i couldn't get it up, i fail @ life

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Capicu, Nov 11, 2006.

  1. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    im 19, not 99

    i slept this morning for 2 hours after not sleeping for about 4 days straight, trying to study

    this is the first time this has ever happened to me

    well woke up in the morning with morning-wood after sleeping for like 2 hours

    i had a bio midterm in the morning that ended up getting canceled cuz some shithead stole the exams and they found out.......

    so, me and my girl had plans to go have fun at a motel..... blah

    we go, shes bitching the whole way but wants to go through with it,

    we want the room w/ the jacuzzi, and its not available, ok fine.

    so we take watever we can.....

    bad idea, we got stuck with a room that looked like someone's grandmas room.

    total turn off for both of us,

    i start playing a lil with her, getting her into the mood, and now shesfeeing me, great, i go to put on the condom, and my shit dies on me.like dead, completely.

    i get it up like 40 more times but i can't manage to keep it up

    i can't get it up at all right now, wat the fuck [​IMG]

    i fail @ life
     
  2. sixpercent

    sixpercent Active Member

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    i cant keep it up on an empty stomach, lol. Im 20 btw.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    wtf do u mean u fail at life. ur dick didn't work. try again later. stop beating yourself up.
     
  4. theaznfunk

    theaznfunk B-boy fanatic

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    dawt. Your shit won't work from time to time, whether it be due to stress or whatnot. Relax, your dick will come around.
     
  5. Homeless

    Homeless New Member

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    it happens once in awhile. If it happens alot though, that may be signs of a problem
     
  6. enfiniti

    enfiniti How firm thy friendship ... OHIO!

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    no av... sucks to be you

    buy viagra
     
  7. RubiconSahara

    RubiconSahara OT Supporter

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    Stress can cause it. I was out of work for nearly a year and got depressed and stressed out about the financial situation I was in at the time. I couldn't get it up either. Doctor gave me samples of lavitra that also didn't work. I got a job offer and by god I had wood like crazy!!
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I believe I found your problem.

    Why do you think you can abuse your body and still have it work properly?
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you need to rest man. take a nap together and give it another go
     
  10. Toda Party

    Toda Party .....

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    I didn't even read anything after "not sleeping for about 4 days straight, trying to study". Not sleeping for 4 days is going to make you an idiot- it won't help you perform in ANY situation, physically or mentally.
     
  11. Tiberium

    Tiberium Active Member

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    If it makes you feel better...I've never ejaculated during sex...I've always had to do it myself.
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    welcome to life
     
  13. GlocksRock

    GlocksRock Glock > You

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    don't feel bad, that shit has happened to me a few times, in the presence of of a hot chick with a great body... it sucks major ass, but live moves on.
     
  14. dontfearthegovt

    dontfearthegovt New Member

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    yeah my dick kept on getting soft on me the first time i had sex out of sheer nervousness.
     
  15. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    all that stress was a recipe for a failed boner even if you are only 19.
     
  16. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    we tried fucking again today

    i couldn't do it, i was up the whole time, full erection, as soon as i made my penis touched her vagina i went down. all the way.

    she jacked me off and i got right back up, and then we tried again and i barely put the tip in and it went right back down.....

    what the fuck

    i have to admit i was thinking about that other time with her and worried about maintaining it but that shouldn't be a problem

    i wake up with morning wood every single day and jacking off takes HOURS for me

    so WHAT THE FUCK

    and its not that i can't get aroused with her because i did and i want to fuck her so badly, but what the fuck

    im worried and i think maybe i should see a doctor
     
  17. AndrewLD

    AndrewLD New Member

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    Anxiety?
     
  18. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    The most important points are highlighted for you. Trust me, I can relate, and I take it very personally when I can't get hard. One of the main reasons why I don't go after women (among all my insecurities and self-esteem issues) is because I'm afraid I would not be able to maintain an erection during sex, and that is far more humiliating and worse than not ever having sex to me. I've often lost my erections or have not been able to get erections during sex, and most of it (I think) is due to performance pressure, anxiety, and depression. Other times I am hard as a rock and perform like a mother fucker...so what else could it be?

