i feel like i'm exploding out of my skin. i can't stop crying. i honestly just want to end it all. i know suicide isn't the answer, but now i understand why people do it. i can't seem to focus on anything. i feel like i can't move and i'm about to break down any second. i'm scared of how i'm feeling cause i've never felt so torn and broken before. what should i do. i can't go to my parents, it's just not an option. neither is seeing a doctor. are there any methods of self soothing i can do? i don't feel like anyone else can help me, i feel like if i want to feel better it'll have to be through me, so what can I do? i just want to feel normal again.