I don't know if I should be mad at myself or what...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Handsom3, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    So today I received a call from my next door neighbor who lives next to my parents. It was his kids birthday and he wanted to show me what he got for his birthday. So I logged into my MSN, which I never use, and talked to the kid for a little while. While I'm getting ready to sign out I get hit with an IM from my most recent ex.


    Apparently she wants my address so she can send me a letter, but I don't give it to her so she e-mails it to me.

    I'm pretty upset with myself that I read this letter and that she used things that used to be important to me. It makes me hate her, but at the same time I want to write her back. Its been 8 months since we were together after dating for almost three years. I'm doing well moving on with my life, I rarely think about her, and rarely see her at work.

    I guess this is me venting more then asking for advice, I just don't understand the logic here, but I guess I never will.
     
  2. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    I'm not sure why you guys broke up, but after going out and seeing what other people are like she's realized that you really were that one person. Being lonely and missing your SO doesn't last for 8 months after being broken up. Sure you've probably thought about it when you see something that reminds you but its nothing more than that. You, I, and everyone else have had this feeling.

    I suggest you take it and move on. You don't sound to moved by this which leads me to believe that the break up wasn't all that friendly. Best bet is to just keep going in the direction your headed as you can move on with life.
     
  3. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    We broke up when I found she texted a co-worker that she thought of him when she was with me. I guess I was never happy enough or smiled enough for her.

    That's pretty much the plan, but just sucks that I get knocked down like this.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    UGH

    You know already how I feel about this :mamoru: ;)
     
  5. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    After re-reading it I'm a little creeped out by her. She used lyrics from my favorite band quite a few times...

    As sad as it sounds, maybe you feel differently, or the same, but I really feel like our time is really running out, and it makes me very sad
    :ugh:

    Not a day goes by where I don't think of you, and I've spent more than enough nights crying myself to sleep or dreaming of you.

    There was a job at a hospital that I almost took but couldn't bring myself to because I was too afraid to be away from you.


    :noes:
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    It sounds like you already know what to do, which is good. Just for JAO's sake, let's say it all together now:

    "Run, run and..."
     
  7. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Dude, I need to make a fucking smilie/emoticon for you :rofl:
     
  8. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    All I will say is that you truly never know and it all depends on how you feel about her now and whether you would be willing to give it another try and of course make yourself vulnerable to the same thing happening again, such is life. However with that said, people change and do come to realizations, and also sometimes they don't..... Its your call... What would I do? I can't say, because I'm not you and the people giving you advice here are giving it without having any of your feelings or history with this woman.
     
  9. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    I think it works better that way, we don't have the attachment to her so we can face the decision at face value. I say turn around and walk away. Sure people can change but 99% of the time they have no reason to and they just want you back because you are better but they'll leave the second they find something again.
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    The logic is that she is looking for closure for herself, and she doesn't care about how it affects you.
     
  11. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Do not respond.

    Burn the computer you opened that e-mail on.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    any action from you on this will end badly

    pretend like it never happened and go about your business
     
  13. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    the bolded is whats important here. focus on that
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    email her back pics of you getting it on with wimmenz
     
  15. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    I think that anytime someone from your past connects with you, there will be feelings that will come up again... YOu have been doing well and moved on, right? I would not respond to her correspondence and continue to move on with your life.

    :hug:
     
  16. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    I was about to say maybe you should write her back, but after reading that you guys broke up after you found out she texted your coworker, about thinking about him while she was with you, makes me want to tell you to burn the letter.
     
  17. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    very true!

    her letter sounded heartfelt :dunno:. maybe she truly realizes what she lost now? :( 3 years is a long time to date someone, and to have it end over a text message. i can relate though, as one of my boyfriends broke up with me for cheating on him emotionally. just realize that people CAN change, if they truly want to. losing my boyfriend opened me up to my faults and mistakes in relationships, and i took the steps necessary to change. :)

    i can't speak for her, but it sounds as though she wants to rebuild a friendship. you could email her back and ask her tho. my personal experience says if she's evasive or doesn't give you a clear cut answer, she's merely looking for attn.

    good luck with whatever you decide to do. love's both an amazing thing, but sometimes it sucks as well ;)
     
  18. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    :werd:


    You don't want to reply to her. Then she'll really never stop :hs:
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Just ignore her letter.

    What her letter actually says is this: "All of the guys I liked enough to fuck since we broke up didn't want a relationship with me. And right now, I was just dumped by another one of them and I'm feeling lonely and needy so I wanted to write you because at this very moment doing so might make me feel better, and if you reply, then I'll get the attention fix that I needed. But a relationship between us would never work because I think about your coworker while we're together."
     
  20. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    That is what I figured, I get things like this out of the blue about every few months or so. Usually it is a phone call that I ignore or a text that I ignore. I'm just going to ignore her and let it be. I'm trying to get another girl in the picture and it isn't worth her finding out that I'm talking to my ex still.
     
  21. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    So against my better judgment I went out to have coffee with my ex this afternoon. She had been texting me quite a few times since she sent me that letter and I figured this was going to be the only way to shut her up.

    We talked about what had been going on in our lives and such, most of what she talked about was negative and depressing. I talked about all the good things that had happened to me and how my life has changed for the better. She mentioned that she was "kind" of dating the guy she was thinking about when she was with me. I didn't even flinch when she told me that, I've pretty much known that they were anyways, and then I calmly told her that it was fair to him for her to be writing these types of letters to me when she has a boyfriend.

    Then I calmly got up and told her not to bother trying to contact me anymore and it was better is she stayed away from me and my life. I went ahead and call blocked her and might be looking at getting a new number also.

    However, this past weekend I went out on a first date for the first time in nearly four years. Got along with the chick really well, but I was supper rusty and froze when I dropped her off. Even if nothing happens it was still up lifting that I could do it. :)
     
  22. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Good job, keep it up.
     
  23. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Good for you!
     
  24. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    good job !

    yea being rusty is a fear but at least ur moving on.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5:
     

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