    The problem here now is that you have set a precedent for yourself. You failed to maintain an erection ONCE and you view this as a terrible disaster. You now are afraid that the next time you have sex, you will not be able to keep it up. You want to keep it up so bad and you want sex so bad, and you're so worried that it won't work out. That is a recipe for disaster right there, as you have learned this other time that you've lost it.

    I can tell you what the doctor will tell you: it's purely psychological. However, I would not discourage you from seeing a doctor. I saw one and that's what he told me. The reason why I'm glad I went is because he gave me a sample bottle of Cialis. That shit is *GREAT*. I think the whole psychological aspect of taking a pill and not having to worry about my erection worked better than the chemical aspect of the pill. Taking it was like "OK, I'm good, I have this pill, I cannot fail" and bam...rock hard.

    You need to understand this sooner than later because it becomes a cycle of torture. The more you stress about it, the less likely you will maintain an erection, which will only lead to more stressing. Understand that every man experiences this, but not every man is man enough to admit it. Understand that this can and will happen to you from time to time, and it's generally (especially with the younger crowd) due to psychological factors...stress, anxiety, depression, etc.

    I should also point out that waking up with morning wood is pretty much a given, and it would be absurd to use that as a comparison against why you lost an erection during sex. I don't know the science behind it, but there's a reason why morning wood exists.

    Have you openly talked to your girlfriend about it? Have you admitted that you are upset about it and talked about how you're worried about fulfilling her pleasures? This would be an excellent step for you to take if you haven't. Opening the lines of communication really takes you outside of your internal self-deprecation. If you get it out in the open, a great relief will come over you, and you will get the extra boost to get rock hard and rail her all night long.
     
  19. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    I dunno about the OP, but that makes me feel better. When I first started having sex, it took me a while to orgasm from anything. After about a month, I could finally orgasm from a handjob, then a blowjob, then eventually after another month, from vaginal sex. I've always thought something was wrong with me. I still have difficulties every now and then achieving orgasm from sex. I pretty much have equated it to massive amounts of masturbation (dry) and porn, so I've gotten used to a certain form of stimulation, and I've gotten used to when to speed up, slow down, etc. Sex is totally different from that. Have you talked to a doctor or therapist about this?
     
  20. Capicu

    Capicu New Member

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    yea i've spoken to her about it, the problem is i don't kno how i can prevent the thought of failure from coming into my head when the time comes

    the part about morning wood is just reassuring myself that its not erectile dysfunction because i can get it up, the problem was right when i was about to penetrate her, i got soft.
     
  21. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    This is pretty much the only solution, but probably one of the hardest things to actually follow through on: don't think about it. Nearly impossible, right? Now, a little tip about "not thinking about things." Keep this in mind: you cannot change your action, only your reaction. Therefore, you cannot change the fact that you thought about it, you can only change the way you react to it. Instead of freaking out, you can accept that it's only a thought, and it really doesn't matter to you.

    One of the best fixes for this is spontaneous sex. Don't plan on having sex. Don't anticipate sex. Let it just happen. The key to really not thinking about it is to get caught up in the moment. I've noticed I've been the most successfully at sex when I'm just swept into it and caught in the moment. If I anticipate it, I allow all the "what ifs" and thoughts of failure to pop in my head.

    I think you want it too much and you're setting your expectations so high that you fall so hard if something goes wrong. Understand that you will always get another chance, and one, two, three, or four failures to maintain an erection is not a disaster. This is something within your control. Don't let the voice of doubt tell you otherwise.
     
  22. TheProwler

    TheProwler Active Member

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    busy - do you use pills now, or just that one time as a confidence booster?
     
  23. hotsauce

    hotsauce New Member

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    best noob advice ever

    i had trouble getting off for a long time too-- from anything. i could go at it for hours and i thought i was going to blow eventually, but i never did. when i started having sex it was hard for me to keep an erection going when putting a condom on, then during intercourse, then having an orgasm. it sucks but it goes away if you dont think about it and just let it flow
     
  24. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    I've had that happen to me on more than one occassion, particularly in my less experienced days. It was all anxiety really.
     

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