I figured posting this in the main forum would get me flamed, so I ventured in here.. Forgive the rambling.. I don't really know where to start. I'm in the second semester of my sophomore year of college, and I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I know that sounds dumb, but it's seriously dragging me down. My uncle is paying for my school, and I've just fucked around pretty much the entire time I've been here. Yeah, I'll go to class, and I'll participate, but that's about it, and my grades reflect that. Since I don't know what I want to do for a major, most of my classes are fairly random, so I don't really take them seriously. I'm on critical academic probation at the moment, which in high school (if they had such a thing) would have made me so completely freaked out, I would have busted ass to get back on track. In college, though, I just don't feel the same motivation. I don't know what it is, but if I don't pull at least a 2.5 GPA this semester, I'm out of IU for at least on semester. Despite what some people on OT think, I'm really not a dumb person. I always did well in high school, and I don't see myself as being completely academically inept. I just don't care. Part of this still goes back to last year when my mom was in the hospital. I think part of me always sees her in that bed and dying, and it just makes me want to be at home with her, even though I know she's going to be fine for at least awhile. Every time she calls, I feel guilty for leaving her alone (my parents are divorced) to come to school.. But at the same time, every time I go home, I don't feel like it's "home" for me anymore. It feels foreign after being away for a year and a half. I just feel alone. For the past two weeks, I haven't gone to many of my classes. I've pretty much just sat in my room with the shades pulled, either playing online, sleeping or watching TV. I have no motivation.. And I think that's what's seriously depressing me. This is the first time I've ever felt this shitty, and I don't know how to handle it. I've considered going into the health center to talk with the free counselors to see if that will help.. But I just don't know. Once again, I'm sorry for the rambling. It just kind of all came out at once.