[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was just thinking back on a time last spring. It just popped into my head. I ad gone down to the local track at a high school and was running. I decided to run for about 45 minutes or so...and pushed myself to do it the whole time. A group of kids came walking out of the wood line. They had trash bags and were picking things up off the ground. They looked really poor. 2 black girls maybe 11 or 12 years old, and they had 3 small children maybe 2-4 years old. A boy and 2 girls. They were all mezmerized by me 'cuz of how fast I was running. The two older girls were slightly over-weight. I remember thinking to myself how sad they looked and I had the impression they were gathering pecans and stuff in the bags. I started to encourage them and they were all running around the track with me. by the end of it these kids had really taken to me. I told them how to keep a pace, and gave them good words telling them they were doing a good job. They wanted to know all sors of things about me and my excersising. I could tell that thier world was so different from mine. That this was something they would not forget. There was no anger or pain or confusion. I told them I'd come back a few days later and run withthem some more. They were really excited. It was around that time that my step dad had died and things were so crazy. I never made it back. Those kids probably did and I can't stop crying right now. I was another person who let them down. God had givin me a chance to make a positive influence in te lives of those girls and those small children and I screwed it up.[/FONT] Wierd, I had a dream about that school a couple weeks before i ever went there. I drempt I was inside the building trying to help a teacher with the kids...but I was so thirsty, and I couldn't find any water. I just hate myself for this and I needed to get this out.I keep thinking about those girls being there and I wasn't there. I grew up real hard. Had allot of abuse in my past, saw some really ugly things. I can remember very few people that were really positive when I was a child. I mean like 2 or three occasions total. I imagine thats what it was like for these girls. How the fuck could I let them down and be so selfish, make a promise to them and not keep it? I just needed to get this out. I am so fucking mad at myself. I wish I could find them and oppologize. Things were just so screwed up at the time.