SRS I can't stop thinking about her, i cant.......

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by shiba kesaigi!, Sep 21, 2005.

  1. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    I know this sounds stupid, but here i am, been in the asylum im not afriad to tell you guys the truth.
    I met this one girl, we used to go to the same middle school, then she moved to england and now is going to oxford. I am staying here going to UC riverside. We havent talked for about 4 yrs (high school) and started talking recently when she came back. and we fell in love so fast that I didnt believe it was love. long story short, we fell in love in 15 days. Now that I am willing to do anything for her but at the same time sex isnt an important thing for me anymore. I just want to be with her... just want to be with her. On her side, she has brought me to see her parents several times and her mom loves me. Her mom told me that I am the first male she brought home. But the thing is that shes going to oxford for 4 YEARS. that means i wont be able to be with her for 4 yrs even though im pretty sure i will see her in this 4 yrs. NOW we made promises to each other that we will wait for 4 years. but god ... I cant take this anymore. it has only been 2 days and I cry everysingle day. or every second i think about her. She hasnt slept for 2 days and I am worried about her. I mean i am not regreting the choice i made when i found out shes going to oxford but man.. i cant take it anymore. What should i do? what can i do? and what is the best thing for me to do. right now, its 3am here and i just cant sleep without her. god. please.. tell me what to do...
     
  2. Crotchy

    Crotchy New Member

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    Love is something weird.. honestly, if your bond is that strong, you have to keep on doing what your doing there.. Or you can move.
    If you are true to yourselves than, 4 years from now it will work out.... thing is. moving there is not a cheap expense and will be a large challenge.. but if your heart says that you should be there by her side, then go be by her side and do anything possible to be with her... But make sure that this is what Both of you want.
    Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
    After a while, she will be able to go about her life again and study and concentrate on her school while thinking of you and the love that you have and you will be able to do the same, and that way, when you see each other again, you will truely savour those moments that both will share together.
    Nothing is easy in a relationship, but if you can make a long distance relatiopnship work, you will make your relationship work. Guaranteed
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Promise ring. Phone calls. And calendars to mark the days till she returns.

    Sometimes these things do work out. It's no mystery why some girls stray, and others stay. If you and she BOTH really want to be together, you will, it's that simple.

    Time is short, and it sounds like she's deeply into you too, so you might as well discuss everything before she leaves again.

    Sometimes it's good when fate and circumstance force our hand to act. Otherwise some people would be too chickenshit to ever make the move.
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Sounds a bit obsessive. Watch out...that can be a turn off.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You'd think it's a bit obsessive, but he seems to say that SHE is equally into him.
    If that is true...well then...good luck and many happy years to both of you.
     
  6. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    Well, if the both of you are equally obsessed with each other then it should only be a matter of time then.

    What DOES seem to work ease the sense of absence are the little things... daily emails, cards, little gifts, phone calls. Try doing video chat daily and keep each other up to date and attentive.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Yeah. Best of luck.

    Although...

    year 1: blissfully happy, fuck like rabbits when she comes home during break, video chat 25x/week
    year 2: school's busier, still fuck when she comes home, she's really involved at school tho
    year 3: might not come home, too busy. turns out she does come home anyways to see the parents, but doesn't tell him about it. he finds out anyway
    year 4: she's with this guy she met last year. HE was the reason she didn't want to come home (couldn't bear to be away)
     
  8. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    Well love is a complex thing which I will never will understand I guess. Though here is a story about my teacher who fell in love with his now wife.

    They both where in College, but they did not know each other or even really see each other ever. Though one day my teacher ran into this girl, and they started to talk. After the first week he proposed to her and she said yes. Later they got married and it has been over 20+ years now, and they are still in love. :)

    When it comes to love anything is possible!
     
  9. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    Its really hard to write a 300 words email everyday and the only way out is vide chat i guess. im visitng her 3 times/yr and shes coming here 2 time/yr too. wish me good luck guys. good luck.
     
  10. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    god, this one hits me hard as fuck. it got me thinking, this would be the nastiest ending ever. i truly hope this will not happen in the future
     
  11. JpnDude

    JpnDude New Member

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    It will be tough, but you guys will get used to not being together physically. However, the trick is to keep the feeling of wanting to be together going. I suggest getting some PC microphones and webcams in addition to your emails or other communication. It is not much, but will help ease the torture you seem to be going through. Good luck.
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

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    hey take it easy, who knows what the future will bring.
    For good or for ill, whatever happens will be beneficial to you. Relax and enjoy your time together.
     
