SRS I can't stop thinking about her, and crying

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by IspitHotFire, Sep 23, 2005.

  1. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    My GF of 10 months on her birthday semi cheated on me, the next day i catch her in her lie and we go on a break. We get back together that night, then 2 days later she decides she wants to be single in college (both freshman, she lives 2 floors below me)

    THis really hurt me. I've done nothing but love her to the best I could for 10 months and we'd been through so much together, for her to decide she didnt want it anymore and would rather be single fucking hurts. Im probably going to start crying a little when I write this.

    Flashforward to yesterday. We were talking about the future, and lots of crying on both sides. She had always talked about marriage and how I would be the perfect man she wanted to marry, and was even asking me to look at housing options for this summer to live together :wtc:

    So we are talking, sort of making up, Im trying my best to be forgiving and still be a part of her life because Im her best friend. As im about to leave I catch her and her lie face and find out from her she slept with the one guy who has been trying to get in her pants since day 2 of college, THE DAY AFTER WE BROKEUP. BARELY EVEN 24 HOURS OF BEING SINGLE SHE SLEEPS WITH ANOTHER GUY, then wasnt even going to tell me and was saying how she couldnt get into a relationship right now or have sex.

    I'm fucking hurt. I'm sorry, I've never been emotional EVER in my life for something like this. She was my 1st real GF and the relationship we had was amazing. I had been good, almost to the point of too good, to her. The day of her birthday I was so looking forward taking her out to dinner and buying her an amazing ring to replace her current promise ring - but she cheated on me the night before. Then after we got back together, we plan to go out, then we break up and 1 day later shes fucking some guy.


    I feel like someone took my heart and ripped it to shreds. Im trying to move on and function but its really really hard. She was so much a part of my life everyday taks become hard - eating, I think of her because we always ate together, shopping, sleeping, doing fun things..


    Now she wants me to be her best friend and still a part of her life with the option to get back together down the line My question is how will this help me get over her, I know it will be damn near impossible for me to get backtogether after she has slept with 20 guys, or should I even be her best friend after all the hurt she has done to me. She broke away from a relationship in which she still loved me so much, just didnt want to miss out on the college life or hurt me any farther

    Probably nobody will read this. I have nobody to talk to, except her which is very hard. Ive never had this happen to me in life before and i dont know what to do. The prospect of going out to meet girls and get into another relationship is scary and i dont know when ill be ready to do it. Just last night I went to the club with my fraternity, got a lil wasted and danced with this girl all night long. All I could think about was my ex gf :wtc:

    I came home and cried for a while, then one of my friends (girl) came in and got me feeling a little better.

    But right now im crying, thinking about what the fuck happened as of 3 days ago to my life.
     
  2. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    oh get this, load up IE today for the first time in months, had my ex gfs hotmail saved, it logged right into it and I find pictures of the day after we brokeup, she went to a bar/club and is making out drunk with the guy who fucked her later that night.

    Gee, that certainly helped my day out a lot .
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Something very similar just happened to me a few weeks ago. The thing that helped the most was cutting off all contact with her, tossing pictures, deleting her from my contact list, etc.

    Maybe when I can think about her or bring up memories without feeling anxiety I'll contact her again and try to be friends.

    What it comes down to, is that you've given enough of your personal energy/power to her. Don't give her anymore of your energy. Healing goes faster if you stop picking at the wounds.
     
  4. RotiEatter

    RotiEatter New Member

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    It will be hard too, but try to cut her out.
    Avoid her, Ignore her calls, etc. She's a bitch and is just going to make everyday of your life worse than the day before if you put up with her shit.
     
  5. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    A couple of things. You are a freshman in college. How many thousands of other people are there? roughly 1/2 of which are woman?

    I know you don't want to think along this line, as it's easier to cling to misery, and wring your hands over what you had.

    Yes, you've lost something dear to your heart, and that will leave a scar, that in some cases doesn't ever heal over. However, you've also been given a gift.

    Freedom to explore. Freedom of guilt/concience.

