SRS i do not understand girls at all.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by unorthadox, Dec 6, 2006.

  1. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

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    another excuse
    i didn't bother searching, sorry if this was already posted recently.

    after browsing through these forums, i've become confused about how to deal with females.

    i'll keep this short, because i hate biopics.

    i've read that you want to "push the girl away, then bring her back" or treat her like a "jerk" would. i guess i would probally sum up what i have learned with the sentence "if you don't like me, i don't care."

    the problem i have is that i DO care if they like me, and find it really tough to play this "bait and switch" game. not to mention i need to work on my self-confidence (cause and effect eh)... but it's just my nature (or nurture) to be kind to girls i like.

    if this is the problem then it would explain why almost every girl i have liked in the past has either shot me down, given me the no-go signs, or dropped off the face of the earth.

    so what am i asking here? aside from the venting, i just wonder why "nice guys finish last" and if there is any way around it.

    fuck.
     
  2. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    There's not and never will be a clear answer. Every guy who gets girls isn't a complete "jerk" to them.. be cocky, be fun, and be busy! Girls don't want a guy waiting on their hand and foot.. and that's what many nice guys do.

    Nice guys are too affectionate, too friendly, and just lack the temerity to make a strong move. They think too much.

    I won't go on because that probably isn't much of help. What will help is getting out there and getting experience. Go chat up every girl you meet and try different approaches. I'm sure things will eventually click. :hsd:

    It really is pretty odd, it seems the only girls who come crawling back to me are the ones I blow off time after time while pursuing even more women :o
     
  3. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    You need to read Without Embarrassment:The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Seduction System

    Give me your email and i will email you the e-book.
     
  4. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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  5. Apollo

    Apollo Guest

    read "the game"

    one of the best books I've ever read
     
  6. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    sent and sent
     
  7. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    sent, sent, sent, sent, sent...lol
     
  8. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

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    You don't have to be a jerk. The only thing that works better than being a jerk is being a gentleman. You must be a very conscious individual with good manners, polite, sense of humor.
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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  10. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    "let me tell you something, ive been all around the world and i've learned something. women are a very complicated bunch. here, i'll give you an analogy: women are like grapes. see, i said that because... well because i used the word 'bunch' and so i thought of grapes. that's all ive got. now, if i said something like... women are a complicated 'group'..... awe crap, i thought of grapes again."
    - Coach McGuirk

    :mamoru:
     
  11. johan

    johan Active Member

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    That's a funny show.
     
  12. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

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    thanks for the tips and advice guys, i appreciate it!
     
  13. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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  14. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You should go watch the movie "The Tao of Steve" and then go read www.askmen.com/dating/doclove and his articles.

    The problem is that you have never studied women. It's like you're saying you don't know how to work on cars. Anyone can learn, you just have to read the manual, get some help from experienced folks, and practice, making lots of mistakes along the way.

    You should not care if women like you, you should care if YOU like you. Women are attracted to mature, self-confident, self-respecting, self-controlled adult men who are non-serious and a little mysterious. This means you don't sit down and tell a woman your life story. In fact, you do the opposite. Don't be the "spoiler" of the "movie" of your life. Be the "movie" that has lots of hints but no clear answers. We all read books and go to movies to be entertained by the LACK of information. Women are the same way.

    Being a jerk is just being too much of a man. The jerk lacks self control and self-confidence. Smart women usually see through this after a short period of time.

    Pushing a woman away is wrong. You just cannot act desperate and clingy like you *must* have her. You *must* have your own life, your own things to do, and instead of being there for everything she wants to do, invite her to become part of YOUR life. This means that when she asks you to go shopping with her at the mall, you actually - gasp - say "No, thanks, that's not really something I want to do. You go, I'm going to work on my car/project." You have to actually make your own decisions. This is huge, think about all the times you can make decisions with a woman, such as picking where to go, what to eat, or what to wear. You have to be a leader, make your OWN decisions, and that's it.

    Bottom line is that you have to act like a mature, responsible, adult male. Do not be the child, the therapist, the guy who talks for hours on the phone. let her know your intentions ("I like you, we should go on a date.") and make a move sexually like an adult male would do.

    If you play video games excessively, talk about cars or computers non-stop, or do anything else that could come across as child like or immature, don't expect women to stick around. Women want a man who has a steady job, is responsible, a flirt (IMPORTANT!) and fun to be with, has a sexual side to him yet is not a pig (i.e., doesn't tell all the guys about how she took it up the ass yesterday) and stuff like that.

    If you want to understand women, stop wondering about it - go read some books, sites, watch some movies, talk to guys who you see are successful with women, then figure out which advice will work well for YOU and start trying it. When you try something and fail, MAKE A NOTE OF WHAT WENT WRONG AND IMPROVE IT THE NEXT TIME. Failure with women is the road to success. The more you fuck up, the more you will learn, and the better you will become. You should learn to regard every failure as a success.

    You may also want to check out this link: http://www.fastseduction.com/youarenew/

    Or my site over at www.Friendzoned.com [/shameless plug!]

    Get out there and learn about women. They are easy enough to figure out when you learn about them.

    I used to be a complete chump when it came to women. Now? You wouldn't believe half of my stories, if any! :bigthumb:
     
  15. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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  16. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

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    another excuse
    Does OP mean original poster? (I'm new)

    If so, then yeah I've had girls like me. Well, I KNOW that these girls liked me but I am not sure if there was others.
    They have always been the off type for me - super quiet, and kinda weird. Kinda like me I guess, but not what I'm looking for.
    Usually nothing happens (save for a couple times) since they don't initiate something and I don't want to start anything with them either. The girls that I DO like though, I never know if they like me so I don't start anything. Which is a really dumb decision now that I think about it.
     
  17. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    How did u behave around the girls who liked u
     
  18. NotSoSmart

    NotSoSmart New Member

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    Werd! This is so damn true. PocoDiablo made some good points too...This is everythign that I have worked on in the last 3 years, to where I'm real happy without a woman, and I can brush them off. Gaining real confidence is truly the key...so much that I can brush off without a moment's notice if I find osmething more important to do then hang out with some girls.

    But...once I get attached, sometimes my old habits come back (over-thinking, jealousy, clingy)...What gives? :hsd: These habits used to be there even when I *wasn't* attached...so I'm glad I got over that...but...I'd like to be able to keep it light, funny and carefree without overthinking when I *do* get attached...
     
  19. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    Awesome post Poco :bowdown:

    But.. girls like jerks because they have tons of confidence. Though we all know, you don't have to be a jerk to be confident :coold:

    I should come in here more often. Sweet advice :hsd:
     
  20. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Thanks.

    Actually, women like confident men and put up with the jerk attitude problem until something better comes along, they grow up, or any other number of deal breakers. It's the confidence they are attracted to, not the jerk. :bigthumb:
     
  21. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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  22. TheManLouisianaFace

    TheManLouisianaFace and decide!

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    thanks nigger
     
  23. NotSoSmart

    NotSoSmart New Member

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    Thanks man...
     
  24. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    thats because they think that if they continually be nice and get you things, you'll eventually get back together with them..they don't realize when it's time to move on.

    I'm a nice guy, but I'm not that extreme, thank god.
     
  25. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    When did you go gay? :confused:
     

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