  13. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    No doubt man...hey I've been in your exact place before, I understand.

    Like Johan said, you can't guess what might come in the future. I know it's painfully hard to do in a LD thing where the odds are stacked against you.

    The ONLY thing you can do now is enjoy the journey. If you're NOT happy and satisfied JUST to have someone care for you but be apart from you....then perhaps this isn't your thing.

    4 years is a long haul, so you'd have to find ways to be happy and satisfied together along the way....otherwise, you're going to have a majority of your years in this misery state, and then just have these little visitation periods of temporary happiness.
     
  14. shiba kesaigi!

    shiba kesaigi! New Member

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    thanks for all the tips.
    i forgot to mention that her entire family has met me and is support our relationships. esp her mom, she likes me alot. She is one of those girl that will listen to her mom and dad no matter what, will that increase the chance?
    i just cant.. cant.. stop thinkin of her.s
     
  15. tehexile

    tehexile New Member

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    enjoy
     
  16. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest


    What you can do is stop being such a needy clingy boyfriend. Seriously, do you want to drive her away forever? Do you have a life? If you think I am being harsh on you, then understand that you need it.

    Look man, this girl is going to college to further her career. Obviously she has some self respect and some goals, and she has the drive to persue them. You on the other hand I am wondering about because she is going away and you are throwing a tantrum. I'm sure making yourself look desperate for her attention and company really makes her think highly of you. If you acted like that to me I would think that you need to get a life and grow up. If I were her I wouldn't consider you dating material if you kept this up, I'd be looking at this going away thing as a bonus to get away from you and move on. Suck it up bro, she's going to college. If she is your entire life then your problem isn't her leaving, the problem is that you need a life and some goals of your own. Seriously.

    How serious are the two of you? It sounds to me like it is in the early stage of dating, yet you are already becoming desperately needy and clingy. Girls will drop guys like that because no one likes that kind of behavior. I'm not saying that you cannot miss her, or want to be with her, but you are taking it far overboard. You want to do her a favor? Then quit stressing out because you will only make moving away harder for her and she doesn't need that added stress. If you give her that then she likely will drop you for good.

    You will see her from time to time, this is an adjustment you are going to have to make. Long distance relationships are hard enough to make work and if you continue this trend of behavior you are only working against what you really want. The best thing for you do to is suck it up, get a life and quit attaching your happiness to someone else. Happiness comes from within, not from without and if you are using her to be happy you need to do some serious thinking. Go persue your own goals and see her when you can. When you talk to her, don't ever stress about how bad your life is without her not matter what-even if she says the same. Be a good boyfriend but have a life of your own and show her that you have a backbone enough to have a happy life with or without her.
     
  17. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Exactly.
     
  18. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I'm not sure what the point is here. When someone is in trouble and looking for sound advice, an outrageous story-no matter how true-is an exception, not a rule, and usually isn't worth offering as advice in a situation. It tends to give people false hopes.
     
  19. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Quit beating yourself up. What good is that train of thought to you or her? Are you trying to make yourself miserable? Of course it is an option but something like this is out of your control so the more you obsess about it, the more you make this a more likely scenario.
     
  20. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    The point of it was that everyone is different and might work for one person, but not the other. Just because a person thinks it is obsessive to them might not think it is obsessive to the two people. Love is not a simple, but more complex then anyone can imagine. Like I said when it comes to love anything is possible. I am just putting a different view on something that is all.

    Also anyone not believing the story can call the Flathead High School in Montana ;).
     
  21. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Read what you are saying man.

    ...this one girl...
    ...we fell in love in 15 days...
    ...we will wait for 4 years...
    ...it has only been 2 days and I cry everysingle day...

    "tell me what to do..."

    How about 'grow a pair'. I'm saying this because I've been there, and you are just going to get hurt with an attitude like the one you have. Seriously, have men all become sissies?

    You need to go out and meet ten other girls this weekend. Maybe then you won't put all your eggs in one basket.
     
  22. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I'm not saying I don't believe the story, I just don't see how it is relevant, or how it helps the situation. IMO this guy has more serious problems to address and just telling him, "love is complex, sometimes it works out" really does nothing for the situation.
     

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