edit: This is a question for other guys, not females. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ start backstory... Ok, so i got my ideas for how men were supposed to be from movies and such when i was younger. I started "Partying" when i was 15. This dude i worked with who was 22 had his own place with some roomates and wanted to bust my weed cherry. After much convincing, i got a ride over there one night after work and smoked my first bowl. I lost my virginity a couple months later just before i hit 16. When i hit 16 and got my liscense i started going over there every day. I smoked and drank my ass off and had quite a bit of sex. This went on for another 2 years until i joined the military. After basic training, i was pretty horny and had alot of sex at tech school. the dorms weren't co-ed so it was things like getting head in the car, having sex behind the pier at the beach and a quick power fuck in the .5c movie stall in a porn shop (embarassing). When i got to my first base, i had to go through a class with all the other new troops, the class was about 15 people strong with half of them females. Within the first 2 weeks i had sex with 3 of them and was not very nice afterwards, making my work enviroment (and i'm sure their's as well) hell for the past 2 years. /end backstory So basically, i haven't had sex now in a few months and haven't really been trying, but i still have that "fuck as many people as you can" idea in my head, and no matter how hard i try to get rid of it i can't stop thinking like that. I haven't had a girlfriend since i was 13, which involved holding hands at lunch time. It's hard for me to get involved with a girl because i don't trust them. The smallest things, like girls at hooters touching you and flinging their tits in your face for a better tip just pisses me off. Wear the small shirt and shorts, serve me my food and don't talk to me. I know it's their job, and i know they accept that customers want all that, but it still bugs me. Sound like insecurity? Basically, the main question is does this sound like a phase (i'm 20) i'm going through or has it become a part of me? And if it is part of me, how the fuck can i get rid of it. I'm not coming on here to brag. No one here knows me in real life or any where outside of offtopic, and very few know me even on offtopic so i have no reason to brag anyways. I've slept with somewhere around 30 different girls, and i have never once used a condom. For some reason i get to the point of penetration and always think "i've been lucky so far, why start now", then i spend the next week scared. I've been tested for stds more times than i can count and have never come up with anything. I am still in contact with less than 10 of the girls i've slept with so i don't even know if i have gotten any of them pregnant. I don't know when my luck is going to run out or if it already has, and i need to change, and fast. one more tidbit in case it matters, i'm not religious and don't plan on changing that, so it's not an option.