    You both are very young yet. If you honestly love her unselfishly, let her go. Something is/was missing enough so that she felt she needed to go look for it. Do you really want to be with someone who has that ache, or hole in them that they're always looking out for that other missing part? Yes, ideally she would/could have talked to you about what it was that was missing, and you could have worked together towards that object.

    Many times, that's one of the reasons why people want to "remain friends" - the other is the obvious "fall back plan" - and a final reason, is guilt. Most people have a tough time hurting other people, and/or breaking hearts when they have legitmately shared wonderful times in the past.

    Now back to my earlier point. You are a freshman on campus? There are how many thousands of other people on campus? How many hundrends of social opportunities, groups, clubs, fraternities, workout opportunities?

    In my humble opinion, even if you two hadn't broken up, the fact that "she was the only one you could talk to" is potentially a big problem in and of itself.

    Get out there, get to know people. No, you don't have to bear your soul to each and every one of them.

    As for the timing of when she got laid. How many of us guys have done the same thing after a breakup?

    In fact, all too often here in the asylum, that'll be the first advice a guy is given: "go bang some hoes..."

    I've been there, done that in the past. physically it feels just as good as the ex, if not better. emotionally, not quite so good.

    A final thought, and I'll step off my soap box. Do not, I repeat do not treat the women you meet in the future like shit, and/or distrust, because of what your ex has done, or will do. They are a new beginning, and should not have to pay for the "sins" of your ex.
     
  6. adamc637

    adamc637 Carry my hay, bitch.

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    Don't be her best friend. That's the shit life. Obviously, she doesn't care about you in the way you want her to, so being her friend is just about the worst thing you could do.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Don't have any more contact with her. She wants everything for her.
    She just wants the option to use you for emotional support/punching bag if she ever feels the need.

    Don't have any more contact with her. None. It's done.
    Stand up for yourself man.
     
  8. getoffofit

    getoffofit New Member

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    exactly! couldnt have said it better myself. dump her like fecal matter.
    youre only a freshman, theres soooo much more out there for you. you shouldnt trouble yourself with this type of bullshit right now.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    As said we are here for you :hug:

    It all comes down to that you DONT want a liar in your life, because that is what she basically is. I want you to understand that you should never go into a relationship expecting things to work out just because it concerns your case. Furthermore she cheated on you not semi cheated, and she is moving again forward in her life i encourage you to do the same. It is absolutely useless , and it shows you a hard lesson that a partner has to be beautifull from the inside too, looks can be deceiving therefore its her loss because that guy will give her the bad karma back by using her and then dumping her in a simular fashion. Just cry all the tears you have to cry, then pick up the pieces, start glueing and when things are more or less repaired again you will move forward again with your life, trust me i've been there. Its not a pretty sight but your better off without her an a better person if you do so.
     
  10. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    its gonna tear you apart even more if you're gonna be her best friend. she'll start telling you about the guys shes been hooking up with and all that other shit that would piss you off.

    shes CHEATED on you. thats a big deal man. cut all ties. stand up for yourself. you're the man.
     
  11. kaxfenix

    kaxfenix Guest


    Dont be sad for the things she has done. She is the fucked up one. If anything you should be angry. Fuck that bitch, man. You gave her everything and she screwed you over. Do you really want to be sad and miss being with some one like that. I went through something very much the same as you. I know your pain and suffering. But now is the time to stand up. You are a person and you have feelings, and these feelings do not deserve to be trashed like that. Your best offense to this is to let her go. NO MORE CONTACT. She calls you tell her to ( in a nice way dont go to her level ) to Fuck off and good bye. You are a man, you WILL find some one else, and YOU WILL BE HAPPY !!! Dont start going down the train of thought " I dont want any one but her." Listen to your self. Do you really want to me a pussy whipped little bitch and let her malnipulate you so much you have no idea what is left and what is right ? Let her play her head games on some other poor sap. You will walk away from this stronger, and your life will get better. There are so many awesome women out there that want to be treated right, and want nothing more than to treat their significant other right. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.
    You are free to do whatever you want now, so enjoy :bigthumb:
     
  12. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I'm sorry you have had to go through this, it sucks. Look at the bright side though, it was only 10 months. It's better than being with a cheating whore that wastes years of your time, be happy that you found out who she is this soon.

