SRS I don't know how to feel

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MonkMonk, Jan 18, 2007.

  1. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    alright OT, so I like this one girl, we will call her Susie. I like her a lot. It has been over a 2-3 month span, and over that time I have been getting closer and closer with her ex-boyfriend, who is also a really close friend of hers. I don't want to like Susief anymore, but I am, she is just so drawing, she flirts with me, and I can't really read her signs. I am going to a party friday, there will be alcohol and her ex-boyfriend and I plan on getting drunk. He told me he wants to hook up with Susie, and I want to be really okay with that, but I can't. Susie may flirt a lot with me, and maybe even more with him, but I don't want her to hook up with anyone besides me. I don't even want to hook up with Susie that much, as it will probably be detrimental to our relationship. Its like, she doesn't go for guys like me, and I know it,but I want her, and it feels like she wants me? I just don't want Susie to get drunk and hook up with her ex, or anyone else. I am so possesive of something I don't even have. And I want to stop liking her because I know that I will be hurt so bad! What can I do OT to 1. stop liking Susie, 2. feel okay about her ex or anyone else and her hooking up. Thanks :sadwavey:
    First Asylum thread
     
  2. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    I am such a pussy, I want to take the pussy way out and go with the, go through friends to see if she likes me method before I make a fool of myself and make the whole friendship awkward.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    the plain and simple truth of this matter is that you need to ask Susie.

    If she gets drunk or hooks up or whatever, that is her decision.
    You cannot control the actions of another.

    All you can do is finally get up the courage to make a move.

    I suspect you don't because some part of you knows what the answer will be.
    And you're probably right. Some part of you considers her out of your league.
    And I'm willing to bet that....you are right...she is.


    But you should still make that move on her.

    If she turns you down...let it be. You'll get over her.

    As wonderful as she is...as radiant as she is...as awesome as she is.... she isn't the One for you, if she doesn't have those same feelings about you.
    Remember that.

    And if she doesn't turn you down...then you my son are about to get on the bullet train to ecstasy.

    But it all starts with having the balls to make a move.



    You don't have to have that perfect moment to proposition her.
    She ALREADY feels a certain way about you.

    You just need to have the balls to allow yourself to discover what that is.
    MAKE YOUR FUCKIN MOVE.

    And good luck :)
     
  4. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    its like, right now I am sitting next to her. she is playing footsy with her ex and keeps on persuing to flirt. I just feel that she just really likes him. I do feel better though, I have gotten rid of this likingness for her that I am trying to. I guess I always feel bad about liking girls, because I always think that they are going to say no and that I always want them to like me too. :\
     
  5. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    I feel like I am trying to push myself away from her, and almost try to attract myself to someone else. I just don't want to hate my friend because he knows I am attracted to Susie while he still goes on and flirts with her.
    It would just makes it easier if I didn't like her at all
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So it would make you feel better if your friend stopped flirting with her, because you like her?

    Sorry bud, but you need to make a move on her. Otherwise, she's not yours.

    You're not much of a friend if you expect him to stop just because you have a secret fantasy crush that you never acted upon.

    Even worse is that you don't act on it because you know she's not into you.



    Man up...in both ways.

    First, if you like a girl, do something about it.

    Second, if she doesn't like you, never has, never will, and barely even knows you exist.....then don't get pissy and purposely cockblock your friend just because you can't handle it.



    Come on...do something about it. If she's not down with it...move on.
     
  7. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    yeah, I really need this aggresion too. no sarcasm, it gets my fired up to do something about it. She does know who I am, we are actually pretty good friends. I just had a good sized conversation with her and I have come to it that 1. she will never again be hooking up with her ex-boyfriend (revealed to me he "kisses like a retard") 2. she has just stopped liking him as a person, but the flirting comes without notice. I think next time we get into the same kind of conversation I will reveal myself to her and just let it all go out. I really do need to because I am somewhat losing sleep over this. If nothing happens the next time I speak with her, and it is about myself, I can move on, I know it.
    Thank you for the words!
     
  8. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    I was supposed to hang out with her last night, but she didn't even come because her ex-boyfriend was there. she even told me she was sorry for ditching me, which I must say made me feel good because she had seemed to care about my feelings then. :hs: I am teetering back and forth between the "like her, don't like her" stage.
     

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