ANY other girl, i would have made a move, but i really didnt want to ruin anything between us, right now im kinda pissed off at myself because i didnt do anything last night :wtc:

    thanks guys, and sorry for the long post
     
  2. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    I say go for it. You only live once. Don't put her on the spot though, just have fun with it. Start being more physically affectionate and see how she responds. Ask her out somewhere that is obviously a date, but don't say it's a date and see what she says.
     
  3. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    43,277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new jersey
    well if you feel she is the type of girl that waits for the guy to make the first move, then i say go for it.

    ^^ i agree, maybe a little physical attention out at a public place. a few quick soft pinches at her waist when you walk by her.. see what she does.

    worst case scenario is you go back to not talking to her again.
     
  4. MIK3

    MIK3 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    43,277
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    new jersey
  5. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    i guess thats worth a try

    we will see what happens later today

    i know she is that type of girl.. like i said, i have known her for 8 years i pretty much know everything there is to know about her

    i can try the physical attention, but im only going to go as far as something like touching her shoulders, etc.. she would not like it if i did the pinch thing, not because it is from me, but anybody, even if it was her dream guy, thats getting into her "personal space"

    yes, i did read that, but it didnt really help me much since im not trying to get out of teh friend zone per say, im pretty sure i am out its just in my head im afraid to mess things up incase there is a slight chance im not out of the zone
     
  6. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    If she's into you or into anyone she'll be more willing to let that person into her personal space. Don't go grab her ass or something, but push the line, see how much she lets you invade her personal space.

    I just recently turned a very long time friend into more and that is exactly how I did it, went from minimal physical contact to almost constant physical contact and is how I could gage when the right time to make a move was.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2008
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    :werd: That's why this is a good gauge for her interest. If she doesn't like you in her personal space at all, then that isn't a good sign. Because either she isn't interested or has some intimacy issues in general.
     
  8. here is my stance on the highlighted part. i always assume that a girl likes me until i find out otherwise. getting into this mind frame will always help you come across as confident.

    as far as how to approach it?

    next time you get the vibe from her during a convo lean in and give her one small/light kiss on the lips... and pull away.

    dont grope her or try to stick your tongue down her throat.

    either she looks at you like "wtf?" and which point you apologize and excuse yourself. or she looks at you and leans in for another.

    worst case scenario she calls you after you left and you talk through the awkwardness and you now have a weight off your chest bc you wont be wondering anymore.

    also bc you did not mouth rape her she will still respect you and your relationship as friends, if it even matters to you, wont be changed by much.
     
  9. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    she has no problem with personal space, like i get in her personal space all of the time, but she wouldnt feel comfortable having people pinch her like that, especially in that area

    she kinda "squirms" away
     
  10. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    yes, i was like 3 seconds from doing that last night but i didnt because i didnt want to to be really awkward
     
  11. man up and do it!
     
  12. Savage5point0

    Savage5point0 Im an asshole.

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2001
    Messages:
    18,397
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    The Bay, California
    I know I have mentioned this before but alcohol is your friend. Go have a couple drinks in some private setting and see if her body language and actions give you any hints as to how she feels. It might also help you grow some balls and go for it.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    Ruin what? Ruin being friendzoned? If you made a move and kissed her and she never talked to you again what did you ruin? Do you want to be this girls friend or lover? If you want to be her lover you have to take a chance and make a move. But if you want to be her friend, then keep doing what you've been doing. It's the only thing that's been working for you.

    And next time, don't share your feelings and tell a girl that you like her. This will turn her off faster than a light switch. Women are the ones that are supposed to share thier feelings not guys. If you like a girl, don't tell her, show her. Show her that you like her by kissing her and holding her (if she let's you hold her). To a girl that's more manly and attractive than saying "I like you, I've had a crush on you since I've met you, I want to be with you. Blah Blah" :barf:
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    It's only awkward because you think it's awkward. And sometimes awkwardness is good. It pulls things away from the norm.

    And never apologize for kissing a girl. If she pulls away and has a problem with it, that's her fault not yours. Just say you couldn't help yourself. Her lips looked so kissable or something like that. Something cute charming to diffuse the situation. If she needs time to think about it, let her think about it. Next time you see her will most likely be a long make out session.
     
  15. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    47,046
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah, that would be good, but i dont really drink with her much, i have only once and it was at her parents house, she threw a party and had 20 drunk people running around breaking her shit so i never got a chance to see what would happen

    i went back to college because im trying to be a cpa, she is in one of my classes.. which is the reason i started talking to her again, if she rejected me if i tried to do that, i would STILL have to see her

    and believe me, i have learned my lesson about being friendzoned, i know that shit off by heart now (what to do/what not to do) but i just cant tell how she feels... like for example, some guy used to like her, he asked her out, but got rejected because she had a boyfriend, after they broke up, she liked him and they talked a lot BUT she never told him that she had feelings for him and he moved on and found another girl, and she was pretty upset, i dont want to be in that situation, but i really have no idea how she feels
     

Share This Page