    Don't you even dare be making excuses for her. I don't care how much you love her, she is a cheater, she didn't respect you or your feelings enough to not cheat on you so don't sit there and make excuses in your head for her actions. I know that you care about her but now it the time to cut off ALL CONNECTIONS with her and realize that she is what she is and you only loved what you thought she was. She's a damn cheater with no respect for you or your feelings, and she even had the audacity to ask you to be there FOR HER. Give me a goddamn break. F this damn hoe. You should not be feeling sad. Have some damn self respect and be pissed off that someone you gave your trust to handled it so carelessly.

    I cannot believe that you tried to take her back after she cheated on you and you should be kicking your own ass for even attempting to forgive her. She's not your wife, you don't have kids with her. You're a young guy that should not be putting up with cheaters, nor forgiving them. In fact, I think part of what you did wrong in this relationship (besides dating a cheater) is becoming a pushover. Yes, I said it. You're a damn pushover. A doormat. I am not trying to insult you, but you need a wake up call. You need to realize what you were doing is wrong. In the paragraph that I quoted from you above says it all. You gave her all you could for 10 months. What about yourself? Most nice guys like yourself ALWAYS make the same mistake in dating and that is putting HER number one. That's not realistically how you establish a strong respecting relationship. You have to put YOU first. I'm not talking about being selfish, I am talking about having some self respect. You showed to me that you don't have much self respect when you tried to take her back after she cheated on you. C'mon man, she had another guys cock inside her when you were in the middle of giving her all that you could. Why the hell would you disrespect yourself like that and basically tell her, "I forgive you baby, that's how much I love you..." All you did was give her a free pass to walk all over your ass some more. I'm glad for your sake that she left.

    Love isn't one sided. I am not talking about you loving her, and her loving you. I'm talking about you loving her and you loving yourself. I sincerely doubt this girl never showed any warning signs. You probably either didn't know how to pick up on them because you were too busy apologizing for yourself in arguements or because you didn't know how to see them. Having a good relationship isn't about you giving and giving and giving because all you are really doing is handing your partner the pants in the relationship to basically do whatever they want. That person cannot respect you when you don't give a shit about your own needs and wants. You have to have a backbone, you have to have self respect. If she wrongs you, you don't back down in the confrontation because YOU WEREN'T WRONG. Your partner has to know that you refuse to be walked on or taken advantage of. They have to know you have self respect. A lot of guys are naive when they first start dating and think that a girl only wants a selfless guy who only gives. The reality is that guys like that are doormats. They view the girl as if she is a goddess to be worshipped and he is there to give her whatever she wants. That's not how it works. Women want a guy who is a man. They want an equal partner, not a spineless worshipper. A guy like that will be taken advantage of over and over again and eventually dumped when the girl grows tired of him.

    At this point, you have a fresh start. You are single and are in college. This is the time for opportunity. You are free now of someone not worthy of your time. You have the type of love to give that will not cheat. You are the type of guy that will be faithful and will truly love someone. Why would you want to give that love to a cheating bitch like your ex? There is a much more deserving woman out there, but in order to find her, you are going to have to be able to put your foot down and be a man. Don't let anyone take advantage of you like that ever again.
     
  13. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    FUCK THAT BITCH. Never talk to her again, it will hurt her.
     
  14. SolShinobi

    SolShinobi New Member

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    Ok, i really feel you man. I will say this. Her wanting you around is her way of telling you she's a selfish bitch. She'll string you along with no accountablility of your feelings. Don't do it. You will regret it. I won't say "move on" cause that doesn't tell you have to "move on" in the first damn place.

    Stay busy, Hobbies, work, the key is not let your mind be idle with thoughts of her that will only cause more pain.

    Go out with friends and meet other girls. This helps big time with not thinking, focusing or idle thoughts of the painful past.

    Realize what a evil bitch she really is. Don't fool yourself. Don't allow flawed thinking to enter your mind that she will come back and all that crap. Even if she did you'd set yourself up for more pain.

