SRS I don't know if I can hold myself together anymore. My family is falling apart.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by I wanna fuck Rarity, Apr 10, 2009.

  1. I never post in here, because I usually just post my problems in the main forum and usually the battering I get from OT makes me feel better for some reason.


    But I don't want to talk about this in the main forum. My family is going through some very hard times. I have a family member who has been accused of downloading child porn through limewire and has been going through hell for the past year. He is monitored and he is going to have a jury trial this summer to find out how many years he'll be in for. As far as I know the state has no real evidence and has gone so far as to accuse him as being a peddler of child porn. He is not wealthy enough to prove his innocence.

    He plays GURPS with some friends of his. He has been friends with them for decades. Today he found out that one of them does not want to see him again and does not want to be friends with him because his friend has kids. This pretty much broke him down. He went to my grandma's house for comfort and hope. I got a call from her and this was the first time in my life that I ever heard her cry. I pretty much fell to the ground in a sobbing heap because of all this bullshit, I want to hurt whoever is making her cry.

    Pretty much my entire family is trying to help him and keep his head up but it's very hard, we each have our own problems and this is not making it any easier. A lot of my family is getting laid off and things are falling apart.

    This is on top of knowing one of my best friends is accused of rape, even though there are eye witnesses saying nothing happened, and a rape kit showed nothing. He faces up to 15 years in prison.

    I know I should do my best to be a friend and a supporter, because I know both are innocent. But I feel powerless. I am an atheist, I have no god to turn to.. I guess that's why I am venting on OT.


    anyway I am not looking for answers, I just want to get this off my chest.

    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Damn. I don't really have any insight or advice, sorry. :hug:
     
  3. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    it is a time to really show how much of a family your family really is. keep together, stay strong and support each other the entire way. At the end of it all, you have each other and that is more than enough to ask for. Other than that, things can only get better if you all stay together especially during the hard times ahead.
     
  4. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    How did he end up charged? They just happened to be monitoring his PC? Sounds fishy.
     
  5. northw3st

    northw3st New Member

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    just take it one day at a time. realize that millions of humans around the world have it much worse - and they get through it somehow. so you and the family will also be able to get through it, you just have to take it one day at a time. i'll tell ya, life ain't easy.
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Unfortunate that you are suffering in this situation. I don't believe per-se in "the God", but I meditate, and I look inside myself. Perhaps looking inside and talking to yourself in a quiet room, while breathing deeply will help you to smooth over some anxiety.

    It's not advice, but rather a suggestion. I do it at night, even while laying in bed. I talk to myself, asking myself questions that concern me, and then answering those questions as I think about them. I also forgive myself for any shortcomings or mistakes I made during the day, whether it involved another person or letting myself down.

    It helps me and it doesn't involve "The God" of boxed in religions. This tool is available to all people and is based on "logic". Sometimes expressing our own thoughts and feelings to ourselves is enough to find solutions.
     
  7. i don't know everything, as far as I know he was asleep and they came knocking, served a warrant and took all his equipment and most of his CDs and DVDs.
     
  8. thanks for the help, feeling better after a few days
     
  9. oZone

    oZone let's go to sleep in paris and wake up in tokyo

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    Same here, I just hope everything works out and corrects itself if it can't be helped. :hs: :hugot:
     
  10. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

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    maybe knowing that it will pass will help you, in time things will be different.
     
  11. roddick

    roddick New Member

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    I would consult a computer forensics expert if this guy insists that he has no idea how this material arrived on his computer. Someone can be downloading any type of file online and it could have a bad extension or be something other than what they think they are downloading. As long as he never viewed the file and knew what it was and then didnt remove it, he should be ok.

    Also, he could have downloaded a trojan unknowingly and his computer could be used as a server from a third party for distributing child porn or basically anything. There actually was a case about this where the person was cleared.

    But, this method can be very pricey...
     
  12. he's pretty much broke now
     
  13. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    That's a tough situation to be in man. I can't give any legal advice as I don't know the situation and what your relative could use at his disposal to prove his innocence. All you can really do as a family is be supportive of not only him, but of one another , because things like this, as you can see, impacts more than just one person. The worst thing your relative can do is lose focus and feel sorry for himself. It's hard but he needs to definitely take a hard look at his life and what his options may be. He may be poor, but you never know who might take up his case, given the facts of the case to come.
     
  14. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    Giving yourself some time to relax in silence can also help you sort your thoughts out. As you relax, you can think more clearly so that you can formulate a plan as to what you need to do next.
     
  15. Quintessence

    Quintessence New Member

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    In my opinion without any objectiveness at all, I feel that you should become apathetic in general during these unfortunate situations. Even though it is obviously going to be hard to do that, the rationale for being apathetic in these situations is because it not only tests your fortitude, it shows it to the others, and a straight-face can go a long way in giving comfort to someone. As in your accounts, when your grandmother cried, you cried as well. It could have been you who cried and, in turn, made someone else sympathetically distressed; therefore, if you can stifle your emotions as best as you can, it should be able to lessen the emotional load in general for the family. Other than that, I can't give further advice for it would be regarding the legal system, in which I have no expertise.
     
  16. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    even if you are an atheist, you can still go to a church and talk to a minister. i'm not saying this to try to talk you into anything, but if you inform the that you are a non believer but just need some advice they will still be happy to help you out. they have some of the best advice and best of all, its free. the only thing it will cost you is your time and gas to get there. i hope things turn for you, your family, and your friends, it is a tough time out there for a lot of people, i truly am fortunate and thank god every day for it.
     

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