    Avoid her at all costs if possible. Run-ins with her are only reminders. The key here is to not be come bitter (albeit hard as hell) yet retain enough of the "lesson learned" that when you meet someone else, don't fall into the same traps.


    I know you might ask...."what traps?" You will have to think about how this happened to you. I do want to tell you the truth, but at the same time, I don't want to lead you down the path of bitterness. That's your call.
     
  15. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Wow, this sucks. This brings back memeories of what happenned to me recently. Something similar happenned to me as well. It happenned during my last week of college too, 1 week before my graduation, so I feel your pain man. My fucking bitch of an Ex made what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life into one of the most miserable. Listen to everybody on here. Forget that bitch. She can go fuck herself. I did and even though sometimes it still hurts, it makes the healing process much faster. Trust me, there are much better girls out there. Have respect for yourself and move on. Yeah, you may still want her back, but do you really want to spend the rest of your life with somebody who disrespected you like that?

    And from now on, just ignore the bitch. Whatever thoughts of revenge you may have let it go. Things will take care of themselves. Remember... vengeance is a bitch, but karma just shits on you. I give her 6 months before she starts to realize how fucked up what she did was and starts running back to you after getting fucked over by the new guy.

    So move on man, and let this be a lesson to you. Take whatever mistakes you have learned from this relationship (including not reading weill enough how fucked up of a bitch she was) and use those lessons to help you on the next relationship you have. I guess it's true that in almost every man's life, there's always that one woman that fucks him up royally in one way or another. Good luck buddy. We're here for ya.
     
  16. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    If this happens the thread starter BETTER NOT take her back.

    That's why I hate it when I see guys post shit like this, all you do is give them hope that this will happen. This is not what we want. He needs to move on and understand that this girl is not worth another second.
     
  17. smokeater270

    smokeater270 New Member

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    we're all here for ya :hugot:

    If this bitch really loved you, she wouldnt be going around fucking other guys. One day you'll find someone who doesnt break up with you and that night become a bar whore, and truly deeply loves you.

    Just sever all contact with her and never talk to her again, and if she comes crawling back, knock her down at you front door, dont let her in.

    Best of luck
     
  18. Fred91GTA

    Fred91GTA New Member

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    Dogg, you misunderstand me. I know he needs to move on. Which is why if you read the sentence before that, it says YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. I totally agree with you that the bitch isn't worth another second. I was just stating the fact that all women come back to the guy she left after being fucked over. It's their nature to if they're that selfish. Don't you think it's better he know that it may happen now and be ready for it rather than him not knowing and taking that whore back anyway? He better not take her back when that shit happens. That's the point we're trying to make. No matter what, there's no going back. Please read the posts thoroughly first next time. Thanks.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2005
  19. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    My bad.
     
  20. SolShinobi

    SolShinobi New Member

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    Quoted for truth. Diggity, if more men thought like that many of us would be better off an not jump off the deep end.


    Also agreeing with others on the same point. The focus is to move on. Too many times our good hearted nature, amplified by our feelings for that person (using that term loosely) try so hard for someone not even worth it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2005
  21. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    Well I did it last night. I hung out with her most of the day, even sat in a class with her. It was just reminding me so much of how much fun we used to have and how madly in love we were.

    Then we went back to her room and I told her she probably had a facebook relationship request from her new BF. She did and was all giddy and happy and all her friends were like ooooooooooooo. That was hard for me. Then we cuddled and slept for like 2 hours.

    The rest of the night all I could think of was how dumb she is, how she let our entire relationship slip away in the span of 3 weeks. Fuck 5 days before we brokeup she wrote me this letter saying how perfect I was and how happy I made her. 2 days later she hooked up with someone else drunk.


    Thanks OT. At first I didn't listen to what you guys said and what was deep inside of me, but 2 weeks has shown me how dumb she is and not even worth being my friend after what she did. Im a much stronger person because of this. woo.
     
  22. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Please tell me why you are even hanging out with her? What is your problem man?! Do have zero self respect? You should never talk to this disrespectful cheating whore again. Jesus Christ!
     
  23. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You should take the car for one last spin around the block before returning it to the rental agency.

    Cram your foot to the floor. You know what I mean.
     
  24. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I just reread this again and it really makes me just sick to my stomach. You have absolutely no balls or self respect. This is something you have to remedy right away.
    Are you reading what you just said?! Take a long look at it! You told her she had a facebook relationship request from her new boyfriend. She acknowledged that she did and was giddy and happy about it with all of her friends right in front of your face. Then what do you do? You go and cuddle with her and sleep in the same bed for 2 hours? WTF is wrong with you man? Sheesh! Can you say Captain Doormat? No wonder she is looking elsewhere you she can disrespect you like this and you are still begging for scraps left over from this new guy.

    I sincerely hope you learn to respect yourself enough to see your behavior and her behavior for what it is. Then I hope you take the right actions and move on from this girl. But I am sure you will probably continue to beg for her attention or even scraps left over just so you have a chance to hang around on the sidelines in case she decides she is bored enough to use you for some temporary comfort before she goes right back to someone else. You cannot be proud of yourself. But then again, it's probably not ALL your fault, just most of it. You probably have those girls all being sympathetic to your crush situation and aren't telling you that you have no pair of balls an no one could respect you enough to remain exclusive with you when all you do is lay down and take it up the ass for your crushes. Instead they probably will keep that information silent, and will tell you that you are sweet and kind and that one day you will get your due. Well, that isn't going to happen until you learn to stand up for yourself and refuse to be walked on like a doormat.

    Update us so we can see whether or not you choose to do something, or you choose to continue to be an emotional tampon/doormat to your crush while she is still sucking another mans cock.
     
  25. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    I should probably have linked the thread I made in OT last night.

    I had made a facebook group called "We don't love them hoes" and it had a picture of her with an X through her face. The group description read " a group for guys who will never love a ho again".

    It says nothing about her. It had 16 members including one of her "friends", so I had the group on invisible . Well the other day when I finally got rid of my denial and realized what a dumb whore she was I made it public and invited her.


    Its 11pm. Im sleeping. She comes into my room very angry and pissed off. She hits me and then starts going on about how immature it was to make that group and blah blah blah. I basically told her we are not together anymore I can do whatever the fuck I want. She then got mad at me for it again and just a big cycle. I told her oh well I made it when I was mad at her and forgot about it.

    All this happened yesterday, when I decided that she was worthless and had to be out of my life. I blocked her from AIM, Facebook, and sent her some Ims when she was away last night telling her how dumb she was and how I never wanted to see her ever again.

    So then flash forward to last night, the only thing I said to her was that Imade a fucking FACEBOOK group and you are this upset, while you cheated on me lied to me and made me look like a fool? And you are pissed off at me?

    So she leaves saying this is the last time Ill ever talk to her and I said OKAY! she then said she is going to give me back my Ipod FM adaptor in 18 peices.

    So I tried to call her or im her because she went off the fucking deep end, she was going psycho. She is so emotionally unstable that this just did it for her, because it involves the one things she holds highest in this world, the opinions of her friends and what her friends think of her.

    I called her and left a message saying sorry maybe it was immature but its just a group. 10 minutes later I called back left a message saying you know what? Im sorry you are this angry, but im not sorry for what I did and I hope you cry for a very long time. Have a nice life slut.


    Last night was probably the best night of college. I had so much adrenaline going through me and It just felt so good. I feel so much better. She is out of my life and I finally realized what a dumbass whore she is . She doesnt even deserve to breath the same air as I do.

    Thanks OT. You guys all along have told me to do this but denial was too much over me. I knew that when I posted about this on here you all would say the right things, I just didnt take them soon enough.

    So after last night when she was just crying hysterically, she went to her bf's house to cry to him. lol. They've known each other less than a month.

    I think that part of her is upset about what I did, but another part is that she knows she just lost her soulmate forever. She was probably so happy that I didnt get mad at her after what happened and I would still be her best friend and make her happy and be there for her..... and now im gone.

    whew I still got adrenaline going through me. Time to work out.
     

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